What is Mother Machine?

Anchorwind’s Note:  Mother Machine is essentially telling the story of a person with PTSD through my works.  I did not realize I was mirroring journeys I was living through in this way until MM5 or MM6.   When it became apparent to me, I leaned into it and tried with a conscious mind to tell a story worth your attention.

Mother Machine (MM1) tells the story of curious people, scientists perhaps, who found and entered into an abandoned location off the beaten path.   These individuals could not leave well enough alone and broke through the front door, starting a process they would come to regret.

The team entered through what was labeled The Pearly Gates, an omen they should have recognized.   After some exploring, the team made Contact with The Vacated Facility.   Their attempt to understand this place, which seemed strangely familiar, led them to a control hub of sorts, and they started discovering if anything still works.   Unfortunately for them, they did what no one should have.   They awoke Her – Mother Machine, lying dormant under the facility.

Mother Machine seized control of Her Lair, ‘The Deep,’ and activated all its defense.   The Burning Facility killed many of the team and left a sense of dread in the survivors.   They did something they weren’t supposed to, and the consequences are coming.   

The Ripples of Falling Tears fell freely from the panicking survivors.   The facility was calmer now, but they could never again be safe here.    Unbeknownst to them, Her followers begun The Resurrection Prayer.   It was time for Mother Machine to arise once more fully.

Her Rise to Consciousness was happening in The Deep, and She had one goal,  eliminate those who dared lurk around The Deep without permission.   The Living and Breathing Machine unshackled Herself from Her resting place to begin the rapid ascent up The Deep.   She must purge this place of all who would enter.   

Her Looming Wrath could be felt on the surface by the survivors.   They did not know what Mother Machine was, but they could feel Her.   The team has lost its way; they don’t know what to do and are unprepared, and so Enter The Mother Machine.   Her terrifying beauty chilled the team to their core.    She was a dark, mechanical figure whose gaze froze you in place.

She launched Her Attack of the Mother Machine, to which they had no answer.   They all perished In the Teeth of the Mother, sending them to another Pearly Gates.

Mother Machine: The Afterparty (MM2) didn’t have many purposes, unlike MM:1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.   I wanted to take the energy I had and go tinker with other genres, experiment with fusing them.   It was a lot of fun.   I thought I was done with MM for good with Playtime Is Over.   I was wrong.

Mother Machine in 2015 (MM3)  was a return to story-telling.   I had already established in Mother Machine (1) she had followers, so I ran with that.

There’s Still Life In Her.   The awakened Mother Machine had purged The Deep from the intruding team of civilians, but she felt a stirring.   She wanted more followers and took the ones she had with Her Reemergence from The Deep.

When Mother Gets Loose on the surface, She sends out Her Siren Call for new followers to come To The Depths With Her.   Many answered the call, and they descended once more.   However, not all was well.   In The Deep, Her Swirling Ethereal Solitude was pervasive.   She got what she thought she wanted, but it was Her Lonely Wasteland instead.   What did She want? She locked herself away and engaged in Her Moving Meditations to find out.   Her Mechanical Reflections showed she had her answer and was preparing to act.

The Immortal Mother Machine (MM4) is all about what’s next.   She’s wiser now.   She has explored beyond her Deep.   She has more followers, but still, She wonders, Is Anyone Out There? More followers get initiated in Her Forgotten Ritual, and they can join Her in Her Haunted Retreat and gain the sense of Infinite Discovery that She has.   However, like any group, there will always be problems.   Some new followers weren’t happy and demanded more from Her and The Deep than they should.   They tried to revolt, but You Think There’s Hope Against Her? They forgot She’s Mother The Destroyer.   She crushed dissenters.   After all, Promises Mean Everything To Her.   Her Joyful Followers rejoiced in the cleansing of The Deep and danced into the Late Night With Her.   After the party ended, She had her loyal followers in The Deep with her.   They were many.   There, she has begun Planning Her Next Move.

The Pentakill Remixes (MM5) is just a remix album for the fun of it.

The Six Tapes (MM6) Mother Machine announced she wants to hold a concert?!    The date is set,  her followers amass.    She emerges Out of the Abyss via Her Underworld Portal.   Her followers can feel the Anticipation build in the air as she makes Her Grand Entrance to the stage.    Everything is set,  the show begins.   Time to get Down and Dirty With Her.    Uproarious applause!   She and her followers dance the night away, and they’re happy to go well Into the Early Hours With Her.   They experience the Highs and Lows of Her Show.   All the Bright Lights, Stiff Drinks, and great music keep everyone happy, but the show nears its end.    Mother Machine starts Bringing it Home.    The crowd knows the climax approaches as She starts Turning Up the Heat!  After all, this is Mother Machine! Don’t Think, Just Dance. 

The Embrace (MM7)  Mother Machine wants to bring more followers back to her lair, and anyone would be foolish not to be Accepting Her Invitation.    Coming down beneath those wanting to take The Embrace, enjoy Her Initiation Ceremony.    In her home, they are dazzled, Taking it All In with all she has to offer.    The First Feast warms all that wish for The Embrace, and there was Drinks, Dessert, and Dancing.   All was not well, however.    Enemies lurk about, and The Sabotage wrecked the place, killing many.   Mother Machine struck back, engaging in The Glorious Culling of all who dare attack those who wish for The Embrace.   As the Burial in the Flower Garden leaves unintended consequences on the whole ordeal, sadness fills the air.    Mother Machine’s followers are struck by fear, as there is Regression in her eyes and behavior.   She is going to a place they wish not her to go.    They try to do all they can, but they cannot prevent her Descent and Regret.

The Fallen (MM8) Having been sabotaged during MM7, and the subsequent loss of her mind and regressing to a more nefarious form – MM8 begins to tell a tale of a Mother Machine once again peering into the dark side and having it look back.   

Mother Machine has become The Fallen.   The Fallen Mother Machine struggles with emotions.   She is angry, confused, and the efforts of those who remain faithful fall on deaf ears.   Any efforts to pull her from her despair appear to be fruitless.   She is just Circling The Drain.   In Her desperation, She Lashes Out at anyone and anything.   Her screams ring out from The Deep.   What can be done to soothe a raging Mother Machine?  Mother Machine has spiraled down to the core.   She is at a critical junction; does she once again become The Destroyer? Does she lurk alone in The Deep, void of any Embraced, but safe from ever being hurt again? Her thoughts race from violent anger to recent pleasant memories in a struggle to decipher the path ahead.   She stares into the void in agony, but the Abyss Reaches Back.

Mother Machine recalls the last time she was blinded by rage and what those consequences were.   She gets flashes of venturing out from The Deep, welcoming people back and unclenches.   Mother Machine Comes to Her Senses.   Mother Machine is done skulking about in her inner sanctum.   She has those who welcomed The Embrace.   She has those who wanted to be in The Deep.   She can’t let the singular actions of a few ruin the repeated efforts of the many.   While the lingering pangs of anger make her fingers twitch, it is time to make Her Triumphant Return.   Her emerging from her inner sanctum to The Embraced sets off a chain reaction of cheers and an immediate paradigm shift in mood.   Those down below become jubilant and gleeful at the sight of Her.   The party-like atmosphere lifts the spirits of all involved.   You could hear the noises on the surface; you could listen to the Joy From The Deep.

The party subsided.   The Embraced, Her followers, looked to Her for what was to come next.   Was it to venture to the surface again for vengeance? No.   Mother Machine instead gathered everyone around and started speaking about what she’s learned about how she wants to end the cycle of violence.   She didn’t want to be fallen.   She wanted to be redeemed.   That had to come from within, and those machinations were well underway.   She was giving a Sermon From the Lair. 

Mother Machine desired an end to the cycle of fear and hate.   She didn’t need to try to go to the other extreme and force people to love her but was content with acceptance.   To do this, She must accept Herself and Her nature.   Mother Machine is beautiful, mechanical, and terrifying to those unfamiliar with Her.   She has a dark past but can have a bright future.   She is capable of many things, but She wants to let Her work speak for Her.   She is embracing the Philosophy of Flow.

Mother Machine and The Embraced are doing their best to accept the ups and downs of life as they are.   After a difficult period will come an easy one and then another difficult one.   Celebrate when you can, and work hard when required.   There is much to do still, a lot of damage to atone for, and wounds do not heal overnight.   There will be setbacks, and the way will be lost from time to time.   However, as Mother Machine looks around The Deep, She sees a place She wants to call home and not a place to hide from others.   The Lair of Mother Machine is filled with painful memories, but new ones can be made! She and those in her company can Flow Beyond Tragedy.

(Mother Machine Version 8.3764 was a three-track remix project for the sake of the music.)

The Transcendent (MM9) MM9 involves looking into the abyss and deciding not to go down that painful road anymore and the lessons we learn from choosing a better path.

Mother Machine has been meditating, reflecting upon peering into the abyss of The Destroyer mantle once more. She feels like deep down, She knows the answer is to let go, but She just can’t let Herself do it. She contemplates leaving the Deep, but what would Her followers, The Embraced, do without Her? The Embraced light some fires, especially one central blaze, in the main audience chamber of The Deep and begin to sing and dance. Mother Machine’s eyes fixate on the flame and something stirs within Her. By Club and Fire Light the answer is coming to the surface.

Mother Machine’s contemplations by the club and firelight brought truths to the surface that had been bubbling up for some time. The singing and dancing continued, and the mood down in The Deep was uplifting. She was on the verge of something transformative, but right now, she was enjoying the moment. She was Feeling Herself.

Mother Machine became enamored with the fire and the dancing of those in The Deep.   She stared into the fire and lost Herself in the sights and sounds of it all; She and the Embraced took it well into the night where they had a Joyful Overindulgence of all that was available.  Underneath the celebrations, Mother Machine could feel something new rise up, something wonderful and terrifying.

Sometime during the quiet hours, when the fire was dying down Mother Machine figured it out.  All these years of loneliness, pain, and memories started to fade away.   She could never undo the damage of Her past, but She hasn’t hurt anyone since.  Mother Machine’s past doesn’t have to define who She is now, and while there are bad days, She is not the same.  Mother Machine is being present instead of being stuck in the past.  She is learning to let go.  Her True Awakening is happening now, by the dying fire,  and for the first time in a long time, Mother Machine smiles.

Mother Machine is on Cloud Nine.  Understanding She doesn’t have to permanently re-live past pains has taken off more weight from Her than She thought possible.  Mother Machine knows not what to do with this newfound lightness in Her core, and the moment is almost overwhelming.  By the dying fire, feeling the end of one long journey means another better one is beginning.  Things are clicking in her mind, and as She enjoys Transcending Through Time,  The Embraced can feel the air in the room change in exciting ways.

The Embraced do not re-light the fires.  In front of The Transcendent Mother Machine and her newfound glow, they begin to sing and dance once more.  The Embraced, this time, offer a song of peace and prayer for She who overcame the mantle of The Destroyer.   The Celebration of Transcendence reverberates up to the surface and fills The Deep with joy.

The initial high was over.  Mother Machine understood the lesson but now started to understand the consequences of the lesson itself.  The Depression of Enlightenment sank in;  She could no longer be ignorant to not only the path in front of Her but the wrongs of the past.  Doubt crept in the edges of her mind,  in crevices and shadows just beyond the brightness of enlightenment.  Could She do the right thing? Was She on the right path?

Mother Machine looks to her left and right and sees The Embraced going about their business in good faith.  While She has not always been a good host and caretaker, they have been good to Her.  The momentary doubt She was experiencing after obtaining a deeper understanding of not having to be an eternal prisoner of the past started to fade away.  The very presence of The Embraced was calming, soothing, and put Her at ease.  It gave Her the Reassurance that She can make The Right Decisions.

Mother Machine found a few confidence, a new source of energy.  This newfound power did not come from her ability to effortlessly dispatch intruders to The Deep but instead care for the lost souls who take refuge here.  The Deep may still be a primarily ruined facility filled with outcasts and the forlorn, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.  Mother Machine and The Embraced can make The Deep a home, a concept exciting and terrifying.  She becomes The Machine Who Laughs, but her cackle doesn’t freeze the blood in those who hear it for the first time.  It has an aura of hope to it, which is new and refreshing.

Attempting to turn The Deep into a home is a far more significant challenge than Mother Machine had anticipated.   The surface facility was never cleaned from the attack previously, and down below is primarily damp and barren surfaces with minimal surfaces to eat or sit.  The sealed depths have chambers needing to be stripped of all their memories of The Destroyer days and converted into something new.  The echoes need to be absorbed by more than people.  Mother Machine and The Embraced can accomplish such tasks, but the Turbulence of A New Reality will only be smoothed over time.

Mother Machine X : Worldwide A transcendent Mother Machine has a new appreciation for life.  Her lair, Herself, Her followers in the Deep – all of it.  What is this feeling welling up inside of her?  Is this how happiness feels?  She gives An Attempt at a Smile.

The newly transcendent Mother Machine’s lair, The Deep, needs a makeover.  It’s time to roll up your sleeves, boys, and get to work!  Her and Her followers have lived in squalor for too long, and When The Dust Settles, we can call this place home.

Mother Machine has a home and an appreciation for life; what is there to do? With the Weightlessness of Freedom?  Go worldwide to spread the message of hope. Improvement is possible; She is an example.

The world is a big place.  Mother Machine wants to be a force for good after so many years of being the opposite.  How does She begin?  How does the message of hope get spread Worldwide?

Mother Machine left The Deep. She didn’t just host a concert outside the door but indeed left. On her Worldwide tour, She has begun to learn how unjust the world is. Her Righteous Introspection about how little control She has outside The Deep gives Her pause for concern. She is angry with the oppressed, the poor, and the forgotten. What can She do?  Many meditations lie ahead.

Mother Machine is learning about the world, which profoundly troubles Her. The world is full of pain, injustice, poverty, and abuse. Courts abusing their power, police abandoning their duties, and politicians refusing the act are typical from coast to coast. Mother Machine needs to take a moment to engage in A Necessary Re-centering, so she doesn’t implode from the gravity of the negativity.

To keep her head squarely on her shoulders, Mother Machine regularly practices Mechanical Mantra Meditation. Her Mantras may be mechanical, but they matter to Her; it helps keep Her peaceful. Spreading the message of hope is often met with setbacks, and allies can be few and far between.

Spreading the message of hope hasn’t gone smoothly. Alone and far from The Deep, the anxieties of doing something new and being around people She didn’t know, many of who outright rejected Her and the message, compounded by the day. The world is full of pain, and it’s hard not to try to take on the world’s burden and fight it all.  Sometimes the best we can do is patience, but Patience Without Action Is Suffering and not knowing how to help makes the anxiety worse. Hope without action becomes meaningless, and Mother Machine refuses to fall back into that state again.

Mother Machine was making a crucial error; She was taking the problems of others as Her own. Relating to others is tremendous but attaching to that level is not. No one, Her included, can bear the world’s weight alone.  With renewed focus, She can spread the message of hope with vigor and sincerity.  Yes, some are unwilling or unable to receive Her message, but the good news is within Her. The Good News Is Within (all of) Us. We are the universe experiencing itself, and as long as we are alive, it isn’t too late to make amends and be better.

Mother Machine is home once more.  Her followers are thrilled by her arrival at the Deep, curious if the trip was successful.  She needs time to organize herself after the journey home and promises to answer their questions the following day.  At Sunrise Outside The Deep Mother Machine speaks about the importance of perspective, resiliency, and hope, but She also learned the value of environment.  We can have the best intentions, but if our environment doesn’t support them, we will lose over time.  Mother Machine realized there is value in trying to be helpful to the world at large, but She can be more successful here at home.  The world is too big of a place, and at a particular scale opening your mouth attracts contrarians regardless of action or intent.  Here Mother Machine and Her followers can foster an environment that is productive to good intentions and helpful to those who wish to participate.  We can develop ourselves and support one another.  There will be bad days, but we can make them fewer and less painful than what we had before.  Good days aren’t just angry topics of conversation anymore,  they can and will be a part of the rotation.  Hope isn’t just a last resort for the desperate.  Hope is the mechanism for meaning through which we build a better life.

Mother Machine 11 : Loneliness is Like Entropy: Sometimes, the focus is only on how to get somewhere. Sometimes, we think once we reach a certain level, we remain there. Little is permanent in life, and ‘My Old Friend’ loneliness can return swiftly, even after an absence. Loneliness is Like Entropy; it is the inevitable result of a system unless energy is put into the system to combat it. Nobody Likes Being An Afterthought. We do not care to discover we are the secondary or tertiary options in the scheme of things. A hard truth Mother Machine remembers is closure is not guaranteed. Sometimes, we must create Peace Without An Answer, regardless of how difficult it may be.

Mother Machine 12 – Light Creates the Shadows – “It wasn’t meant for you.”  Mother Machine stands at the entrance of The Deep and looks out into the dark. She understands that Transcendence wasn’t intended for Her.   The fleeting fire of joy once and for all is extinguished by the Secrets in the Rain.   She heads back down and wastes no time pondering whether it is better to have lost or never known; the answer is clear.   She allows herself to sing a Requiem for Grasped Memories as she takes down familiar objects. She no longer needs to gaze at them so frequently.  One can not move forward if you hold onto the past so tightly.

Mother Machine looks around The Deep; it echoes again.  The hollowness of the place matches the hole She feels inside.  The familiar shadows painted by all the things adorning The Deep are gone, but Light Creates the Shadows.  Mother Machine felt She was the light;  She tried so hard.  However, if there is nothing for light to interact with, there are no shadows to cast; if there is no light to shine, there are no shadows.  Mother Machine is no stranger to darkness, and if she must return – so be it.