Of Impairments and Improvements
What happens to a man without sight? Is he simply left to wander the darkness, alone, and impaired? Unfortunately, yes, in some cases. However, in his journey he will develop new abilities, improvements, that the people in his midst may not be so keen on. His other senses will sharpen in the absence of his sight. They may not all sharpen equally, but he will improve in other areas as a result of being impaired elsewhere. He may be able to isolate a scent you cannot. He may be able to notice a sound you did not. Whatever it may be, it is a part of his journey now and over time it will just be a part of who he is.
What, then, of a man without much of his past? We learn from our past, it shapes us into who we are. We look back with a myriad of emotions, depending on what we’re remembering, and draw from them. There are things we wish to repeat, and others we wish to avoid. What of us, who don’t have that? What of us who only have certain events and fragments here and there? It makes us keen on the present and the future. Without a past to reflect on, we’re very aware of the here and now. Without much of a back then, we want to make the most out of every day. We never want to miss an opportunity. Few know just how short and fleeting life is than we who essentially have experienced (remembered) so little of it.
Close your eyes, and envision your loved ones. Does it make you smile? Picture your room, or office. Retrace your drive home. Can you do it? I hope so, it’s a normal thing. Being able to use your imagination and see things in your mind is a common thing. It’s good. There are those of us who can’t. We see nothing. Let’s expand this. Imagine the taste of your favorite good. Sing your favorite song, and not just a little snippet but as much as you can. We can’t do these things either. When we close our eyes and try to mentally recreate these things, it’s just blank.
It certainly isn’t that we don’t have loved ones or favorite things. Of course we do. We just can’t summon them in our minds at will. So what happens to us with this impairment? I’ve come to learn that we have very deep hearts. We feel things intensely. Just as the blind man may have more sensitive ears than you, I may have more of a sensitive heart than you. We will cry at your stories, and be passionate lovers. We will be ecstatically happy, or be furiously angry. We have depth and range of emotion. It is wonderful when it is and not…when it’s not.
We’re not better or worse people, we just have impairments and improvements. We love and want to be loved just like you. We may have to take a different approach to get to the same, or similar, point, but we’ll get there. You may just get a flash of memory and become very excited and go off on a tangent and we’ll be very happy for you and listen with genuine interest (and learn as we go, we’re good at that). We’ll just be resourceful and keep up the best we can, you may not even know the difference sometimes. We’re: wise, insightful, intuitive, inquisitive, loyal, creative, and patient. Sadly, though, people like me are also lonely and unwanted. For all the good we are, and do, it seems like the impairments outweigh the improvements.
~Monk Anchorwind
January 2016