Quinhalla Factions is when I began writing with an actual storyline and a sense of time progression. It began with the introduction of Clan Neveah and ran through the destruction of Quinhalla, the original guild hall. Part II saw some shift away from henchmen onto other characters like Dandd and Spike as well as the core group of Crysania, Lalandra, Balreth, and Nyx. Part II also stepped up the number of references, and many of them aimed specifically at the interests of guild members.
Mahalo
Some Henchmen were gathering at the bulletin board before Morning Formation.
Henchman 3: Anything new?
Henchman 1: Let’s see… Double SS/LB Weekend-
Henchman 2 and 3: Oh Yeah! /highfive
Henchman 1: …Dervishes Suck…-
Henchman 99: If only they would let ME use Eternal Aura…
Henchman 1:…Rangers are too Defensive…-
Henchman 45:…and WE HELD THE LINE!
Henchman 2 and 3: that’s all you did too! /laugh
Henchman 1:…Warriors have layers…-
Henchman 9 breaks into tears and runs away exclaiming “Finally! Someone understands!”
Henchman 1: There’s another note too, WTF is this?
[painful awkward pause]
Henchman 1: [very poorly] Aller Anfang ist schwer, I’m getting the hang of a lot of this. Choosing my primary though? Das steht auf einem anderen Blatt. Mahalo Angel.
Henchman 77’s Head explodes.
Henchman 2: Dood… Seriously… How many languages are in that note?
Henchman 1: I think just two dood. German and Ours.
Henchman 3: What the [Discordant Guitar Notes] Is Mahalo? Doesn’t sound like anything we would say.
After much Tittering, an idea struck!
Henchman 2: Dood! Don’t you get it? maHALO? Angel? This is some religious joke.
Henchman 3: So how many churches now?
Henchman 1: Dwayna. 1. Grenth. 2. Sniper 3. The Non-Denominational Brotherhood of Henchman. 4. The Athiests. 5.
Henchman 2: How can you be an Athiest when Dwayna – HERSELF – comes HERE…
Henchman 1: Shut up. So now we have the Mahalo Church too. 6.
Henchman 3: Jesus Christ…
Henchman 1: Nope, I don’t think we have a “Jesus” Church here…
Henchman 3: It’s just an expression!
Henchman 2: Where did you pick that up?
Henchman 3: Crysania’s Screen Capture – Look! [displays picture]
Henchman 1: Who would want to follow a ranger?
Henchman 3: IT’S JUST AN EXPRESSION!
Henchman 2: Might make a good martyr…
Henchman 1: Nope, that’s a Monk Skill.
Henchman 3: AAAAAAHHHHHH!
Henchman 1: Anyway, let’s just ask around after Formation and find out what we can.
–The Next Morning–
Henchman 1: Dood. Look at this!
Henchman 2: What?
Henchman 1: To Henchman 496, and 572, I saw the range was cleaned up. Mahalo, Balreth.
[awkward pause]
Henchman 2: So Balreth’s converted?
Henchman 3: No more Synagogue of Sniper?
[energetic pause]
All Henchman in Attendance: WOO-HOO! IT’S OVER! /dance
Henchman 1: Dood! We still have to figure out what this Halo is that Angel is talking about.
Henchman 3: Balreth loves playing Halo…
Henchman 2: What the [Guitar Notes]?
Henchman 3: I just blurted that out. I don’t even know what that means.
Henchman 1: Ok, we make a covenant here and now. We FIGHT the Halo!
Henchmen: YEAH!
Henchman 2: Yeah Dood, six gods are enough…
Henchman 3: …and the non-denominational brotherhood…
Henchman 2: true, true.
Henchman 1: [Guitar Notes] Here comes Chuck. Form up!
–the next morning–
The henchmen show up extra-early to see what new pro-halo propaganda has been posted.
[painful groan]
Henchman 1: No…
Henchman 2: That’s it, Where Dhummed.
Henchman 4: Dhumm Song Time?
Henchman 4 gets mercilessly slaughtered by other Henchmen in attendance.
Henchman 1: They got Crysania too. “Hey Henchmen! All your efforts with the Profession Reports hasn’t got unnoticed. We’ll order Canthan or something, Kaineng Duck or Shing and Sour Pork? We’ll have a formation and get some votes when Dandd and I Finish. Mahalo, Crysania”
Henchman 2: SHING AND SOUR PORK! I hope we can get some General Tsogo’s Chicken!
Henchman 3 Slaps Henchman 2: This is serious!
Henchman 3, rubbing his cheek: yeah…sorry.
Henchman 1: Okay Doods, Listen up! WE, as in us henchmen, WE need to find this “Halo” Take it on a long and arduous quest against seemingly impossible odds, where not all of you will make it. We will take this “Halo” up to the top of the Mountain in Hell’s Precipice, AND WE SEND IT TO DHUUM!
Henchman 3: Isn’t that a bit Mordor?
Henchman 2: What?
Henchman 3: MORBID! You know, the part where not all of them make it…
Henchman 2: True.
It was just then that Angel had Entered Quinhalla via Map Travel.
Henchman 15; There She is! For the Covenant!
Henchman 15 attempted to attack Angel, but was instead paralyzed through various pressure point techniques.
Henchman 1: For [Guitar Notes] Sake! ANOTHER person walking around here with impossibly debilitating abilities…
Balreth, Lalandra, Nyx, and Crysania Map Travel into Quinhalla as well, Reminiscing about Ascalon and the Northern Shiverpeaks.
Right in front of them, a paralyzed Henchman…
Balreth spotted Angel and hurried off to her.
Nyx wandered back to the Menagerie to return her pet after some good exercise.
Henchman 1: Crysania…with all due respect…may we..umm…have…youknow…the…halo? soweummcanmakeanepicquesttothrowitdownavolcanoandsaveeveryone?
Henchman 2: Yeah Dood. We would rather have forcechoke and sniper than this halo stuff.
Lalandra felt invisible.
Lalandra: Does no body fear me?
The Henchmen fought, resisted, and twisted their faces but in the end could not help but laughing.
Henchman 88: oooooo…not Necrosis! I’m soooooo sccaaarrreeeddd…
Crysania Held out her hand, shaped like a cup.
Henchman 88, smiling at Lalandra the whole way, kneeled down and choked himself.
Crysania: What Halo?
Henchmen: Exactly.
Lalandra had enough, and stormed off to Death Valley.
The Henchmen pointed vigorously towards the bulletin board.
It clicked.
Crysania laughed, a good booming laugh that echoed all over the front part of Quinhalla.
Henchmen: For the Covenant!
Henchman 1: WAIT! …Just [guitar notes] wait.
Henchman 1: So you DO have the halo?
Crysania: It’s not an object, it’s a word.
Henchman 1: A word? What language?
Crysania: Hawaiian
Henchman 1: I don’t know, How are you?
Crysania: I’m fine…
Henchman 1: Seriously, what is mahalo?
Crysania: Thank you.
Henchman 1: You’re welcome.
Crysania grins, and returns to her tower without another word.
Henchman 1: They got Crysania! Anyone how anything about this “Howaiiam?”
Henchman 2: I do. You’re Fine.
/maptravel: Henchman 104: Dood! There are no “Howaiiam” Districts. I tried saying Mahalo in the German and International districts. Most people just looked at me funny. One guy said “You’re Welcome.”
Henchman 1: No! It’s spreading to the International Districts too!
/maptravel: Henchman 206: DOOD! HAWAIIAN means something that comes from Hawaii!
Henchman 1: uhhh…Where’s Hawaii?
Henchman 206: uhhh…oh [guitar note]
Henchman 1: Listen up men! Grab your [guitar note]. We have to scour every corner of every map, and find this Hawaii. When we’re there, we vanquish EVERYTHING, grab the HALO, take it to Hell’s Precipice and-
Henchmen: For the Covenant!
Henchmen: QUIN OR QUIT!
The henchmen zealously disperse.
Dandd: You’re ok with this?
Crysania: Why not? They found the Grail, didn’t they?
Dandd looks at the grail, filled with Aged Dwarven Ale, and takes a sip.
Dandd, grinning: I guess so.
Dandd takes another Sip.
Dandd: Sometimes, Crysania, you can be a real @$$.
Crysania, grinning from ear to ear: Mahalo.
Laughter ensues.
Episode 24
10 Sep 2010
References: Guild History, Halo, Lord of the Rings, Abrahamic Monotheism, Metalocalypse, Mass Effect, Shrek, Invader Zim, Full Metal Jacket.
Order of the Party
The officers were gathered in Crysania’s Tower to discuss the factioning of the Henchmen. The conversation was lighthearted and Crysania was just glad to have everyone in one spot for a bit. The conversation hushed when Dandd and Balreth started comparing notes of olde. Dandd: I haven’t seen anything like this since a +1 and a Methodical Paranoia were considered admirable traits. Balreth caressed the Diamonds, Rubies, and Sapphires in his belt pouch, failing to suppress a grin.
Crysania: I blame Balreth!
She was only half-joking.
Crysania: who can resist his tall, Lean, physique?
Everyone checks out Balreth, who flexes instinctively.
Crysania: Balreth is the only one I’ve ever met who actually got YOUNGER with time.
Dandd mutters under his breath: @$$hole.
Crysania: Balreth comes in, smelling of parchment and polyhedrons. He is friends with merchants the world over and is just a downright agreeable guy.
The officers nod and murmur in approval.
Crysania: …but then. POW! Snippy Snap. It’s amazing coming from a guy like Balreth.
Dandd: …and it’s how he says sssnnniipppyy snnnnaaaaaaap too, it’s not an authoritative statement. It’s a “I’m the man” type statement, a self-assurance at medium volume.
Dandd: He comes in smiling, an everyone loves having him around. Then he goes out, spike kills a few here and there, acts as if it’s an everyday thing, and everyone loves having him around EVEN MORE!
Dandd: Balreth is likely more popular than Crysania.
Crysania: I agree, Spiritspike isn’t as exciting to watch as the sniper technique.
[A brief pause]
Dandd: And Balreth doesn’t Forcechoke People…
[a lot of nodding and murmuring]
Lalandra: So What? So Crysania is Tough but Fair? She’s balanced! You will get healed after the forcehoke. Balreth just leaves his victim in Lawn Ornament state. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? I am the only one of the Senior Four that doesn’t have a faction of henchmen wanting to follow me..
Balreth: I didn’t go out recruiting…
Enter into the room two of the Order of the Arrow members: equipped with Red Norn Axes and Dragon Gauntlets.
Crysania: Speaking of recruits! –she says beaming from ear to ear.
Nyx: I got left with the dumb ones…
Lalandra: Better than none at all!
Dandd: Wait! I think I got it!
The group is listening intently.
Dandd: They’ve done the Quinseeker Prophecies. Now they have moved on to Quinhalla Factions.
Dandd: It should prove be most interesting, if I do say so myself.
Lalandra: I want a faction.
Crysania: Well then Nyx, Balreth, please take good care of our henchmen. We’ll meet again soon. I hope everyone liked the food. Shing and Sour Pork is a real hit with the men.
Lalandra: I WANT A FACTION!
–
So Balreth, and his Order of the Arrow, are out in riven earth, high atop the waterfall looking down.
Balreth: I wonder how far down It is?
Arrowman 1: YOU HEARD HIM – GET TO WORK!
All the arrow men throw down their gear and start fishing for rope, counterweight, and any other equipment that could be used. The Men were amazingly fast, doubly so for Henchmen. They tied up a henchmen and discovered the rope wasn’t long enough. The Arrowmen were saddened.
Balreth wanted to run an experiment.
Balreth: Someone needs to tell me how long this waterfall is, NOW!.
Arrowmen Sergeant: YOU heard ‘EM! GET THE [@#$%] UP! LETS GO!
One of the henchmen leapt off of the waterfall.
Arrorman 3: 1 Sir
Arrorman 3: 2 Sir
Arrorman 3: 5 Sir
Arrorman 3 caved in his skull on the rocks below.
Arrowman 1: Sir Silverlock, approximately 5.4 seconds to impact.
Arrowman 2 Leaps off of the waterfall as well, to verify.
Arrowman 2: 1 Sir, 2 Sir, 5 Sir! [CRACK!]
Arrowman 1: Verified Sir, roughly 5.4 seconds to impact.
Balreth orders a resurrection and retires to Quinhalla
In his fortress, Balreth grinned. He could get used to something like this
–
Meanwhile, near Death Valley,
Henchman 1: Lalandra! We have a faction idea!
Lalandra: REALLY?!
Henchman 1: Yes! The Pre-Order!
Lalandra: The…Pre? Order?
Henchman 1: YES! We take several Gifts of the Huntsman and arrange them in a pyramid formation for an icon.
Lalandra Groans.
Henchman 2: Here’s our slogan: “Screw your XP. Screw your Plotline. It’s easy here!”
Lalandra weeps uncontrollably.
[awkward pause]
Henchman 1: What’s wrong with The Pre-Order?
Lalandra Bursts
Lalandra: IF YOU’RE ALREADY HERE, IT’S TOO LATE! IT’S PAST TENSE! IT’S NO MORE! FOR QUINHALLA RESIDENTS, THIS IS AN EX-ORDER!
Henchman 1: oh yeah…
[the henchmen run away quick, fast, and in a hurry]
Lalandra sniffles
Lalandra: I bet even Dandd gets an Order before me!
Just then a group of henchmen were walking past Death Valley, towards the now-colorful Henchmen Quarters.
Henchman 77: I failed the test…
Henchman 204: Me too…
Henchman 289: I heard that only Crysania, Balreth, Angel, and Gideon passed the test.
Lalandra was nervous.
Lalandra: You there! What test?
Henchman 77: The Beta Order test.
Lalandra looked puzzled
Henchman 204: It’s a test given by Dandd to grant admission in the Honorary Beta Order.
Lalandra: What’s the Beta Order?
Henchman 289: “What was shapes what is” A reference to Adventures before Quinhalla was Built.
Lalandra sighs, and turns to go back to her cave.
Lalandra: Even Dandd got an Order before me…
Lalandra closes the door to her cave and ponders what to do to merit a faction of henchmen.
Lalandra brainstorms for awhile. An idea!
Lalandra: Order of the Sidekick!
Lalandra: Angel could be a member too. I often support someone in Crysania’s Clan, and Angel supports someone in Balreth’s clan.
A pause.
Lalandra: No… It wouldn’t be long before I’m referred to as “Robin” or “Bullwinkle” or something.
Lalandra: Hmmm… … … Order of the Party Member!
A pause.
Lalandra: No, everyone’s a party member. Order of the Party? !! I like that one. Order of the Party!
An energetic pause.
Lalandra: Go Anywhere, Do Anything, Be Anyone, Support the Party Leader! Something like this, this will work!
Lalandra runs out of Death Valley to start her Faction too, let’s just see if anyone will join.
Episode 25
15 Sep 2010
Notes: Potentially the debut of “I Blame Balreth!” While the Pre-Order doesn’t technically exist, it sure is popular.
References: Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Metalocalypse, Monty Python, Batman and Robin, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Guild History.
Dandd and Secnded
“…Everything in Moderation is Erroneous.” Pronounced Secnded.
“Rarely is there ever anyone who fights for ‘killing in moderation’ or ‘plague in moderation.’” Secnded continued.
There was a pause, an energy in the air building up to frantic pace.
“What they are after, instead, is Harmony. Harmony is a contented state with the environment around you – encompassing good and evil.” Secnded rambled to himself.
“But evil doesn’t truly exist, for it’s just a comparative statement in relation to good.” Secnded knew he was on to something.
“…and good is just a judgment, a reflection of our held values.” Secnded was practically yelling!
“Values are not universal, thus the judgment applies only to the judge.” Secnded was pacing.
“So then Harmony is attained not in the pursuit of destroying evil, but instead through compassion for all, no preconditions or exclusions.”
It was then that the perception of time itself changed for Secnded.
He needed less sleep, less food, but was instead powered by an energy source not easily understood by those around him.
He was able to sense energies both positive and negative from seemingly impossible distances.
He felt an urge to visit Crysania.
He walked up the staircase with a new confidence.
When he reached the top, Crysania simply said “Now you know what being a Monk is truly all about.”
From then on he devoted his life to the well-being of all residents and guests of Quinhalla.
He was Secnded, Child of Dandd, and Bore the Burden of Light.”
Dandd awaited in anticipation for reviews.
Chuck shouted “BOO! NO ACTION!”
Gallagher didn’t get it.
Tanto just left without so much as a word.
Trixie sighed “Great, as if one Telepathic Monk around here wasn’t creepy enough.”
Even Bip didn’t feel like doing anything.
Dandd was sad.
Dandd took the paper to Crysania, who beamed with energy. “I like it! I doubt anyone else will though.”
Dandd shook his head and laughed to himself, used to that eerie predictive analysis.
Dandd spoke: “So what’s wrong with it?”
Crysania: “It involves too many thoughts that most don’t want to think. You’ll have to simplify it and make it funnier if you want a wider audience.”
Dandd: “funnier?”
Crysania: “Yeah. Try some Reference Humor”
Just then a Henchman came running up the stairs
Henchman 1: Crysania! We found the Nazgul Sword in Kamadan for 35 Ecto.
Crysania: I sense a ‘but’
Henchman 1: Yes. We didn’t buy it, it’s a Cruel Sword – Not Zealous, I’m afraid.
Crysania: That’s too bad. Good Job. Go to the Green Dragon, and the Inn of the Last Home and let everyone know to stop the hunt.
Henchman 1: Right away! /poof
Crysania: I’m sorry about that. Reference Humor, you know – adapt obvious references into the universe you’re writing in.
Dandd: I’m not good at that, but I’ll try.
Crysania: Henchman Please, You’ve been around since Betamax, and probably Maxed the Beta!
Dandd: I’m not sure exactly what you just said, but I’ll go try anyway. /bamf
–
Dandd sips from his grail.
Dandd muttered: “Reference humor…”
“Sayest not ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing when ‘Ni!’ will suffice.” Secnded Began. “..and when you are told ‘I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!’ Respondeth kindly and always look on the bright side of life.” Secnded continued. “What we cant’s not the least is does the bad job but always the good, wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean?” Secnded stated. “If there is violence inherent in the system, remember that ‘tis but a scratch. There may not always be a punch-line scheduled nor will all errors get you sacked.” Secnded spoke calmly. “In the end, expect inquisitions, appreciate shrubberies, welcome the completely different and know that from time to time it will be your head nailed to the coffee table. Go Team VHoolequin” Secnded concluded.”
Dandd looked at this with ambivalence: “I prefer MY version.” –
Dandd gathered all the other instructors again, and shared the ‘referenced’ version.
There were hysterics.
The crowd were glad for Chuck choosing to wear shorts underneath the Paragon Armor.
Gallagher couldn’t stop crying and repeatedly proclaimed “I can’t breathe!”
Tanto and Legion were acting out bits of the referenced scenes.
Trixie’s laughter echoed well out of Dandd’s chambers.
Bip cast himself to death in glee.
–
The Instructors left completely jubilant and could be heard expanding the references as far as earshot carried.
–
Crysania came down, sensing Dandd’s Defeat
Crysania: Reference Humor?
Dandd: I don’t even know what I wrote! I just threw some lines, removing context, together and added some punctuation.
Crysania: I heard the laughter up top.
Dandd: I’m not funny. I don’t have a sense of humor.
Just then a Corsair-looking dude smoking his pipe walked in.
Corsair Henchman: Aye, but comedy ain’t never been about a sense of humor.
Crysania: I’m just going to leave you two alone now.
Crysania walks away giggling. She’ll have to Thank Margrid Later.
Episode 26
25 Sep 2010
Notes: First appearance of /bamf! This would replace /poof quickly. Crysania and Dandd are well on their way to making the Beta and Spirits and Ceremonies Orders with episodes like these.
References: Philosophy, 4th Wall, Monty Python, Metalocalypse, Lord of the Rings, Dragonlance, The Venture Brothers.
New Character [Spike]
Dandd was enjoying a nice day in Quinhalla. He was walking in The Plains when he heard a familiar voice.
Voice: WHOOOO!!!! +1 MOTHER@#$%ERS!
Dandd froze.
A body impacted the ground at Dandd’s feet.
The Monk-On-Duty quickly brought him back.
The figure stood up, kind of.
Dandd: Spike Baltrihper. Long time no see.
Spike: No @#$%. You shohld ge’ out mor.
Dandd: Just dropped by?
Spike giggled: Thhaths punny.
Spike distracted himself.
Spike: aye cae teh viszhit!
Dandd: Good. I haven’t seen my old-
Spike: ADHVAHNCED!
Dandd: Ranger friend in a long time. Suddenly all the color returned to Spike.
Spike: Damn that Grog is good @#$%!
Dandd: Wore off did it?
Spike: yeah…
Spike looks down.
A henchman was walking by minding their own business, when spike walked up to them and yelled SEX AND DRUGS AND ROCK and ROLL! As loud as he could, knocking the henchmen over in surprise.
Henchman 1: What are you, some kind of Geomancer?
Spike looked like he was going to cry.
Spike: A bunch’a kids ya got here! Let me guess – “It’s like a computer game, but on paper”
Spike could hear Voices from various parts of Quinhalla yell: “STOP THAT!”
Dandd: So where have you been?
Spike: NO I’M NOT!
Dandd: No you’re…wait…That’s not even a response to what I was saying!
Spike: Oh. I know I can do better, just let me get high!
Spike begins to consume Red Rock Candies at an incredible rate.
Spike begins muttering incoherently
Crysania came down from her tower, offering to keep Dandd company.
Crysania: Is he alright?
Spike: I AM SPIKHOLIO. I NEED ROCK CANDY FOR MY FACEHOLE!
Dandd: We were in an “Advanced” campaign, a long time ago.
Spike savagely pounces on a rock and tries to drink from it
Dandd: He was a loner; a lot of rangers were back then.
Spike gets on all fours and threatens to ‘track’ his mug of grog to the ends of the land
Dandd: He was near a place called “Kendermore”
Spike sits and begins complaining about the burr in his foot
Dandd: he lost half his mind there.
Crysania: Half?
Spike attempts to scale Crysania’s tower, singing to himself “…friendly neighborhood rangerman…”
Spike, a couple body lengths up, slows down.
Spike: Is there a reason I’m up here?
Dandd: Hydrodynamics!
Spike screams in terror and falls from the tower.
Crysania: Hydrodynamics?
Spike begins to set off fireworks as fast as his hands will let them, chanting “Planet called Dirt. People Called People. Planet called Dirt…”
Dandd: Yes. Spike here lost the other half of his mind at Mt. Nevermind.
Spike managed to steal and consume all the Ale that was intended for Dandd’s Grail.
Dandd noticed, after the empty containers hit the ground.
Crysania: Wow…
Dandd: His time near Kendermore has made him an excellent thief.
Spike: YOU’RE A TOWEL!
Spike begins punching various stones of the Tower in search of ‘Funkytown’
Crysania: Quite a handful.
Dandd: Has been for a while. He refuses to settle down. He just wanders from one area to the next, looking for more substances to ingest.
Crysania takes a closer peek: Legendary Cartographer? Connoisseur of Confectionaries?! Incorrigible Ale-Hound?! AND Life of the Party?!
Spike Flexes: “Don’t you worry about me, I’m tripping BALLS!”
Dandd: Hence the name.
Crysania points at Spike: Is he sticking around?
Dandd: WHOA! YOU’RE A LOADED GUN!
Crysania blinks confusedly.
Spike looks around, realizes he’s trapped between them two and the tower: “WHOA! THERE’S NO WHERE TO RUN!”
Dandd groans.
Spike: NO ONE CAN SAVE ME THE DAMAGE IS DONE!
Spike returns to normal.
Spike: So do you guys eat around here? I’m famished.
Crysania is stunned
Spike: Come on Guild Leader! You too!
Dandd grins
Spike: We can tell you the story when we beat up a bunch of sci-fi dorks. What was our war cry again?
Dandd didn’t miss a beat: “Screw your Lightsabers, we have Light Maces!”
Spike and Dandd turn to each other, beaming with joy: “GO TEAM VHOOLEQUIN!”
Crysania stood there amazed. There were actual rays of light emanating from them.
Crysania: Yeah, let’s go. After that I’m drinking.
Spike: I never drink.
Spike tried to steal from Crysania, who has nothing to steal…
Crysania: I’ve forcechoked for less.
Spike: SORRY! Habit. I was only going to borrow it anyway, I was going to give it back…
Dandd laughed, it was good to have another old (“Advanced”) guy around.
Spike: Ok..maybe a little, here and there…
Episode 27
28 Sep 2010
Notes: Spike Baltrihper would rapidly become one of the Hoolequin regulars.
References: D&D, Sex Drugs Rock & Roll, Guild History, South Park, Beavis and Butthead, Dragonlance, Spiderman, Bon Jovi [You Give Love a Bad Name], Star Wars, The Venture Brothers
Silkball
It was a peaceful day in Quinhalla. Henchmen and Quinzies scurried about, the officers were pursuing their own ambitions, and the heroes were out dispensing justice. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before this almost-melodic howling came from The Plains. Then came the singing, worse than the howling.
Spike: IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!
A Wolf: Aroo woo woo woo!
Crysania was walking out to investigate, along with Dandd – both pinching the bridges of their noses and groaning.
Spike: STOP! …IN THE NAME OF LOVE!
Crysania and Dandd Froze.
At their feet lay a multitude of bolts of silk, laid out in an organized fashion.
Dandd: What are you up to this time?
Spike: Taro Leaves! I was smokin’ in the boys room.
The wolf purrs favorably
A couple henchmen walked by, and saw the wolf
Henchman 2: Dood! Look at that!
Henchman 1: Something like a Shistavanen!
Spike and the Wolf shared some Absinthe
Nyx had returned from a hunt, and was unable to control her Tiger. The cat made a bee-line for the wolf. The two began playing.
The wolf ran off, with the tiger and Nyx in pursuit.
The henchmen wandered off too.
Dandd: So what are you doing with all this silk?
There was spike, sitting on a pile of empty mugs, furiously sewing.
Crysania: He’s sewing…a pile?
Dandd and Crysania stood there together, morbidly curious.
The wolf came back, and rhythmically growled in Spike’s ear.
Dandd: What did he say?
Spike: That he got the Eye of the Tiger.
Crysania winces.
Dandd: He was Hungry like the Wolf?
A very loud, happy bark came for a response.
Nyx came back and said she got a great shot of them in action.
Crysania and Dandd hadn’t a clue what she meant, but smiled and nodded anyway.
Spike: ITS DONE! 99 RED BALLOONS!
Crysania: …but there’s only one, and it’s only red in parts.
Spike holds a hand over one eye: Right! Fenrir, cancel the expedition to build a bridge between both Bloodstones at Hells Precipices.
Fenrir barks happily.
Jora: Now THAT is a respectable wolf!
Fenrir beams momentarily.
Crysania: So what is that mass of silk for?
Spike: To liven things up a bit around here!
Dandd: I’m going to regret this, but I have to ask: How would you have gotten up both peaks of Hells Precipices at the same time?
Spike: By Walking like an Egyptian
Fenrir: Aroo wOO woo!
Dandd groans
Spike: Gather some people, we’re going to play a game!
Jora: I bet ‘people’ doesn’t include Norn.
Spike: Easy, Brickhouse, you can play too!
Jora glares at Spike
Everyone disperses to find some people to play.
[some time later]
Spike: You just Keep me hangin’ on…
Fenrir growls along
Dandd: We’re back.
Spike: Alright…hmmm…
Spike Ponders the group.
Spike chooses La Chad and Chuck for captains.
Chuck: WHAT ARE THE RULES?!?!
Spike: YEAH! SHOUT! SHOUT! LET IT ALL OUT!
Chuck: OK!!!
Spike: WHAT?!
Chuck: OK!!!
Spike: WHAT?!
Chuck: YEAH!!!
Jora: Yes, Yes – Lil’ Chuck and the Eastagon Boys, that’s nice. What are the rules?
Spike: It’s like Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… Mass Hysteria!
Dandd: SPIKE!
Spike: Sorry…
Spike Smokes more Taro Leaves, displaying amazing lung capacity.
Spike: We’ll set markers. Simply Carry the ball across the line. The opposing team will try to physically prevent you from doing this. If you are knocked over, the opposing team gains the ball. Each team may throw the ball forward once per possession, but laterally or backwards as many times as they wish. Scoring gives the other team the ball at the half way marker. Whoever has the most points when we all get tired wins.
Jora grins: I like you more and more, human.
Spike: You were made for loving me, baby
Spike hands the silkball to Chuck: It’s dangerous to go alone, take this
Fenrir: Aroo woo woo woo!
Jora walks over and joins Chuck.
Spike walks over to La Chad
Dandd proclaims himself too old.
Fenrir to La Chad
Trixie to Chuck
Koss to Chuck
Lalandra to La Chad
Crysania to La Chad
Henchman 1 to Chuck
And so it went.
The Red vs Blue Silkball Game would commence, with Dandd keeping score, and throwing verbal taunts from time to time.
So The two sides got together, to discuss strategies and come up with insults, while Spike was setting markers and such. When he was done, Spike declared: Welcome to the Jungle!
Chuck’s Red team was given possession first.
Spike opened the taunting: Here I am! Rock me like a hurricane!
Koss grabbed the ball, threw it back to Chuck. Chuck threw it deep into Blue Territory, where Jora easily caught it above Lalandra.
Jora: You’re tall, but you’re not Norn
Lalandra was fired up, as was everyone else, and spectators grew to witness the spectacle.
Lalandra threw the ball back to La Chad, to threw it laterally to Spike. Spike was running along the edges of the pitch, and only had Jora to pass.
Jora attacked, and Spike activated Lightning Reflexes, blocked Jora’s attack and Scored.
Spike quickly went to down some more questionable liquids.
Jora: Oh ho human, so THAT’s how we’re going to play, eh?
Spike: Crazy, but that’s how it goes!
Koss again Threw it to Chuck, who got Buried by La Chad “The Super.”
The game was mostly even, back and forth, for some time.
Chuck passed to Jora, a Vengeful Lalandra and Fenrir in hot persuit.
Fenrir leapt, punched Jora square in the face, and as Jora was falling over, Lalandra stole the ball from her hands and ran it back to score.
Jora was FURIOUS.
Spike: That’s another brick in the wall, Brickhouse, That was the skill “Ragnarok” “Touch Skill. Causes Knock Down. No effect on Non-Norn Targets”
Lalandra giggled to a fuming Jora.
After a brief discussion, it was agreed this was the last possession. Chuck’s team could tie, or lose.
Koss to Chuck, Chuck to Jora, Jora threw it forward to Henchman 1, who was unmarked and running down the sideline.
Spike stared in horror as Crysania’s frozen hand melted to reveal a glowing white-blue. Crysania calmed herself, held out her glowing hand and simply said “no.”
The Forcechoked henchman, mere steps way from scoring, dropped the ball and then was allowed to collapse to the ground.
Spike muttered “you are the one”
Crysania, her hand frozen again, asked: “What?”
Spike: Nothing, nothing.
Trixie: Ok, NEXT time, we need some skill restrictions
Dandd: Yeah, most things in here don’t react well to forcechoke
Crysania giggled.
Jora: Enjoy this victory, we will play this game again.
Spike: I’m looking forward to it, Brickhouse.
Episode 28
30 Sep 10
Notes: The Silkball idea was solidified and played in a Silkball League later. The nickname ‘Brickhouse’ was an instant classic, and is still used today. This is but one of many musical-laden stories.
References: Europe [The Final Countdown], The Supremes [Stop In The Name of Love], Mötley Crüe [Smokin’ in the Boys Room], Survivor [Eye Of The Tiger], Duran Duran [Hungry Like The Wolf], Nena [99 Luft Balons], The Bangles [Walk Like An Egyptian], The Commodores [Brick House], The Supremes [You Keep Me Hangin On]. Tears For Fears [SHOUT], Lil’ Jon, Kiss [I Was Made For Loving You], Guns ‘n’ Roses [Welcome to the Jungle], The Scorpions [Rock You Like a Hurricane], Ozzy Osbourne [Crazy Train], The Matrix, Hunt for Red October, Guild History, Monty Python, Ghostbusters, Norse Mythology.
Heartseeker
Everyone was enjoying a beautiful day in Quinhalla. The sounds of birds chirping, bones crunching and Angel’s Musical filled the air. Nyx had organized a game of Lawno, and there was much fun to be had.
Dandd was deep in his chambers, behind Wiki, becoming frustrated at the periodic noise spikes.
Finally, he set his grail down and went out to investigate. He was never going to figure this out with all this racket.
Dandd came out to the field to see an amazing amount of people all gathered at once.
CRUNCH!
Nyx looked carefully: A-2!
LAWNO! Yelled Crysania, jubilant!
The crowd in attendance groaned, and drew different cards.
Dandd: What in the name of GRENTH is going on out here?
Spike attempted to speak, but fell backwards and began giggling incessantly.
Nyx grinned.
Nyx: This is Lawno.
Dandd raised an eyebrow.
Nyx: Yep, this is a 5×5 grid we have drawn out here. The henchmen are blindfolded and perform a featherfall onto the grid. Wherever their head rests, is the number that gets called. First to form a row, or column, wins.
Lalandra: But THIS ‘Legendary Collector of Lawn Ornaments’ here keeps winning!’
Crysania grins sheepishly.
Nyx continues: We’re also running betting ring. We have Trixie, Gwen, and Norgu here attempting to see who can raise a minion first.
Balreth counts his gold loudly.
Lalandra: Yeah…between HER predictive analysis, and HIS luck… /sigh
Dandd: …This I have to see.
Spike slips a note to Jora: “I lovvezz uuu”
The first blindfolded henchman jumps. A beautiful triple back-somersault to full extension. Crack!!!
Nyx yells: A-2!
Jora stands up and yells: WHAT IS LOVE?
Spike, falls backwards and yells: BABY DON’T HURT ME!
Jora grumbles angrily.
Dandd: So has anyone heard of the ‘Owner of the Heart?’
Spike: Iz it ronery?
Balreth quietly sings: I’m so ronery…so ronery…
Dandd: Owner of a lonely heart?
Nothing.
Crack!!!
Nyx yells: D-1
Dandd: perhaps the translation’s off.
Dandd pulls out a copy and looks again.
Dandd: How about ‘Seeker of the Heart?’
Nothing.
CRACK!!!
Nyx yells: C-5!
Crysania: Most of us are all Flameseekers, but I don’t know about Heartseekers…
CRACK!!!
Nyx yells: MISS!
Lalandra groans: So close! /pout
Lalandra: If ANYONE is a heart seeker, ask that stud over there.
Spike: YEAH! Oh wait. Not me…
Jora: Of course not you.
Spike: You’re just mad because you lost, brickhouse.
Jora growls angrily again.
So all eyes shifted to Balreth.
Dandd: Does this look familiar at all?
[Dandd shows the picture of Heartseeker, with TF Rune]
Balreth nods energetically and he and Dandd walk back towards Wiki.
CRACK!!!
Nyx yells: C-5!
Crysania yells: LAWNO!
Much groaning ensues.
Lalandra: Well, with Balreth gone, maybe we can win the Mesmer Races…
Episode 29
15 Oct 2010
Notes: The Silkball idea was solidified and played in a Silkball League later. The nickname ‘Brickhouse’ was an instant classic, and is still used today. This is but one of many musical-laden stories.
References: Europe [The Final Countdown], The Supremes [Stop In The Name of Love], Mötley Crüe [Smokin’ in the Boys Room], Survivor [Eye Of The Tiger], Duran Duran [Hungry Like The Wolf], Nena [99 Luft Balons], The Bangles [Walk Like An Egyptian], The Commodores [Brick House], The Supremes [You Keep Me Hangin On]. Tears For Fears [SHOUT], Lil’ Jon, Kiss [I Was Made For Loving You], Guns ‘n’ Roses [Welcome to the Jungle], The Scorpions [Rock You Like a Hurricane], Ozzy Osbourne [Crazy Train], The Matrix, Hunt for Red October, Guild History, Monty Python, Ghostbusters, Norse Mythology.
Spike the Queen
Spike was farming Ingots. He didn’t say why.
Dandd: Why are you doing this?
Spike: I’m not saying why.
Dandd, in retrospect, knew he should have seen that coming.
Dandd: Ok. How are you?
Spike: I’m the one they call Dr. Feelgood!
Jora: You don’t make me feelgood.
Spike: Well kickstart my heart.
Crysania: Are you going to occupy the Range for long?
Lalandra: Yeah, so much noise. I do live RIGHT THERE.
Lalandra points.
Spike: Girls girls girls!
Dandd clears his throat.
Spike: Well you can assemble all the biggest motley crue you like, I’m still not telling you.
Jora and Lalandra cross their arms menacingly, simultaneously.
Spike: Look. Don’t go away mad, just go away.
Crysania shrugs and just walks away.
Dandd follows.
Spike shrugs and map travels out.
[some time later]
Spike has a pile of ingots in the middle of the now unused range.
Spike gathers Sousuke, Zhed, Vekk, Gallagher and Koss.
Spike: Alright crue, I need you to go all Symphony of Destruction on these.
Much confusion ensues.
Spike explains.
For quite some time, the Nukers would immolate the ingots, and the warriors would pound them with hammers. Immolate, Hammer. Immolate, hammer. Spike’s ever crazed looks guided the product.
At last, it was done.
–
[next morning]
The guild was running about their business, when on the edge of Crysania’s tower, bellowed a strange figure.
Figure: HEAR ME, WAR PIGS!
Figure: STOP TURNING YOUR WAR MACHINE, SORCERERS OF DEATH’S CONSTRUCTION.
A crowd was beginning to gather.
Figure: I need someone to show me the things in life that I can’t find!
Crysania sighed painfully.
Dandd was on the same page as Crysania, and they left in separate directions.
Figure: I can’t see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind!
Nyx, Balreth, and Angel were preparing snacks for this inevitable good show.
Figure: Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry!
Crysania found Jora, and was bringing her back to the Fields.
Figure: Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal
Dandd seemed relieved with The Monk of Ink returned, Norn at her side.
Figure: And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state!
Jora grinned.
Figure: I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it’s too late!
Jora shouted: Who is this magnificent figure?
The figure emerged from the shadows of Crysania’s Tower.
Figure: I AM IRON MAN!!!
It all made sense now.
A crazed ranger, three pyromancers and two hammer warriors were forging, albeit poorly.
The Guild Played Along.
Lalandra: Is he paranoid?
Angel: Has he lost his mind?
Balreth looked at his ‘helm’: Can he see or is he blind?
Nyx looked at how much that suit of iron must weigh: Can he walk at all?
Crysania: Or if he moves will he fall?
Dandd yells: HYDRODYNAMICS!
“Iron Man” Shrieked and fell forwards, and landed in a way that made even the officers flinch.
The guild, almost in unison, shouted with glee: LAWNO!!!
Angel: Is he alive or dead?
Balreth: Has he thoughts within his head?
Jora: We’ll just pass him there
Lalandra yells: WHY SHOULD WE EVEN CARE?
The guild suppresses giggles and walks away.
…
Spike was just staring at the world… nobody wants him.
Spike mutters to himself: I’m just another one that bit the dust.
Spike went back to the range, and arranged his Iron Man outfit and laid on top of it, using a guild cape for a blanket.
Spike laid there, miserable.
Meteor Practitioners were blindfolding themselves and making bets to see if anyone could hit him.
Crysania finally came out and put a stop to it.
Crysania: Why are you laying on Iron Man?
Spike was muttering: Nothing really mattress…Nothing really mattress to me…
Crysania sat next to Spike.
Crysania: So what’s the matter with the Life of the Party?
Spike: This crazy little thing called love…
Crysania: oh?
Spike suddenly gained some energy: YES!
Spike: All these fat bottomed girls, and killer queens. It’s a kind of magic!
Crysania smiled.
Crysania: Sounds like you’re under pressure.
Spike: YES!
Crysania: So why don’t you try a Bohemian Rhapsody?
Spike sprung to his feet: Don’t stop me now!
Crysania: You are the Champion!
Spike grinned.
Spike: You’re my best friend.
Crysania: What about Dandd.
Spike: Him too.
Spike thinks a minute.
Spike: I’m just going to go be a Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy.
The other girls come to help.
Nyx: Are you ready?
Spike: Ready Freddy!
Jora: Be careful, We Will Rock You.
Angel and Lalandra smile.
Spike, rejuvenated, shouts: Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight, Brickhouse.
Even Jora couldn’t help giggling.
In a flash Spike downed a couple Vials of Absinthe, tied the Guild Cape back on, and ran away Triumphantly.
Angel: There he goes, running as fast as he can.
Lalandra: Iron Man Lives Again!
Everyone had a good laugh, and helped move the Iron Man Suit into Wiki, such a unique set of armor deserved its own little Monument in Quinhalla.
Episode 30
30 Oct 10
Notes: We would later find out that Spike’s Iron Man Suit would move to Balreth’s Basement.
References: Motley Crue [Dr. Feelgood, Kickstart My Heart, Girls Girls Girls, Don’t Go Away Mad], Megadeth [Symphony of Destruction], Black Sabbath [War Pigs, Paranoid, Iron Man], Queen [Bohemian Rhapsody, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Fat Bottomed Girls, Killer Queen, It’s a Kind of Magic, Under Pressure, We are the Champions, You’re My Best Friend, Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, We Will Rock You], Spinal Tap [Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight]
The Cold November Rain
The Iron Man plan had failed. Spike was thinking, not very hard, about his next move. In his travels, Spike heard about a way to change people, control people, achieve new levels of drunkenness. Spike was determined to get this to rank 12. Spike was determined to become an Alchemist!
Since it is Spike, after all, no one really paid any attention to him and a bunch of henchmen digging underneath Death Valley. Spike did remark to himself that it is harder to find good henchmen these days, with this whole Factions thing and all.
Spike gathered ingredients from far and wide to put in his Alchemy Lab. He even ‘reclaimed’ Mad King Thorn’s cauldron before his servants put it back in…wherever they put it in between Halloween Festivals. He also gathered several cookbooks from wives and libraries the world over.
When it was over, Spike’s Lab was situated beneath Crysania’s Tower, dug diagonally down from Death Valley. In fact the warmth of the Cauldron rose to heat the ground directly under Dandd’s bedroom, which made Dandd sleep harder – and thus snore louder, much to Balreth’s irritation in the neighboring Suite.
Spike, for good measure, employed some of Oola’s Security Leftovers along the path between the Exit and his Lab.
Spike wanted to start off easy, work his way into an Inexhaustible Inebriating Imbibry.
Spike marveled at his cavernous new home, and was promptly tackled by flailing henchmen.
Spike: What in the name of Eddie Van Halen was that for?
Henchman 1: We have a problem, sir…
Spike rubs the back of his head: Owww… You Really Got Me with that one.
Henchman 1: We dug the passage way too steep sir.
Spike: I got here just fine.
Spike flexes.
Henchman 1: It’s turning to mud. We’re just slipping down the path. Our pickaxes are just leaving skid marks along the path, but not really slowing us down enough.
Spike’s eyes widen.
Spike: THAT IS WHAT IT’S CALLED!
Henchman 1: What?
Spike: Skid Row! You will travel from Death Valley, along Skid Row, to My Lab.
Henchman 1: That’s nice, sir, do you want to just grind down the tools every time anyone comes down here?
Spike: No… You can’t be king of the world if you’re slave to the grind.
Henchman 1: What is your suggestion?
Spike: Hmm.. Try: going down to Panama, look for an Eruption, then Jump up there and Dance the Night Away.
Henchman 1 groans: You’re completely wasted, aren’t you?
Spike: I’m Hot for Teacher.
Henchman 1 sighs: I’ll go ask Crysania.
Spike turns to his first selected recipe.
Spike: Let us see here: Essence of a Black Hole Sun, A Tempered Glass Vial, a Vial of Ink, and the Blood of a Level 1 Creature: Type O Negative.
Spike sighs: Goddamn specific.
It was at that point that avatars of five gods appeared in Spike’s Lab, demanding to know which god to damn that.
Spike was frantically opening Trick or Treat bags for more things to drink.
Spike: Oh God, I’m Dead Again…
WHICH GOD?! The voices boomed throughout the laboratory.
Spike closed his eyes and pointed randomly.
Grenth: Very Well. I Damn That.
…and they were gone. Just like that.
Spike was in the fetal position, in disbelief, muttering: “Oh my God, they killed Spikey”
Dandd: You Bastard!
Crysania: I didn’t even make my move yet!
Dandd: Sorry…I…
Crysania: Checkmate.
Dandd: @#$%ING NEWTYPES!
Crysania grins.
Spike had gathered some money and a bag of holding and set off.
The vials were easy: the Traders in Wiki could take care of those.
Spike: The Essence of a Black Hole Sun…
Spike walked over to look at the World Maps. Along the way he tripped over an imaginary tankard of Gnomeflinger Punch and face-planted a picnic-table bench. The force broke the bench and catapulted the book laying on the opposite side into the air and across to the Cafeteria section, where it smacked a necromancer henchman in the back of his head, causing the henchman to stab himself in the back of the throat with his steak knife and died at the table. The other henchmen, unaffected, muttered something about Necrolepsy and finished their meals.
When Spike regained consciousness, he thought about how much that sucked. Then he ate a ‘couple’ rock candies and was alright.
Spike: Sucked! That’s it!
Spike map travelled to the vortex.
After a bit of pondering, and trying to subtly be able to see up the skirts of a couple dancing dervishes, he entered the vortex.
On the other side, Spike looked around, and…nothing.
Spike was running low on ‘consumables,’ which is a mortal sin to Clan Baltrihper.
Just randomly, Spike took out his glass vial and pointed the open end at the Vortex.
Spike then got a quest log update.
Spike rifled around his bag of holding and hit the button: “That was easy.”
Spike thought about level 1 creatures, and decided to wander around Istan for a bit.
Spike left the Astalarium, and was walking out to find his mark.
Spike: Hmm, I wonder which one is the Level-
Spike: BUTTERFLY!
Spike got distracted.
Spike ran, jumped, pounced, pranced, and did his best to catch the butterfly but ended up falling off of a cliff.
Spike landed on a Level 1 creature, killing it on impact.
Spike shrugged and scooped up some of the blood starting to drain into the ground.
Sure enough, quest update.
Spike, excited, map travelled back to Quinhalla.
Spike grabbed a piece of wood and surfed down the Mud of Skid Row.
Spike: COWABUNGA DOOD!
Spike leapt off the wood, tumbled along the ground for a bit, and sprung back to his feet with ease.
Spike: What were those henchmen bitching about anyway?
Spike: Really?
Spike: Well what did you say?
Spike: what did SHE say?
Spike: what did YOU say?
Spike: nuh-uh!
Spike: wow…
Spike: What? Ok. Later!
Crysania, who had just soared down on the Aion wings has learned by now not to question who he talks to.
Spike didn’t even notice, he’s engrossed in his work.
Spike threw in his ingredients into the cauldron, and then realized he didn’t have anything to retrieve the new product.
Crysania handed him a pair of large tongs.
Spike: Thank yo- AAAAHH!!!
Spike propelled himself clear over the cauldron and fell over the far side.
Spike: Don’t DO that!
Spike mutters about ‘light on her feet’ as she just grins.
Spike takes the tongs and pulls out a potion.
Crysania stares intensely.
Spike: It’s kind of hard to see…
Crysania: Yeah, that’s dark to a whole new level.
Spike: So what am I going to call this.
Only a momentary pause –
Crysania: Black No. 1 ?
Spike grins, from ear to ear.
Spike: Who should I use this on?
Crysania: I’m getting tangled in that mess, Everybody Dies in that one.
Spike: Oh, come on – You’re my Cinnamon Girl!
Crysania: I’m not even your Druidess…
Spike: Ooh, burn.
Then the inspiration struck.
Spike: I’m going to use this on-
Crysania: Angel. She’s with-
Spike: STOP THAT!
So they leave the guild hall, and come back in, as no exit has been built yet.
Spike doesn’t take but two steps then this loud Crack and a painful sensation find him.
Trixie: WHAT IS THAT?!
Spike, with a whip around his arm, was holding the Vial of Black No. 1 in his hand.
Trixie: I MUST have that!
Spike sighs: It’s NEVER enough…
So Trixie takes the Vial of Black No. 1 back to Hexico, her office, and lovingly dies her ‘evening’ dress.
While Spike didn’t get to play a joke on anyone, word of what he did spread – and fast.
People from all over were bargaining with Quin Officers to trade large quantities of consumables for Vials of Black No. 1.
Spike was literally rolling in absinthe…
However, something troubling was brewing. Crysania could feel it, but couldn’t pinpoint it.
Crysania was walking around Quinhalla, absorbing as much as she could wherever she went.
Gwen and Jora both noticed and agreed to pay attention to the strangely attentive guild leader.
Then it happened. In the Fields there was a henchman corpse lying there, with a burned palm in his chest.
It wasn’t a forcechoke wound, a sniper wound, a pet wound – this was a technique of someone different.
Crysania played it cool, but it happened again outside of the Henchman Quarters, and just outside the Main Gate.
As the corpses stacked up, a pattern began to establish itself. All were killed with a palm technique, and all had on armor dyed with Black No. 1.
Crysania had an idea, and waited for everyone to retire to their quarters and tried to sneak out.
Crysania made it up, over the wall, and to the forest beyond the wall.
Crysania was travelling slowly, keeping her guard up.
Gwen and Jora were up in the Hall of Heroes and saw what had happened, and decided to follow.
Gwen and Jora, not feeling what Crysania felt, were catching up quickly and gave their position away.
A voice, definitively Male, came from the forest: I see you. Guns and Roses won’t stop me.
Jora flexed instinctively, and Gwen clutched her Rose Focus tighter.
There was a movement, it was too fast for them.
A calm statement: Live and Let Die!
The girls realized the male was behind them, too late. They laid there, burning palm marks on their backs, unable to help or heal. Someone would come for them eventually.
Crysania heard the screams, and pressed on quicker. She had to make it to Paradise City and quickly.
She had made it: the ruins of The Jungle Pub, The Dead Horse Inn and The Sweet Child Shoppe still easily recognizable.
Crysania had navigated the city from muscle memory, and came to the door.
Crysania stared at it for a moment; one of the symbols had to stir a memory.
Crysania remembered! She tapped the clouds exactly three times: Knock, Knock, Knocking on Heaven’s Door. The Door Opened.
Crysania was certain now.
The second door was opened for her, and in this chamber stood the lone male figure.
Figure: It was a beautiful October Rust this year, no?
Crysania: Now it’s a Cold November…Rain.
Rain removed his hood.
Crysania: so it IS you! Veritas Rain Anchorwind.
Rain: I see you’re cursed with the Grenth Ink too.
Crysania: Nope, Just regular black.
Rain: I would say the same thing too if I was in your position.
Crysania puts blue paint on half her face.
Rain: You used to be so pure, but it’s hard to hold a candle in the cold November
Crysania lunged: RAIN!!!
Crysania’s attack missed.
So did Rain’s.
Back and forth they missed.
Rain: Your blood is like ice, one look could kill…
Crysania: I’m NOT poison!
Rain: It’s running through your veins!
More misses, neither showing signs of fatique.
Spike, who’s need to urinate made him stumble on Jora and Gwen, caught up with the girls at his side.
All three stared in disbelief.
Miss after miss, their fighting styles remarkably similar.
Gwen was going to cast hexes on Rain, which alerted both combatants to the presence of the other three.
Rain flew by Crysania to dispatch the interference.
Gwen: EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN!
Rain’s palm started glowing: DDDAAARRRKKKNNEEESSS!!!
Crysania managed to appear between Gwen and Rain, her palm glowing as well: SSSSSHHHIIINNNNIINNGGGG!!
Rain and Crysania: FFFFIIINNNGGGEEERRRR!
The force of the two master Smiting Monks colliding like that knocked over the three observers and caused significant structural damage to the room they were in.
Both were running low on energy, neither wanting to give up.
Gwen had recovered and was about to try again when Crysania knocked her over with a Signet of Judgment.
Rain immediately stopped.
Rain: …So you aren’t cursed…
Crysania: …Nope…
Spike: I think someone hit me with an Unskinny AND a Blitzkrieg Bop right to the head.
Rain chuckled.
Rain: So what are you doing here?
Spike: don’t need nothing but a good time!
Rain leans towards Crysania: Is he always like that?
Crysania: Yep. He’s the one making the Dye too.
Rain sighs.
Jora: So who is he?
Crysania grins: He’s our new Smiting Prayers Instructor
Rain: What?
Crysania took the opportunity: Signet of Judgment!
Rain got knocked over.
Crysania was Palm Striking and Stonesoul Striking Rain right in the chest.
Rain, having been momentarily beaten, sighs: Fine. You know, you’re still the dreamer.
Spike: I ran away high!
Jora: You’ll never be left all alone
Spike: brickhouse…
Jora whispers: this never happened
Rain: I’m on the way… I’m on my way
All: HOME SWEET HOME!
Crysania: Well Krewe, Let’s take a Ride on the Wild Side with this Live Wire.
And so the Call of the Hoolequin received a new instructor: Veritas Rain Anchorwind, Smiting Monk.
Episode 31
2 Nov 10
Notes: Mad King Thorn’s servants did end up taking their Cauldron back. Balreth would quietly install non-volatile floor heaters in his Fortress later on. No one has yet found an Inexhaustible Inebriating Imbibry, but we have found a few Incorrigible Ale-Hounds. Little known fact, Mesmers have an affinity for Whips. Trixie had the Hexican, and later own Simon would obtain the Auroralasher. “Guns and Roses” was the name given to the tag-team of Gwen and Jora. Rain proved to be too immature, and then brooding, to be a Hoolequin Regular. He pops up now and then.
References: Van Halen [You’ve Really Got Me, Panama, Eruption, Jump, Dance the Night Away, Hot for Teacher], Skid Row [Slave to the Grind], Soundgarden [Black Hole Sun], Type O Negative [Black No. 1, Dead Again, Everybody Dies, Cinnamon Girl, Be My Druidess, Never Enough, October Rust], Guns and Roses [Live and Let Die, Paradise City, Welcome to the Jungle, Dead Horse, Sweet Child of Mine, Heaven’s Door, November Rain], Alice Cooper [Poison], Poison [Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Unskinny Bop, Nothin’ But a Good Time], The Ramones [Blitzkrieg Bop], Motley Crue [Home Sweet Home, Wild Side, Live Wire], South Park, Guild History, Dragonlance, Staples’ Easy Button, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mobile Fighter G Gundam.
Janie and the QWF
There was a lot of tension around Quinhalla. This led to some practical jokes, some fights, and a mixed mood overall.
Nyx, a part of it, walked past Vekk in the cafeteria. She, very clearly, made a comment about wishing someone was smart enough to solve a Golem problem.
Vekk perked up: Golem problem?
Nyx: Yeah, but I need someone talented. Sorry.
Vekk launched from the picnic bench, although there wasn’t much of a difference.
Vekk: Now Listen here bookah!
Nyx cut him off.
Nyx: Are you an Aerosmith?
Vekk became skeptical.
Vekk: You mean Aeromancer?
Nyx: See? I told you I needed someone TALENTED.
Vekk: What the @#$% is an Aerosmith.
Nyx: An Aerosmith is a prestige Aeromancer. They not only Invoke Lightning, but Create and Control it on large scales.
Vekk liked what he heard.
Nyx talked quieter…
Nyx: Aerosmiths are Amazing. They are Angels who have What It Takes. They’re Livin’ On The Edge and feel a Sweet Emotion. They can be Cryin’ or Crazy, Jaded or a little Pink, but they Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing.
Vekk: I can do that!
Nyx: Are you sure? Aerosmiths aren’t the Same Old Song and Dance.
Vekk: Bah! Just you wait, I’ll have this Golem up and running in no time at all.
Nyx: Well Walk this Way.
Vekk grabbed a couple more bites off his tray real quick and scurried off.
Vekk followed Nyx out to her menagerie, and in the middle of it was a deactivated golem, heavily modified.
Nyx: This is Janie.
Vekk: Dood looks like a Lady…
Vekk: WOW! Janie’s got a gun!
Vekk admires the golem-sized firearm.
Vekk: This is impressive Bookah, where did you get it?
Nyx: I made it.
Vekk stared at Nyx in disbelief.
Nyx: I foraged scrap parts and materials and such. I’m actually pretty handy with machinery and welding and stuff.
Vekk stared in amazement that a Human was capable of such.
Vekk moved to the defunct power core.
Vekk: This Ether Crystal Elevator needs some love.
Nyx threw a Raptor Bone for this big shaggy dog.
Vekk: A ha! There is a Hole on My Soul.
Nyx looked puzzled.
Vekk: Sorry, Asuran Slang. The Crystal Amplification Device is punctured, it can’t hold the power let alone amplify it.
Nyx: Can you fix it?
Vekk walks forward only to be nearly trampled by a dog with a raptor bone.
Vekk: We need a replacement.
A brief pause.
Vekk: and after I do this, I’m stealing ‘Janie.’
Georgia Growled.
Nyx: Dream On!
The three departed for Oola’s Lab in hopes to find a replacement.
–
Meanwhile, in the Gym, an elevated square has been constructed and roped off. Spike, in another one of his fun-boosting ideas, decided to have a Quin Wrestling Federation [QWF] event. The rules were simple: two to a team,
only one in the ring at once, and the team loses when a member has been removed from the ring.
The crowd in the gym was immense.
Spike was in the middle to form the brackets. Parchment #1 was pulled.
Spike: Token and Galard – TEAM PALADIN!!!
The crowd cheers
#2 pulled, Spike: Volusja and Lalandra – THE CORVUS CONNECTION!!!
/cheer
#3, Spike: Achi and The Stabbith Day – Grey Sabbath!!!
/cheer
#4, Spike: Crysania and Rain – Blue November!!!
Henchman 1: BECAUSE MOST THINGS IN HERE DO NOT REACT WELL TO FORCECHOKE!
/cheer louder
#5, Spike: Jora and Gwen – Guns and Roses!!!
/cheer
#6, Chuck and La Chad – Men in Tunics!!!
/cheer
#7, Angel and Balreth – Dearheartseekers!!!
/cheer
#8, Spike: …and Finally, #8, Spike and Dandd – The Advanced Team!!!
/cheer
Spike: Matches will start in two hours, so please leave the gym but don’t go far!
Most of everyone headed towards the nearby Range.
Crysania, grinning: Remind me to tag you in once in a while, eh?
Rain: @#$% off, what makes you think YOU’LL be the lead?
Crysania: …because I want to win.
Rain stopped.
Rain: You think I’m inferior to YOU?
Crysania sighed.
Rain: You didn’t actually beat me in Paradise City, you know.
Crysania waited for the rest of it.
Rain: You had to have the help of Gwen to distract me.
Crysania knew this wasn’t worth it, and started to walk away.
Rain: Sure, turn your back on me. It’s a wonder how you’re guild leader at all.
At that moment, most people backed away carefully.
Crysania turned to face Rain.
Crysania: You want to find out why?
Rain threw his hooded garment down.
Rain: I would LOVE to.
Crysania took off her pretty pink Norn PJs and set them down near Lalandra, Dandd, and Balreth.
Lalandra: Don’t get too burned out.
Balreth: Yeah, we’ve got monks to toss soon.
Crysania smiled.
So their duel, Part II, started. Just like before, a lot of misses and speed.
Trixie leaned over to Lalandra: I hope nothing happens to Rain, he’s SO hot.
Lalandra looked at Balreth, who shrugged.
As a bit of fatigue sets in, hits start landing.
Rain hits Crysania in the abdomen, then in the back – sending her to the ground.
Rain, panting: Maybe I’LL take over and turn this into a REAL guild.
Crysania, calmer than before, stands back up and just shakes her head.
Jora, Gwen, and Spike quietly sit down.
Rain: You’re starting to piss me off. Admit defeat!
Rain’s hand begins glowing.
Rain: This hand of mine is burning RED!
Crysania’s Ice melts.
Crysania: Its loud roar tells me to grasp VICTORY!
Rain: DARKNESS!
Crysania: SHINING!
Rain and Crysania: FINGER!
Again, the Impact knocks over everyone in attendance.
Dandd quickly realizes why the other three sat down beforehand.
Rain: WHY ARE YOU SO CALM?!
Rain’s attack failed and he retreated some space.
Crysania: Are you done yet? I’m sure the matches will start soon.
Rain became enraged
Rain: You will not Beat ME!
Both of Rain’s hands start glowing.
Balreth leans over to Lalandra: I would’ve used ‘You Move Like a Dwarf’ right now, stop whatever he’s casting.
Lalandra giggles.
Rain: DWAYNA’S ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE!!!
Crysania remains motionless.
Rain turns towards Crysania’s Tower, and everyone standing in front of it.
Rain: SEKI HA TEN KYO KEN!!!
Angel leans in, seemingly not concerned at imminent death: What is that?
Dandd, equally not concerned: They both have a large Canthan Background.
Lalandra and Balreth nod enthusiastically.
Crysania charges as quick as she can, to catch the ball of dark energy.
Crysania catches it, and it pushes her back several body lengths.
Most everyone, now, is too stunned to move, they can only stare as this little monk is trying to handle his large ball of energy.
The struggle lasts moment longer.
Crysania, screaming: NOT IN THE GUILD HALL!!!
Crysania redirects the energy blast upwards and away from the Guild Hall.
Crysania summons all of her spirits.
Rain stands there, fear written all over his face.
The first spiritspike hits him, and brings him back to the present.
Rain dodges the next volley, and the one after that.
Rain sees the fatigued Crysania but can’t get close to her.
The spirits go away, and Rain charges in. Rain gets closer to Crysania, when she stops pretending to be vulnerable and launches another strike.
Trixie yells ‘NO!!’ and manages to take Rain off of his feet with her Whip as Crysania soars harmlessly over his falling body.
Then everything changed.
Clouds gathered overhead, the Pupils in Crysania’s eyes could no longer be seen. Her hands glowed more than usual and a visible aura erupted around her.
Lalandra leaned over to Balreth: Told you she could go Super Saiyan.
Balreth reaches in his pouch and hands Lalandra 5 Platinum.
Rain sat there, horrified, staring at a Clan mate he now hardly recognized.
Trixie ran infront of him.
Trixie: That’s Enou-
Trixie was grasping at her neck, helplessly. Her body was lifted off of the ground, which gave Spike an awesome view of ‘other’ things that were died with Black No. 1. Spike wondered why you would bother using such an expensive dye on a garment so thin and small.
Crysania: KA…
Lalandra went pale.
Crysania: ME…
Dandd knew this from somewhere…
Crysania: HA…
Balreth recognized it himself.
Crysania: ME…
Everyone hit the deck, instinctively
Crysania: RAY OF MOTHER@#$%ING JUDGMENT.
The clouds parted, and the beam of light bathed a suspended Trixie. The screams of burning pain did not last long. As the light faded, so did the cloud cover and Crysania’s appearance returned to normal.
Trixie’s corpse was released to fall and quickly collected and brought to the Clinic.
Rain, practically frozen with fear: Ok…uhhh…you…you can lead!
Crysania, smiling again: Thanks! I’ll be sure to tag you in too.
Dandd leaned to Balreth: I guess for Smiting Monks, it pays to be Holier Than Thou.
Spike thanked Crysania for the ‘entertaining show.’
Rain: I don’t get it! How did my Technique lose? I ALWAYS win!
Crysania looked at Dandd, Balreth, then back at Rain: I guess you didn’t read Page 31.
Highfives around.
Everyone heads back towards the gym, getting ready for some QWF action.
Rain: What was that?
Dandd: That was the Forcechoke. A little worse than normal, I must admit.
Rain: Wow…
Angel turns around and paralyzes him through rapid cavity strikes and soothing song.
Lalandra proceeds to drop grenades, use hammers, hexes, shouts, and such all in rapid succession.
The barely-alive Rain stared at the girls: How did you? …what? The…you can’t be that many professions all at once!
Dandd: Lalandra? She can switch too rapidly to keep up with, so don’t try.
Rain: NO! I won’t be taken that easily.
Then came the large red arrow.
Everyone together: SNIPPY SNAP!
Rain: DAMN IT! I’ve died more times today than… wait. What just happened?
Dandd: THAT was sniper.
Rain, knocked down a peg or two: You guys are MONSTERS!
Crysania: That’s why We’re officers, and you aren’t.
Rain nods, with a newfound sense of enlightenment.
The group took no more than a few steps when Trixie came around from the other side of the Tower.
Trixie: Look, I just want to say-
At that moment, an ear-piercing explosion went off in the direction of the Menagerie. The group didn’t have time to react. The corpse of Trixie was instantaneously flung, at high speed, across Quinhalla. Nyx came running out, Georgia following quickly.
Nyx: Sorry! We were fixing Janie, and her gun went off.
Vekk came out too.
Vekk: I am Riding the Lightning, but I can’t charge the Battery Through the Never. I wish I could just Hit the Light, but the Metallica Couplings are going to haunt me All Nightmare Long, it’s Sad But True. That gun though, That’s Some Kind of Monster For Whom The Bell Tolls. I got Whiplash just being near it. Even if I do get it, it may just One who tries to Seek and Destroy Wherever It May Roam. It won’t be the Golem That Failed under my watch. I am the Aerosmith!
Rain stared in horror, but the officers just laughed.
Vekk: What’s the matter Bookah? You look like The Unforgiven.
Rain: You’re all so calm about this…
Crysania: Just another day in Quinhalla, Let’s GO!
–
So the QWF Matches Began.
In the first match up, Team Paladin was beaten by The Corvus Connection after Galard proved he was just too rusty to keep up with Lalandra.
The second match up showed that not even Achi and the Stabbith Day could keep up with Crysania and Rain. It was hard to follow with all the speed, bodies flying everywhere.
The third match ended very quickly when Jora almost killed La Chad for comments about her being more of a man than he is.
The fourth match ended as Angel convinced Spike that he shouldn’t hurt someone so cute. It worked, and Spike just left.
In the fifth match, Lalandra capitalized on Rain’s lack of focus and proved that versatility has a place in combat again.
In the sixth match, Angel’s charm did not work against an equally cute Gwen and was eventually beaten.
In the finals, a Lalandra still vividly remembering the embarrassment of Silkball worked hard to ensure another defeat would not be suffered. While Volusja and Jora were evenly matched, Lalandra beat Gwen in a wildly celebrated final.
The Corvus Connection of Volusja and Lalandra won the first QWF Tournament. Nyx had a guardian Golem for her Menagerie, equipped with custom firearms. Vekk proudly proclaimed himself ‘The Aerosmith.’
Rain, during the final match, leaned over to Crysania: What can you tell me about Lalandra? She’s HOT!
Trixie, recently revived, hears Rain and runs away very sad and jealous. During her run, she gets hit in the side of the head, then tackled, by a Raptor Bone and a Large Dog.
Spike leans in: She’s got nothing on Brickhouse.
Rain: You want to make something of it?
Spike: Maybe I do!
Crysania: Boys, save it for the next tournament. Maybe we’ll have a ‘Mortal Kombat’ tournament next time.
As Rain and Spike glare at each other, Dandd, and Balreth just burst out laughing.
Crysania mutters: …there are no rivals like friends…
–Aftermath–
Henchman 1: Dandd, how did you know they had a Canthan background?
Dandd: I’ve known Crysania and Rain since they were very little.
Henchman 1: Really?
Dandd: I knew Balreth back when he was making pizza too.
Henchman 1: What’s Pizza?
Dandd: Nevermind.
[Dandd Walks Away]
Episode 32
5 Nov 10
Notes: Like Lalandra, many Asura are spiteful. Nyx is good with her hands, most Necros/Rangers are. Enter the Raptor Bone! This isn’t the last we’ll see of Dearheart. Crysania is usually easy going, but takes the guild pretty seriously. Thankfully, Monk Tossing never caught on. While the presence of the Neveah Clan marks the beginning of the Factions, Trixie, Rain and Spike complicated matters. ‘SuperSania’ is the most powerful being known to the Quin, and it’s never pretty.
References: Aerosmith [Angels, What It Takes, Livin’ On The Edge, Sweet Emotion, Cryin’, Crazy, Jaded, Pink, Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing, Same Old Song and Dance, Walk this Way, Janie’s Got a Gun, Dude Looks Like a Lady, Hole In my Soul, Dream On], Metallica [Holier Than Thou, Ride the Lightning, Battery, Through the Never, Hit the Lights, All Nightmare Long, Sad But True, Some Kind of Monster, For Whom The Bell Tolls, Whiplash, One, Seek and Destroy, Wherever It May Roam, God That Failed, The Unforgiven,] Guild History, Mobile Fighter G Gundam, Dragon Ball Z, D&D, Mortal Kombat.
The Crys’ Nest
Jora was in Crysania’s tower with Balreth, Nyx, and Lalandra. Crysania was leading a planning session into the Far Shiverpeaks.
[Spike’s voice is heard in the distance]
Crysania: So we should probably start in Sifhalla and head-
Spike: Jora-et, Jora-et, Where for art thou Jora-et?
Balreth giggles, Jora Groans.
Jora: Excuse me.
Jora leans out the Crys’ Nest [Featherfall Spot]: WHAT?!
Spike: Love Me Tender, Love Me True!
Jora looks back at the officers: Excuse me for a second.
Jora heads down the stairs.
All the officers gather at the Crys’ Nest in curiosity.
Jora walks out towards Spike, axe in hand.
Spike: uhh.. Brickhouse…? What’s with the Axe?
Jora: I’m going to ELVISERATE you!
Spike panics and starts running, Jora gives chase.
Lalandra: we CAN’T miss this. GO GO GO!
Lalandra starts pushing everyone out the Crys’ Nest.
Crysania Dives off voluntarily.
Balreth resists: ARE YOU CRAZY?!
Nyx pushes too.
Out The Crys’ Nest they go.
All the officers are now plummeting towards the fields, when Crysania opens her Aion Wings and glides towards Jora. Shortly after, Nyx and Lalandra do the same.
Balreth, falling, murmurs to himself: …not good.
Crunch.
Henchman 1: Lawno!
Eventually, the girls gave up the search having found nothing.
On the way back, they found Balreth still in the Fields talking to Fenrir. Fenrir was ‘talking’ back as well.
Lalandra: Yo! Dog Whisperer, we’re going to try this again.
Balreth grumbles a bit, but they all head back to the Tower to plan the assault.
Episode 33
8 Nov 10
Notes: Nyx may be the Friend Marquise, but Balreth’s good with the Canines too. The Crow’s Nest is an elevated platform on a ship from which to observe.
References: William Shakespeare [Romeo and Juliet], Elvis [Love Me Tender].
Romance of the Three Factions
It was quiet in Quinhalla. Around it, however, was bustling with activity.
Crysania, standing in her tower: You know? It used to be a Full House here.
Dandd nods, sadly.
Crysania: Now everyone seems to be Perfect Strangers. Gimme a Break!
Dandd nods again.
Crysania: Where are our Family Ties?
Dandd: Indeed, Family Matters.
Crysania: Yes! I knew there would be some Growing Pains, but this Mystery Science Theater is Out of This World!
Dandd: A Quantum Leap?
Crysania: Yes! The Bare Essence to all this is no Small Wonder.
Dandd: Oh?
Crysania: Spike, Rain, and Angel changed the dynamic of this place.
Dandd awaited the rest.
Crysania: It was a Different World before them. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but this is no Unsolved Mystery. I mean, we have a War of the Worlds out there! This Wind of War is Too Close for Comfort. The rivalry between Spike, Rain, and Balreth as to who has the best girl is really gotten out of hand.
Dandd sighed: I sense a Mission Impossible coming.
Crysania: Yep. A Tour of Duty is required! This Romance of the Three Factions must stop!
Dandd: Three’s a Crowd?
Crysania: Code Red?
Dandd: Now I’m Thirsty…
A brief chuckle.
Dandd: Ok, so how do we break the stalemate? Execute Order 66?
Dandd could feel the air twitch about him.
Dandd: How about not…
Dandd: So we have Spike and Jora, who are an immensely popular team.
Crysania: Yeah, the numbers would get ugly, but it would be an Amazing Story.
Dandd: Then we have Rain and Lalandra.
Crysania: Nothing like going where everybody knows my name.
Dandd: Cheers. I mean… and third we have Balreth and Angel. The only faction with Two Officers.
Crysania: Angel’s not ready for this scale yet, not exactly Head of the Class.
Dandd: True, but they have the best facility. The Order of the Arrow has ‘turtled’ up pretty well and breaking in would be Double Trouble.
Crysania: Good thing I’m Crazy like a Fox.
Dandd sighed. He knew it to be true.
Dandd: So, you are heading out soon?
Crysania shook her head.
Crysania: I want to put an end to this, but at the same time I’m only vaguely involved. You and I are in a Twilight Zone here, in the middle of these three.
Dandd: I would rather not record Tales from the Crypt. I like my library.
Crysania paused, sighed, then whispered: Code ALF
Dandd: Really?
Crysania nodded.
Dandd understood. He grabbed some henchman and went off.
In the Heat of the Night, Crysania would have to Moonlight as some sort of MacGyver and invent a solution on the spot.
Crysania found Nyx and filled her in on the news. She nodded and headed off too.
“Together We Stand” thought Crysania.
“These Wizards and Warriors aren’t going to be easy, but sometimes they are the Beauty, and sometimes they are the Beast. It’s a Living…” thought Crysania.
Dandd found Crysania: You are going to be the Greatest Hoolequin Hero.
Crysania slapped him on the arm: Stop with this dramatic crap. I’ll be fine. ALF.
Dandd: I know, I know.
Dandd shuffles off, quickly.
Crysania started to head off, but it was too late.
Roars on the disputed border of Spike and The Arrow’s borders erupted, and the sounds of battle quickly followed.
Crysania moved-out quickly.
Spike’s superior numbers were pushing back men into the Fortress of the Arrow.
Rain saw that Spike’s side was winning, and sent many of his men to attack Spike’s camp.
Angel came out of her fortress and started singing. The Siren call affected many of Spike’s men and they wandered towards her, helpless to the slaughter.
Jora saw Rain’s forces approach and was enraged at the opportunistic nature of the move. She was so enraged, that she reminded everyone that the Curse of the Bear HAD in fact been lifted. Her transformed strength led the defenses and pushed Rain’s men back.
Spike’s men began to fire longbow shots at Angel, and one of them grazed her arm – Causing Balreth to join the fight. Balreth was firing back with Sniper but was finding he simply could not cast the spell fast enough to deal with them. Balreth was last seen grabbing his Norn axe and heading into the fray.
Rain, upon receiving reports that Balreth showed himself, departed to take down his elder rival.
Spike heard that Rain AND Balreth were out, so he grabbed his Bow and Fenrir and headed off.
The battle was amazing. The Walls of Quinhalla were being torn down by three rival factions – none gaining a large advantage other the others.
The Women ensured not a soul got anywhere near the capital of their territory. Their respective ferocities were to be admired.
The three ‘generals’ had found each other. No words were shared, and were all too busy killing each other’s henchmen. Finally, they agreed to move the fight to the Range – No henchmen.
There was no warm-up period. There were arrows, fists, and fire thrown everywhere. The Battle raged on, and they gradually moved towards the Menagerie.
Nyx tried to stop them, but they would not listen. Nyx quickened her pace, resuming her previous task.
They moved towards Death Valley, eventually at the Skid Row entrance.
Balreth was going to knock Rain down Skid Row and handle Spike one-on-one.
Balreth activated blazing speed and shoulder blocked Rain, down the hole. Spike, though, had seen such a tactic coming and very quickly knocked Balreth in afterwards.
Then Spike went pale, for Balreth tumbled down the brief Skid Row and when his enchantment expired he set Rain on fire. The problem, though, is that Balreth also ignited the fumes in Spike’s Alchemy Lab. The resulting explosion leveled the Library, and also knocked over Crysania’s Tower – onto The Fortress of the Arrow.
The fighting had stopped. Nyx and Dandd were reviving people. When all the officers had gathered where Crysania’s Tower used to be, they found no trace of her. They found all of her stuff, what little there was, but no body. As the sun set, they looked around. They had destroyed Quinhalla, burnt it to the ground. The era of Quinhalla Factions was over, Night had Fallen on the Ruins of what was. The Night Court had deemed them Partners in Crime.
Lalandra: Dood! That’s our Bread and Butter we just @#$%ed with.
Spike: Uhh…so now that we’re all drawn together, let’s go on a never ending quest to save our guild leader!
Balreth: Never Ending?
Rain: Save?
Spike: …ok fine, let’s go on a probably short quest to find our guild leader…
Dandd: No need.
He had everyone’s attention.
Dandd: When I last saw her, she said Code ALF
Nyx: Me too.
Lalandra: ALF?
Dandd: Yep. “All Located Forward”
Angel: Forward?
Dandd: Yep. She had me move the library to Paradise City.
Nyx: The Menagerie too.
There was a feeling of loss. In their own ways, everyone became aware that she saw this coming, and prepared for this destruction.
Dandd: so, for this quest… Who’s the Boss?
Everyone immediately pointed Fingers at everyone else.
Balreth to Lalandra: you’re the senior officer here.
Lalandra back to Balreth: no YOU’RE the SENIOR officer here.
Rain grins and puts his hands in the air: I’m not even an officer.
Angel takes a step back: I’ve never even been there before.
Dandd sighs and thinks to himself “You did it, Crysania. You united all of them. United them in not wanting to be party lead…”
Spike, strangely sober: What if she’s not there?
The argument stops.
Lalandra: THAT’S not funny.
The thought of Crysania not waiting for them in Paradise City helps them organize and move out.
“Prophecies had built Quinhalla, Factions had destroyed it. What does Nightfall have in store?” Dandd thought to himself, shuddering with pessimism.
Spike, suddenly, yelled: YOUR MOM!
“Huh?” in surround sound.
Spike: A good way to end any 80’s related conversation…
There was much groaning as they began to leave the ruins behind.