the Right perspective
Dear Conservatives, I have been wrong about you, for several years now. I think I am going to join your ranks and cast off this burden of knowledge forever. I don’t need it, you have shown us all that facts simply don’t matter. Not only do facts not matter, but you are boldly not falsifiable. You have an amazing ability to ignore: reality, objectivity and educated consensus. Whereas liberals may change their mind in their obvious weakness, Conservatives simply dig-in and hold their ground. This is an amazing ability in an age where we have so much information readily available at our fingertips. You can just believe or feel things to be true, everything else be damned. You proudly do not understand the difference between truth and fact.
Like the true contagion you are, you are not simply content to be in constant combat with the real world. You are masters of shameless propaganda and the entire infotainment industry. I finally understand why you think Fox News is “Fair and Balanced.” Since everything that does not neatly conform to your existing ideals is discarded, only that which does is represented. With only an incredibly small pool of ideas and people left to choose from, Fox News does actually represent that segment very well. It is both fair and balanced to everything that isn’t wantonly rejected outright. This idea of filtering out anything and everything that doesn’t fit your existing narrative is incredibly popular. Additionally, if you can’t filter it out for whatever reason, being unnecessarily hostile seems to be the next best popular option. Like a true ideological virus, you’ve influenced millions to be closed-minded and aggressive in the name of vague, cherry-picked, loosely-defined concepts. It isn’t just your aged, mostly white, viewers either but an entire generation of children are growing up to be poorly educated, narcissistic and antagonistic.
You, Conservatives, are geniuses. You have the ability to shut-down, ignore, and alter the tone and tenor of a conversation. You repeat lies until they are accepted as truth. You carefully select what to report on and what to ignore. You hold liberals to different standards from your own with glee. You control the narrative with amazing coordination. Your entire network of shills, alleged journalists, think tanks, and internet mobs work with almost scary level of unity. You have a way of twisting, spinning, facts and narratives around so liberals, and their ideas, are always at fault. You will find a way to pin anything on them, even if the connection is entirely fabricated. Even you are just as guilty in other examples, you’ll do it anyway! You can do no wrong. Even if you are wrong, then the message becomes that of victimization. You oppress while claiming to be oppressed. It is a genius strategy that is largely still working.
You disenfranchise people with an incredible efficiency. Your ability to sap the hope out of such a large chunk of the populace is truly admirable. You have all but ensured midterm elections will swing overwhelmingly Right and your efforts to ensure that the youth and minority vote will be legally suppressed are well noted. To even further your cause, you systemically gerrymander entire states to your benefit. In PA, as an example, democrats received 44% of the total vote but only 5 of 18 House seats. 44% vote = 27% representation. Brilliant! Same with North Carolina: 44% of the vote but only 3 of 13 seats. 44% vote = 23% representation. On a larger scale, you don’t even have to win the popular vote anymore. By emphasizing the already commonly held belief that votes don’t matter, you ensure a favorable result for you.
You are the masters of negativity, and you’ve found ways to profit from it in leaps and bounds. We can never be in a state of peace because of you. We will always be in a “War on Something.” Then, every few years or so, we will be in an actual military war. Obviously, this benefits your entrenched Military Industrial Complex, which you own. When other people try to fight back, you are very quick to ignite the mob-mentality base and execute: whether this be a massive fundraising campaign for professed bigots, or doxxing people to try to destroy them, or simply dismiss it entirely. You actively work against the interests of: women, children, the sick, the poor, the elderly, the small businesses, minorities, and more. Yet, despite this, you still get people to vote for you in droves. You get people to vote against their own interests. This is nothing short of amazing.
Your egocentrism knows no bounds. Believing you possess the moral authority on just about anything you want, you mentally plant your flag on something and claim it as your own. It doesn’t matter if you’re wrong, it’s yours. You will not budge. You’ll remind liberals you have most of the guns and dare the same to come take them. Obviously, there is no mass systemic gun-snatching , but that will not stop you from abandoning your post of paranoia. You’ve claimed something, you must defend it! You’ll defend it against anyone! The government? Yes! Gays? YES!! Immigrants? YES!!! You need everyone to get off your sandy lawn, it is where you bury your head.
What else is worth defending? Everything! You will defend the fact that 31 Republican senators (and at least 37 House Republicans) voted against Hurricane Sandy relief, but requested disaster relief for their respective constituencies. You will vigorously defend the idea that it is good when it benefits you and bad when it benefits others. It doesn’t matter that more Red states require more tax dollars than they contribute as compared to blue states. Liberals are still wrong.
You also love irony. YOU LOVE IT. Conservatives are the party of ‘Family Values’ yet more and more sexual crimes, and homosexuality (which I guess is still a crime to you) are discovered all the time. The hypocrisy extends to, but certainly not limited to: Bill Gothard, The Rev. George Alan Rekers, Doug W. Phillips, Newt Gingrich, Steve Wiles (Miss Mona Sinclair), Vance McAllister, Paul Stanley, Laura Schlessinger, Randy Boehning, and Rush Limbaugh. You are the party of ‘Small Government’ but routinely try to wield government to do your bidding. You are the party of ‘Fiscal Responsibility’ yet have no problems expanding the deficit through unpaid wars, tax cuts, and other policies that benefit the wealthy. You are also, predominantly, ‘Pro-Life’ and show that through your wars, education cuts, refusal to expand health care, safety net cuts, victim blaming, death penalties, and the odd dichotomy of ensuring all pregnancies are carried to term (even if the fetus is unviable and/or the woman’s health is in danger) but then leaving them to essentially fend for themselves.
You also have control pretty much figured out. In addition to media manipulation, your undeniable influence is elsewhere. Not only are you gutting education budgets, but you’re also getting your rubber-stamped devotees onto school boards, and your woefully incorrect textbooks into schools. You encourage anti-vaccination under the pretense of ‘freedom.’ You encourage homeschooling to avoid ‘indoctrination.’ The Earth is, after all, only a couple thousand years old, and evolution never existed in any way shape or form. You aren’t anti-science! You’re Pro-Myth! You are content to watch the world burn (or flood, as it may be more appropriate). You are perfectly ok with children being systemically malnourished through cheap, processed, unhealthy food-like-substances. It is the ‘cheap’ part that is the seller. Even then, you actively try to strip away food stamp programs, WIC programs, and other community initiatives. Since you haven’t yet completely killed those programs off yet, you resort to shaming people who use it. It’s kind of like another version of victim blaming, but often with the word ‘lazy.’
Lazy is one of those code words. It is the underlying idea that everyone can become as rich as the Koch Brothers if they simply put effort in. That’s it! The only requirement: effort. Racial prejudice? A liberal invention. Gender bias? A liberal invention. A stagnant economy? Tax cuts for the rich. Labor issues? Destroy the Unions. Unethical corporate practices? Overregulation. Exporting of opportunities? Good business practices.
Your real loyalty lies with money. Because of you, corporations no longer believe they have a responsibility to their community. Their shareholders are the only thing that matters. Not ethics. Not sustainability. Not their employees. Not the resources they are consuming. Not the infrastructure they use. Only their bottom line. This is the only metric that matters. It is a modern version of ‘might makes right’ and/or ‘the ends justify the means.’ In ways, you are moving us further and further into an economic feudalism, of sorts. You don’t care whether or not people become ‘wage slaves’ as long as you get your cheap product and big dividend check. The wealthiest people continue to get extraordinarily more wealthy at the expense of everyone else, but you still control the narrative.
Racism. Sexism. The War on Drugs. Islamic Terrorism. The War on Women. The War on Christmas. Religious Freedom. You control the narrative so well, most people aren’t focused on the real problem: Rich vs. Poor. As the Rich continue to gobble up the overwhelming majority of, well, everything, they can continue to exert their control relatively unscathed. The rich can continue to buy politicians to service their own interests. The rich can continue to enjoy health and education that they deny others. The rich can continue to flood the market with toxic products. The rich can continue to monopolize entire industries and reap the profit without giving a quality service. The rich can continue to control the media and disenlighten the masses. The rich can make themselves immune to most the problems they create. The market says so.
The market. A belief wherein this ‘entity,’ having reached idol status, is the answer to most of life’s questions. Minimum/Living Wage? No. Let the market decide. Environmental protection? No. Let the market decide. Risky investment banking with consumer money? Yes. Let the market decide. Exploitation of the Developing-World? Yes. Let the market decide. Overseas Tax Havens? Yes. Let the market decide. Privatizing prison systems? Yes. Let the market decide. Liberals want a functioning market that provides for our short and long-term interests. That’s just code for regulation. You believe that regulations are bad, all of them.
You also believe that corruption is not only legal, but should be encouraged. Of course, you don’t call it corruption. You just call it business. It is perfectly acceptable to donate millions to campaigns, offer politicians lucrative jobs at your respective companies, and get to write the language of legislation themselves. That is just a manifestation of the market. If someone else wants to lobby the government, let them spend their money. Oh? They are just working class citizens and can’t afford a congressman? Stop being lazy. Corruption isn’t just in the political arena, but the corporate one as well. Take Carly Fiorina for instance: ran HP into the ground, laid off 30,000 employees and was fired. However, she got $20 million for being fired. The market spoke.
Again, the facts do not matter. Let us quickly look at some of President Obama’s numbers. Even though he is a: Marxist, Communist, Fascist, Muslim, Socialist, Nazi, Weak-Willed, Lead-From-Behind Dictator, let us look anyway. From February 2009 to April 2015: The unemployment rate dropped from 8.3% to 5.5%. GDP rose from $14.4 Trillion to $17.4 Trillion. GDP growth rose from ~-5.4% to ~+2.2%. The Dow rose by ~10,000 points. Corporate profits rose from $1.044 Trillion to $1.912 Trillion. Discretionary Spending decreased from $1.4 Trillion to $1.1 Trillion. The annual deficit decreased from $1.4 Trillion to $468 Billion. Housing prices rose from -7.1% growth to +4.6% growth. Medically uninsured people decreased from 16.1% to 11.9%. The number of combat troops deployed decreased from ~186,300 to ~9,939. The consumer confidence index rose from 25 to 101.3. However, he is still the worst president in history, just poll other Conservatives and they will tell you.
Regarding President Obama being a Muslim. Let us see what is common with Islamic Law: very supportive of death penalty, oppose separation of church and state, religious doctrine should be taught in schools, women should have fewer rights than men, opposition to multiculturalism, think homosexuality is evil and believe gay marriage should be outlawed. Perhaps you have more in common with the ‘Muslim threat’ than the President does. Again, the facts do not matter. The President is still evil and all liberals are wrong.
Since we have another election coming up, let us look not at Hillary Clinton, but one of the aspects you are using to try to destroy her. Benghazi. Benghazi! Benghazi!! Benghazi!!! It has become sort of a rallying cry. Yes, it is unfortunate it happened. However, what about: Dec. 15, 2001 – U.S. Embassy in Kathmandu, Nepal, Jan. 22, 2002: American Center in Calcutta, India, March 20, 2002: A car bomb near the U.S. Embassy in Lima, Peru, June 14, 2002: A suicide bombing in front of the U.S. Consulate in Karachi, Pakistan, Nov. 9, 2002: Assassination of the security supervisor for the U.S. embassy in Kathmandu, Nepal, May 12, 2003: Suicide bombers, Vinnell in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, July 30, 2004: Suicide bomber, U.S. Embassy in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. Oct. 24, 2004: Edward Seitz, the assistant regional security officer at the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad, Iraq, died in a mortar or possible rocket attack at Camp Victory near the Baghdad airport. Nov 25, 2004: Jim Mollen, the U.S. Embassy’s senior consultant to the Iraqi Ministers of Education and Higher Education, was killed just outside the Green Zone in Baghdad. Dec. 7, 2004: Gunmen belonging to al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula stormed the U.S. Consulate in Jedda, Saudi Arabia, Jan. 29, 2005: Rocket or a mortar round, U.S. Embassy, Baghdad. Sept. 7, 2005: I.E.D., Basra, Iraq, March 2, 2006: Car bomb, U.S. Consulate, Karachi, Pakistan, Sept. 12, 2006: Militants attacked the U.S. embassy in Damascus, Syria, July 8, 2007: Two Iraqi U.S. Embassy workers were killed when the wife went to deliver a ransom for her husband who had been kidnapped in Baghdad. One of the couple’s bodyguards was killed in the failed ransoming. Jan. 14, 2008: A bomb ,U.S. Embassy vehicle, Lebanon, March 18, 2008: Al-Qaida’s wing in Yemen, Jund Al-Yemen Brigades, fired between three and five mortar rounds toward the U.S. embassy, Sanaa, Yemen. July 9, 2008: Gunmen, U.S. consulate in Istanbul, Turkey. Sept. 17, 2008: Militants disguised as security forces detonated vehicle-borne improvised explosive devices, fired rocket propelled grenades, rockets and firearms on the U.S. Embassy in Sanaa, Yemen. A suicide bomber also blew himself up at the embassy, Nov. 27, 2008: A suicide car bomber targeted the U.S. Embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan? These were all under the President Bush administration. Why don’t they receive the same scrutiny? It is because liberals are still wrong.
Reflecting on all this, it is astounding. It’s dumbfounding. I want to be a Conservative! I want to be able to spout opinions, demand they be accepted as objective facts all without having to prove or source anything. I want to be able to become irrationally hostile whenever someone doesn’t automatically agree with me. I want to be able to oppress large quantities of people with a strength of conviction and sleep well at night knowing I’m doing the right thing. I want to selfishly hoard as much wealth as possible, then make it as hard as I can for anyone else to do the same (climbing the ladder, then knocking it over). I want to get people to vote against their own interests in droves. I want to wield my personal interpretation of religion as a weapon. I want to feel justified whenever I do something for me that hurts others. I want to be more apathetic, but at the same time full of misplaced rage. I want to form strong opinions on things I know little/nothing about. I want to counter everything someone says with “yeah, but the liberals/democrats…” I want to maintain poverty to scare the middle class into compliance. I want to openly discriminate and be celebrated for it. I want to blame Gays/Women/Minorities/Muslims for everything that goes wrong. I want to invade foreign countries at whim, steal their resources and leave destabilization and quagmire in our wake. I want to imprison more people. I want to arm more people, for we know homosexuals are bad but ammosexuals are good. I want to cut funding to all things that help the poor, the middle class, and anything related to non-religious science. I want to take us back in time, and vigorously fight all attempts at ‘progress.’ I want to teach abstinence only, then get outraged with it doesn’t work. I want to abolish all taxes, but still expect everything that benefits me to function. I want to deploy troops without adequately dealing with them when they come home. I want to know, deep down, that “all men are created equal” applies only to White, God-Fearing, Male Citizens. …There so much more I want to be able to do with a clean conscious. I want to be like you! I want to be able to brazenly reject the pursuit of the common good for my own gain. Life would simply be so much simpler if I could just condemn people and things with no rational cause or reason, but just because I believe I can. I want to believe that American Exceptionalism is rooted in a well-rounded accumulation of actual facts. I want the facts to not matter. I want everyone to come to know Supply Side Jesus. I want everyone to have the right perspective. I want everyone to have the Right perspective. I want to be a Conservative.
~Monk Anchorwind
Goku Day 2015 (9 May)