A Very Merry Wintersday 2016
Spike: Hey, you! What’s your name?
Henchman 1’s heart melts: After all this time?! It’s-
Spike yells: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!
Henchman 1 mutters something foul.
Spike turns to Simon: That did feel good.
Macho Simon: OOOHHH YEEAAAH!
Spike: For @#$%’s sake, that’s getting annoying.
Simon: What ‘chu gonna do ’bout it, brotha?!
Spike thinks to himself: what AM I going to do about it?
Spike grins to himself: Oh, you’re going to smell what Spike’s cooking.
Spike spins on his heel and leaves.
Simon shrugs: If you want to be the man, you have to beat the man.
Spike whispers: I’m going to beat you alright…
Simon waves: HAVE A NICE DAY!
Spike grumbles.
Simon leaves to head outside and Spike dashes for the smell of food. Spike has a plan!
Spike begs and pleads with henchmen for beans, broccoli, brussels sprouts, and a couple other items and helps to cook. They sat down together and swapped stories of Wintersdays Past.
They told a story of how Balreth lit an arrow on fire, shot it through five snowmen and pierced the center of a gold coin. Then, he made it into a necklace for Grace. She wore it until someone thought it meant she was a bad merchant, then she took the necklace and shoved it down that person’s throat and left the corpse in the marketplace as a warning. Ah, the good old days.
They told a story of how Nyx and Lalandra tried to play fetch with Georgia in the snow, but ended up playing fetch with themselves because Georgia just looked at them strangely. They told a story of the Featherfall Festival and why they’re building this gigantic snow slide coming off of Skycoast into the sea beyond. They’re very excited to try it out.
They occasionally mentioned that in festival times, Crysania always liked to remain more in the back and let everyone else have the spotlight. The henchmen appreciated that.
Spike had ate so much, and swapped so many stories he had lost track of time – and Simon.
Spike’s insides were gurgling, and he was in a bit of pain. He needed to act – now. He needed to find Simon, but find him unaware.
It wasn’t long before he found Simon inspecting the slide. Spike snuck up alongside Skycoast, and got the attention of a couple henchman with his attempt at inconspicuousness.
Spike began his sprint towards Simon: SIMON!
Simon turns around only to receive a flying shoulder to the stomach!
Henchman 3: SPEAR! SPEAR! BAW GAWD HE BROKE HIM IN HALF!
Simon lays flat out in the snow holding his stomach while Spike quickly climbs a couple steps up the nearby ladder, leading up to part of the slide.
Henchman 5: DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT! BAW GAWD HE HAS A FAMILY!
Spike ignores the plea and elbow drops Simon from the ladder.
Without hesitation Spike hovers right above Simon’s head and unleashes a tremendous amount of gas. Simon’s head ignites and melts some surrounding snow.
Spike smiles to himself: it worked!
Spike, a bit of out of breath but feeling relief looks down, still smiling: Spike 3:16 says I just whipped your ass…with my ass.
A dazed Simon has no response as almost all henchmen in attendance are cheering or laughing loudly.
Spike: I don’t want to hear another “OOOHHH YYEAAHH” and that’s the bottom line, because Spikelangelo Said So.
A couple henchmen fell over in laughter.
Simon’s flame just flickers in the snow a bit before he stands up and brushes himself off.
Henchman 1 is making his rounds: The snow slide is done, dood! Crysania wants everyone up top!
There is a bit of groaning, as the climb to the top isn’t exactly brief.
Upon reaching the top, Dandd and Crysania offer some words of cheer and reflection about Wintersday and the last 10 years of Quin. They keep it short because the air in the room is all about the slide. People are anxious to try it.
The henchmen gather around the window overlooking the slide, and anxious is the right word. The jump is much more perilous now than it seemed before. All but one henchman back away from the window.
Seeing the opportunity, Spike frantically gestured to Simon – who set up for the Tag Team Maneuver.
Spike ran full speed and leapt into Simon’s folded hands. Simon fell backwards and propelled Spike with even more force towards the hesitating henchman at the window. Spike dropkicked the henchman with significant force out of the window onto the massive slide!
Henchman 1: @#$% YOU!!!
Everyone quickly ran towards the window to see the flailing henchman accelerate rapidly down the slide, and take flight off the other end! …where he impacted flatly on the water (and made the crowd groan in pain) and probably promptly caught hypothermia.
Simon: Rest. In. Peace.
Crysania: Probably didn’t think that one through very well.
There was a lot of shaking of heads.
Crysania: Welp. Happy Wintersday Everyone. I hear you can make Simon’s head explode with your own gas. Who else wants to try?
Simon begins to sprint down the stairs: Oh, @#$% THIS!
A couple henchmen give chase: PICK ME, DOOD!
Spike, Dandd, and Crysania all give laughs that fill the upper chambers of Skycoast.
A very merry Wintersday Indeed.
References:
Professional Wrestling
Guild History
Disgaea
10 Years.
I look down at the grail they got for me, even if it wasn’t specifically something they went out to find for me. It’s something I cherish. Having this Keg of Holding, the Inexhaustible Inebriating Imbibry, helps too. I wonder if it will ever run dry. Time to refill. I sit here in Skycoast alongside the Spirit of Crysania and I can’t help but smile.
“It’s hard to remember that she died” I catch myself muttering.
I recall the story to myself. Crysania died in the underworld almost 10 years ago. She always was the first one in and the last one out. Something remarkable happened though, and I wouldn’t have believed it had I not been there to see it for myself.
The Quin said no.
The Call of the Hoolequin, collectively, deemed Crysania’s death unacceptable. They believed in her, so she believed in them. It wasn’t easy, grappling with her own death. Not only that, but as the Quin believed in her more – she gained more inexplicable powers. Poor girl couldn’t handle all that and fractured into even more spirits. She spent entirely too much time trying to juggle regaining herself and supporting everyone else.
She’s only here because they believe her to be. When they stop believing she goes back to being dead. You wouldn’t know it, from the way everyone acts. There’s never a whisper of her ever being gone and she never stops doing what she does. It’s hard to describe what she does. A little bit of everything, I think. Maybe, it’s just easier to say she’s just what you needed – right before you knew you needed it.
She’s good like that.
Rain’s anger. Razy’s bloodthirst. Cerulean’s Preparation. All the different facets of Crysania that erupted as she, herself, manifested. She’s gone through quite the journey all on her own. Now look at her, the human human resource manager, and she manages people with humility.
Look at all the other major characters. The Rich and The Lucky, they’re quite a pair. The Menagerie and the Necroleptic. All the henchmen. Ah, the henchmen. Hours of entertainment, them. They all kept her alive through sheer force of will. I wonder if they cared about keeping her alive, specifically. I wonder how often they forgot, just as I did. I still forget, and I live here. I’m just as reliant on her as the other facets.
Now, I see her floating around being an artist. She seems to have passed off more of the actual day-to-day adventuring to everyone else. The world has moved beyond monks it seems. Perhaps, one day, they’ll want the Spirit of Crysania again.
The Anchorwind can be felt far and wide, I think. It’s not something easily forgotten. She’s not something easily forgotten, even if we’re all alone now – Her and I. Sure, Spike and Simon are around much of the time but we’re just the most enduring facets. Spike, the facet of her sense of adventure and curiousity, and Simon is her facet of loneliness and memory loss. Of course, She wants to be wise and peaceful like me one day. Good luck.
We try so hard to fit in but we’ll disappear when she does. So far, no one is in a hurry for that. I know I’m not. I’ll miss “FTM.”
She’s QUINtessential. We all are.
-Dandd Polyhedron.