2025 : A Year of Compassion in Review
I doubt it surprises much of anyone at this point to establish 2025 has been a challenging year, full of needless conflict caused primarily by authoritarians seizing power backed by capitalists who can buy up the remains for pennies on the dollar; their base continuously pumped full of fear and anger to keep them moving the goalposts and avoid focusing on the real problems. If anyone, having watched the ‘maga’ crowd make constant excuses for either their behavior (*1) or the behavior of those they voted for, still doubts the dangers of tribalism (*2), I question their desire to act in good faith.
When I sat down to meditate in front of the proverbial mirror, my initial thoughts were along the lines of “I performed poorly” in regard to practicing compassion this year. It wasn’t until I attempted to write about my disappointment in myself this year I realized I was erroneous. I have *a lot* of room to improve in several areas, but I was actually more compassionate than the credit I initially gave myself.
In terms of compassion toward others, I did reasonably well in choosing when and where to engage. In other words, I practiced ‘Silence as Compassion.’ I have a better understanding not just of where my limits are but also of whether something is worth the investment of time and energy. To that end, I sent over 24,500 Discord messages this year – an average of over 67 a day. For the people I do choose to engage with regularly, I practiced ‘Availability and Consistency as Compassion.’ I didn’t turn anyone away, and I’ve done much better at being present with people in need with minimal judgment.
Additionally, I’ve been incredibly successful at practicing ‘Validation as Compassion.’ I’ve helped people develop identities, let go of past ‘stuck points,’ refine and strengthen existing paths without making them about me (*3), and point people toward a potentially better path when they reach exhaustion with their current failing path. I’ve been able to do this often through example, as well as through my writings and conversations. I’ve become a bit of a place wherein people do not feel a need to wear their masks anymore, and I am grateful.
It isn’t just compassion toward others I’ve improved upon, but self-compassion as well. For starters, I was able to re-examine my stance on my overseas past. I’ve found a measure of peace: while those activities were tragic, I can stop trying to assume blame, which isn’t mine to take. I kept trying to judge my teenage/young adult self by the skills and experience I have now – mistakenly thinking I had them back then as well, instead of understanding how I’ve developed into who I am over a long time and much struggle. I also felt responsible for decisions made *way* above my paygrade; I felt my ability to operate within or resist them was the same as it is now, which is untrue. While I will never be ‘ok’ with what happened, I can also stop punishing myself at every turn because of it.
In another improvement in self-compassion, I was able to practice ‘Rest as Compassion’ much more successfully. I’ve let myself put some things down, as well as let myself not be under a constant pressure to ‘do’ (force) things. I know I’ll get things done when I’m able, and I’ve been able to let go of ‘everything is urgent,’ which is a swift path to burnout. In doing so, I’ve also quieted my mind substantially, no longer just overthinking everything to the point I’m thinking about my thoughts – a.k.a. the mental chatter in our minds that serves little purpose beyond a point. Zen has a teaching called ‘Ordinary Mind’ which simply tells you to eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, walk when you’re energetic, etc. There is no need to value-judge every action; just be.
In developing a greater sense not just of what compassion is, but also of why it’s essential to a better life, I’ve come up with an idea: The Four Stages of Life.
- The first stage is the ‘Hope’ stage. Here, our inexhaustible energy source, the mechanism for meaning, is tapped into when a problem arises. If the problem is deemed worth our investment, it is, first and foremost, a hope for a resolution, driving us into action. Some may argue hopelessness comes prior to this first stage but I disagree; emotions such as anger, despair, or apathy are masks attempting to suppress or divert hope. Those masks must be continuously refreshed, or else hope will shine through on its own.
- The second stage is the ‘Compassion’ stage. Here, we deal with the consequences of action – ours or others’. It is here we deal with guilt, shame, and their resolution through forgiveness and closure. If we’re unable to practice compassion successfully, we fall back into the hope stage, looking for a different solution. Plenty of positive resolutions happen here as well.
- The third stage is the ‘Peace’ stage. We only arrive here when we have reached legitimate resolution with all of our major life issues, and can quickly achieve such with day-to-day issues through either not becoming attached initially or our ability to release (let go) swiftly upon conclusion.
- The fourth and final stage is the ‘Joy’ stage. When peace has been sustained for so long, the outward radiant energy, beginning with hope, has no blockage and shines through independently.
- People strive for joy (happiness) when they should strive for peace instead. Joy is fleeting, often being a reaction to a stimulus. However, when we have attained real inner peace, the amount we can choose to engage with is immense, as our capacity for life is no longer partially consumed by all which drags us down. We can find much more joy in the ‘little’ things when we’ve made peace with the ‘big’ ones.
- Truly, we can only attain the peaceful stage by being skillful in hope and compassion – toward ourselves and toward understanding environmental harmony. Many forces are trying to keep you at stages one and two: Capitalism teaches the love of money over people, and we see the consequences everywhere we look – from the worsening products we buy to people unable to get proper Healthcare. We also see people scared of one another, and what is fear of others but another form of a lack of compassion? Education cuts, for example, are both a love of money over people and a fear of people in action. As people, we all want the same basic things, even if we may have different ideas on how to get there. (*4)
When I think about the obstacles preventing me from being even more skillful at practicing compassion, I have learned I am still attached to too many things not contributing positively to my daily life. It is with that in mind my focus for 2026 is ‘A Year of Release,’ in which I aim to genuinely let go of things (including feelings and memories), taking away from my ability to be internally peaceful rather than contributing. I have a complicated road ahead of me but I feel ready to attempt it.
Be Compassionate; You Are Worth It!
reBLUEvinate!
(*1) We see a lot of ‘I didn’t vote for this’ despite much of what is happening being precisely promised during the campaign trail. It matters little whether it was ignorance, malice, or apathy that led them to vote for someone who openly promised destruction (and already had an *awful* first term), but we are getting the days they voted for.
(*2) Politics being treated as ‘team sports’ to this degree is beyond dangerous. While the Democrats are far from perfect, I have seen no significant movement to protect *anyone* regardless of their party affiliation from Epstein-related consequences, as an example. It’s another instance of the adage ‘Democrats (need to) fall in love, Republicans fall in line.’ However, just falling in line and dehumanizing the ‘other’ is just a tool for those in power to seize more of it and use it maliciously.
(*3) I don’t tend to make things about me in general, but I’ve gotten a lot better at knowing when to add a “me too!” comment vs. when to listen and not include myself at all.
(*4) Virtually no parent wants their kid gunned down at a school, being unable to afford housing, going bankrupt getting sick or injured, or staring down the barrel of climate change, and yet where is the will to make it happen? Why are Education Cuts considered a fear of people? Only those afraid of a healthy, educated, mobile populace want cuts – everyone else wants the tools to succeed, regardless of what their individual definition of success is.