Dear Diary,
In my piece yesterday, introducing the idea we should learn what to embrace in order to discern what to release, I feel I glossed over an essential step in the middle: learning to stay connected. This intermediary step will be unique to the individual, but if done correctly, it will feel smooth and organic. As I stated previously, as we approach truth, things become simple. Similarly, as we learn to stay connected with ourselves, things begin to ‘feel right,’ an emotion difficult to describe. Still, hopefully you, dear reader, have already experienced it – a time when you’ve put on a piece of clothing or sat somewhere and you ‘just knew’ it was correct.
Recently, I gave the barefoot-shoe genre another try; I understood their promise, but never found the right shoe. I did some research and found a new(er) company advertising not only a significant guarantee but also a ‘we’re putting our money where our mouth is’ sale. I invested, and it’s been an incredible success so far. I feel connected to the ground when I walk, and given that each moment can be an invitation to Meditation, the connection to the ground has been a Grounding Technique in more ways than one.
I also really enjoy having a blanket or a sheet (seasonal, depending) on me while sitting on the couch. I’m a fairly tactile person in general, and I periodically change what I wear just because I like the feel of different fabrics – and that isn’t seasonally dependent. I started looking into Meditation Robes or other things I could wear about in lieu of my couch offerings (or in addition to, when I’m sitting). I realized I had a cheap cloth poncho hanging about, and I gave that a try for a bit. While not a long-term solution, it is having much of the desired impact, and now I know I can invest in something higher quality.
I think of taking warm showers, my drinks with bubbles (flavored club sodas, seltzers, Coke Zero with a whisky alternative, mineral water, etc.), watching the birds eat the seed I put out for them, listening to the rain, singing and dancing to the music, my hair blowing in the breeze, being creative, and so much more. I frequently do things to stay connected to the present, and it is ok for me to recognize it. Your list of things may resemble mine scarcely, but that’s fine; we walk not the same path. What is important is we understand the little things, such as a nice cup of tea or a fresh breeze coming in through the window, shouldn’t be overlooked, for it is the little things that make up so much of life.
There are two major facets of life pulling us away from our connection to the present: Anxiety and Depression. In the present, I tend to be calm, thoughtful, sensitive, aware, and grounded in reality. Anxiety pulls us into the future, which never comes, while Depression sends us into a past, which can never be altered. When I’m pulled away from the present, I feel the loss of connection with myself and the things I enjoy. I have not yet mastered the ability simply to recognize ‘Oh! I am not present, let me return’ regardless of circumstance, but I can say I’m better at leaving the past be than I once was – concerns about the future still trouble me, but I also recognize I have yet to find my limits for compassion. (*1)
Anxiety and Depression are among the reasons why it is crucial to understand what to embrace and what to release. If we’re surrounded by objects, memories, emotions, thoughts, etc., that only serve us guilt or other negativity during good times, what do you think they do when we’re pulled away from the present? Anxiety and Depression aren’t things to be ‘conquered,’ only a burden to be put down like a heavy pack after a long walk. Anxiety and Depression can be challenging to release independently, let alone when we surround ourselves with other negative attachments. I saw a small wooden sign at a local art gallery along the river with the words “Do more of what makes you happy” painted on it. Simple advice, but it’s true. We can spend so much time dwelling in either the past or the future, distracted by things we don’t want to do, that we lose connections with ourselves and the things we make meaningful.
Staying connected shouldn’t feel laborious or tedious. If it does, examine where the burden lies and reevaluate why. Staying connected shouldn’t feel much of anything, and that’s the point; by being adequately present, we give ourselves opportunities to think and feel to our fullest. Staying connected could be a pleasant, peaceful contentment one moment and an active, heart-pounding excitement the next. When we become comfortable with our connection, nagging thoughts and feelings become amplified; don’t be alarmed by this. It’s only a sign a lot of the background ‘noise’ we once had has gone away. It’s good to examine the recurring thought or feeling and why it keeps recurring. It’s likely something worth addressing in some way.
Although I’ve mentioned them a few times, I’ll mention them again (with a giant smile). Underworld’s Motorhome, “What don’t lift you, drags you down. Keep away from the dark side.” If we’re doing something we believe keeps us connected, but it irritates us, perhaps we should examine why we’re doing it. Maybe we’re practicing ineffective escapism, and it is instead time to stop running. Perhaps the activity itself is no longer what it once was, and it is ok to move on. Staying connected when done right should be a peaceful thing, and peace is not the absence of stress but a positive place. Peace just ‘feels right,’ and you’ll know it when you get there.
Stay Connected; You Are Worth It!
reBLUEvinate!
(*1) For instance, here was one of today’s events. Prime Minister Stoere of Norway received this message from trump at 1615 Oslo Time: “Dear Jonas: Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace, although it will always be predominant, but can now think about what is good and proper for the United States of America. Denmark cannot protect that land from Russia or China, and why do they have a “right of ownership” anyway? There are no written documents, it’s only that a boat landed there hundreds of years ago, but we had boats landing there, also. I have done more for NATO than any other person since its founding, and now, NATO should do something for the United States. The World is not secure unless we have Complete and Total Control of Greenland. Thank you! President DJT” – This message was not altered in any way. The number of things wrong with this deserves its own piece, but so does the inaction of the federal’ leadership.’ As much as I would love just to cease to be concerned about the future and worldly affairs, I find it immensely difficult when we have a concentrated effort to protect pedophiles and consolidate wealth into the hands of a select few at the express expense of the rest of us.