The Defense of Skycoast
Voices from the bottom of the tower yelled up in unison: Crysania!!!
The echoing noise of rapid steps quickly followed the shouting.
Dandd put down his pen and came out to see what all the commotion was about. It was Spike and Simon, dashing up the tower as fast as their legs would carry them.
Dandd called down: She’s meditating!
Mr. Simon retorted: THIS IS MORE @$%^ING IMPORTANT!
Dandd shrugged helplessly and stepped aside.
Eventually, the pair made it to the top of the tall tower – breathless. They peered into Crysania’s domed …art gallery… and saw her meditating in the center of the room. She had small vials of ink orbiting around her like a small solar system.
Spike whispers to Dandd: Have we figured out the floating thing yet?
Dandd whispers back: She said something about ‘Monks sacrifice things.’
Spike: …but GRAVITY?!
Dandd shrugged helplessly, again.
Crysania spoke, calmly: I can hear you.
Dandd grumbles: I hate when you do that.
Crysania tried to suppress a grin, and failed.
Mr. Simon’s impatience won: WE FOUND LALANDRA, SOME NEW @#$%ER NAMED BUTCH, AND NYX.
Crysania gently put her feet down, as well as all the ink, much to the relief of the people in the room.
Crysania: Are they well?
Spike fondly pats a stash of things on his belt: Oh yeah, they’re getting by.
Mr. Simon blurts out: BUT THE GODAMN MENAGERIE!
Crysania holds a hand up: Were you followed back here?
Simon and Spike look at each other quizzically.
Crysania presses: Were you seen?
Mr. Simon: @#$% NO! WE PRACTICED THE @#$%ING ART OF INVISIBILITY.
Simon nods enthusiastically: Yeah, practiced Quinjitsu.
A scout henchman blares an alarm.
Crysania frowns: Practice harder.
Dandd grumbles and retreats back to the library.
Spike ponders: What should we do?
Crysania stands tall…sort of: We defend Skycoast.
Spike: Skycoast?
Crysania: Well, ‘The Tall Tower of High Sorcery’ is a bit of a mouthful, don’t you think?
Spike and Simon nod with vigor.
Dandd emerges with some magical staff: It’s about time you gave this place a proper name.
Crysania: Here’s the plan. Dandd, you cast magic missile-
Spike and Simon giggle.
Dandd scowls.
Crysania: -I’ll keep the ascending krewe busy, Spike and Simon. Time to learn Quinsion.
Arched eyebrows abound.
Crysania grins, widely: It’s a special fusion, just for you two. It won’t work with any of us. First of all – Simon is the key…
Simon flexes.
Crysania continues: …and Simon has to be linked to the person he’s fusing with. You two have been best friends for a long time.
Mr. Simon raises up to argue but Crysania’s glare silences him before he speaks. Instead, the flame briefly flickers and returns to normal.
Dandd: I suggest we hurry. More alarms are going off.
Crysania: You, stand here.
Spike moves.
Crysania: You! Here.
Simon moves.
Crysania: Stand like this.
Spike and Simon: WHAT?!
Crysania: JUST @#$^ING DO IT!
The voice of Crysania was felt in the minds of everyone in the vicinity. For a brief moment, it was as if time stopped. Dandd would later record even the invading forces halted, for that instance.
The pair instantly got in the pose.
Crysania demonstrated the dance and the finishing pose.
Mr. Simon: THIS IS @#%^ING SILLY.
Crysania lifted off the ground and folded her legs: You could always fight them all the old fashioned way. I’ll call off the henchmen. YOU brought them here.
Spike and Simon sighed to themselves and executed the dance: QQQUUIINNNSSSIOONN…HA!
An intense flash of fiery light erupted from where their dance ended and there was Spike…with an aura of Simon surrounding him.
Crysania: Good, I was right.
Dandd scoffs: Of course you were.
Crysania: Spike, move forward.
Spike takes a step forward, and the Aura of Simon becomes clearly visible – as an afterimage. Simon follows Spike’s every move, just with a slight delay.
Crysania: Now throw an attack.
Spike throws a punch and Simon’s Aura leaps ahead of Spike – arriving just before!
Spike: Wow, this could be useful.
Crysania: Now, go! I’ll seal the stairs behind you.
They swan dive off the top, into the hollow tower.
Dandd: you did leave the pile of hay down there, yes?
Crysania smiles and nods.
Dandd: You ready?
Crysania’s smile fades, and nods again.
Crysania raises her arms, whispers something, then lowers her arms again and closes her eyes.
Dandd stands nearby with his handy staff.
—
Spike and Simon plummeted past some invaders on their descent, much to the surprise of the invaders!
Some of the invaders decided to go back down the stairs to deal with Spike and Simon while the rest would keep ascending.
Spike and Simon landed safely into the ludicrously small pile of hay conveniently placed in center of the floor on the bottom of the tower.
Invader 7: Why is he glowing?
Invader 10: Who cares? There’s only one of him.
Invader Zim: KILL HIM!
Suddenly, Crysania’s voice entered Spike’s Mind.
Left side, high thrust.
Spike quickly took a small step forward, the blade missing him, but piercing the Aura of Simon – much to the pain of the wielder, who was promptly lit on fire for a brief period of time.
Invader 4: WHAT THE @#$% WAS THAT?!
Right side, low sweep.
Spike leapt backwards and to his left, dodging the incoming axe. Again, the blade connected with the Aura of Simon and briefly ignited the wielder.
Invader 5: He can’t ignite us all!
They circled around Spike and Simon and the melee began in earnest.
Meanwhile, the invaders still ascending saw the lightshow below and picked up their pace, or at least tried to. They didn’t know how many stairs they had climbed but it still seemed they were only halfway up the tower. They hurried on.
Rear, straight thrust. Dodged. Forward, right side slash. Dodged. Left side and right side, simultaneous straight thrust. Dodged.
The Quinsion Spike and Simon had dismantled the platoon of invaders under Crysania’s guidance, now it was time to deal with the remaining squad on the stairs, who were very fatigued. No matter how much they sprinted up the stairs, they were unable to advance beyond the seal. They ran up and up in an infinite spiral, never able to get closer.
The fused pair grinned. Spike’s turn to go on the offensive. He drew a dagger and begun yelling taunts from below.
Spike: GO AHEAD AND BOIL YOUR BOTTOMS, SONS OF A SILLY PERSON!
The invaders stopped sprinting.
Spike continued: I BLOW MY NOSE AT YOU, SO CALLED INVADERS!
Spike gestured at the charred remains of their comrades and yelled: YOU AND ALL YOUR SILLY INVADERS!
Seeing their fallen friends, and their lack of progress, the invaders reversed course and ran down the stairs with whatever stamina they had left.
Simon just blew raspberries at them.
Dandd couldn’t help but snort in glee. This would be a fun chapter in his histories.
Spike met them at the bottom of the stairs and began his assault. With the Aura of Simon leaping forwards with the attacks, the tired invaders couldn’t withstand the heat and quickly succumbed.
When the adrenaline wore off, the Quinsion ended and the Aura of Simon separated from Spike. Both men rested against the wall of Skycoast, exhausted. They, with Crysania’s help, repelled an entire bandit raid…that followed them in – because that’s the only way they could have found the place unless they already knew what they were looking for.
Spike and Simon fist-bumped. It’s all they had energy for.
Right at that moment, a henchman stormed into Skycoast.
Henchman 1: …what.the.@#$%.is.this?
Henchman 1 looks around at all the bodies, the exhausted pair, and sighs with defeat.
Henchman 1: I’m going to have to clean up the hay.
Spike and Simon start laughing, uncontrollably.
Spike falls over, laughing.
Not long afterwards, Crysania and Dandd come down the tall tower.
Crysania, smiling: You did well.
Henchman 1: A message from Balreth.
Dandd snatches it before Crysania gets a chance to.
Dandd opens it and relaxes with relief.
Dandd: It would seem the Duchess has joined him, and not only are they rebuilding their fortress but her new empire as well.
Crysania: So everyone is accounted for.
Crysania, sensing a more opportune moment: Who’s Butch?
Dandd shrugs helplessly, yet again.
Spike, still tired: It’s a long story.
Simon is passed out.
Crysania: She’ll have to tell it someday.
References:
Borderlands
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Assassin’s Creed
Dragonlance
Dungeons and Dragons
Dragon Ball Z
Final Fantasy XV
Invader Zim
Monty Python
Guild and Life Stories