In a wall near the high vaulted-ceiling, a portal opens. To the surprise of the eagle-eyed patrons of the pub in which this ceiling belongs, two beings walk through it bitching loudly about ‘bad service’ and ‘don’t expect a good review!’ before discovering they aren’t on ground level and plummeting a bit to the floor below.
Spikelangelo rubbing his shoulder: Oh, oww. Now where are we?
Simon doesn’t bother to get up: You’re such an @$$…
There is a faint muffled sound of pain and panic.
Spike: You tell me that every time. I’ve lost count, dood.
Simon: Well, It’s true. We wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with if-
Spike joins in with the most monotone voice he can summon -I hadn’t gotten into a big fight with-
The faint muffled sound becomes much more frantic as Simon realizes it is under him and gets up.
Spike and Simon lay their eyes on this little Asura clad in cool blues and purples, and they become immediately excited. They look around and see Norn, Humans, and Sylvari! Unfortunately, Charr are here too.
The pair high-five with incredible enthusiasm and spring to the nearest table to gather themselves over some celebratory drinks.
The flattened Little Asura: Hey! That was my table…
Spike: Well I think I know where we are, but in which mists?
Simon: and in what timeline?
Spike pouts: How many places have we gone to slash been kicked out of?
Simon puffs his flame in thought but the Little Asura, with the aid of her staff, climbs on to the opposing chair.
Little Asura: EXCUSE ME!
Spike doesn’t see the Asura sitting over the table, just the top of the staff and is startled, thinking the staff is talking, and hits the table with his knees with force. The shock of the table slams into the Little Asura and knocks the staff out of her hand sending the staff flying into the side of the head of a neighboring Norn. The not-at-all enthused Norn glances over to see the Asura trying to point at Spike, but Spike and Simon are sitting facing each other having a conversation and are otherwise engaged with each other and this poor Little Asura is all out of excuses. This behemoth of a Norn hands the Little Asura her staff back and growls at her. She tries to look cute and tries to bang on the table in frustration, which is difficult considering the table is taller than she is.
The Little Asura makes some exclamations of frustration and pulls out a device from somewhere within her robes. She presses a button and it unfolds a bit and whirrs into life! Hopping on to it, she ascends to eye level with everyone, where she can be taken more seriously. However, in an attempt to yell at Spike and Simon, she floats backwards at them while demonstrating she hasn’t yet mastered the controls of her craft. She continues to float backwards between the faces of the two and takes a moment to laugh and wave awkwardly, while still fidgeting uncomfortably with her new device.
Spike and Simon pause to look at her, then back at themselves then the most warming laughter erupts in the room as this Little Asura is now the highlight of attention. Knowing she isn’t being impressive, she tries to look cute again. Spike leaps from his chair!
Spike grabs her off her device and waves her around in the air, effortlessly: AAWWW!!! Look at you! You’re so cute!
The Little Asura is beginning to get motion sick and demands to be let down, while also letting go of her staff again.
Spike squees! with joy and drops The Little Asura, who lands on the table of the monstrous Norn while the staff unfortunately dings off his head again.
The Little Asura scrambles to her feet and inhales to yell at Spike but her outstretched hand touches her flying device that just so happens to be floating by at that precise moment. The gargantuan Norn looks at her and her little flying device and growls angrily. The Little Asura tries her best to grab her staff, mount her device and scramble away, however she starts moving backwards again and doesn’t have turning mastered either and flies into the Norn’s tankard, emptying its contents onto the table. The Little Asura tries one last time to look cute before she is promptly lifted up and physically hurled through a nearby open window, out of the establishment, with excessive force.
Spike and Simon finally get their drinks and cannot help but laugh.
Simon pouts, although it’s hard to tell: I do kind of feel bad for her.
Spike puts an already empty mug down: Yeah, her only defense was to look like a puppy. She was so small and cute.
Simon giggles, his flame rhythmically pulsing.
Spike tries to take a drink out of the other mug, but can’t due to laughter: and poor puppy – she can’t even drive her own device.
Simon /hmms: Puppy… She is very small. I kind of want to sing “Atomic Dog” next time I see her.
Spike: You come up with strange ideas, dood.
Simon grooves to the song in his head: “a-tom-ic dooooooggggg”
Spike grins at his friend and just sips on his drink.
The door of the establishment barely creaks open and a highly annoyed little figure walks in, covered in filth. The owner yells immediately about not letting anyone covered in Pig @#$% in his pub, and the Little Asura wants to know what the owner is going to do about it. The owner blinks and threatens to punt her like a ball back into the filth, which draws the laughter of everyone within earshot. She growls angrily and walks back out.
Spike: Poor little puppy, should we go help?
Simon: You and your @#$%ing wanting to help everyone. That’s most of our mess right now! We’d have godamn found Crysania by now if you weren’t trying to help everyone.
Spike pouts: Sorry.
Simon’s flames return to normal: Look dood, I want to help too. We’ve been lost for what feels like years. We’re no closer to finding Crysania, and we haven’t seen or heard from hardly anyone in essentially forever-
Simon looks at the Camera: -you know who you are-
Simon continues in his frustration: -I don’t want to give up but we need a break.
Spike tries to follow Simon’s gaze but just sees the wall of the pub: Dood, you confuse me so often.
Simon scoffs: That’s hard?
Spike shrugs: Sometimes.
Spike gestures for two more drinks when the Little Asura comes back in, drenched, but not covered in @#$%. The owner gives her a once over and shrugs. The Little Asura comes immediately back over to the pair and scales both the chair and the table. She’s now standing face to face with them, and Spike can’t contain himself.
Spike: LOOK AT YOU! You’re all wet and miserable, but you’re adorable! You’re the cutest little puppy ever!
Simon nods in agreement.
“Puppy” is thrown off balance: Wait, what? Did you just refer to me as a puppy?
Spike leans forward with his head in his hands and baby-talks to “Puppy” : Who’s-just-the-cutest? You! Yes-you-are.
“Puppy” : Excuse me! I am not a puppy!
Spike leans back in his chair and visually measures the size of his mug to the size of “Puppy.” She is not amused.
“Puppy” : Ok, well just WHO are you then? Some illustrious adv-
Spike slams the table with enough force to knock “Puppy” off balance. Simon mumbles “oh no…” briefly, and from some depths of one of Spike’s many pockets he produces a (extraordinarily) worn card that he tries to just casually toss on the table, but any observer can see he cares about this a great deal. The card is tattered, stained, and burned a bit, but is a prized possession. It is a 5-point flower logo with the words “The Quindicate” underneath.
“Puppy” : The Quindicate? You mean Syndicate?
Simon’s flames puff and he mutters: Oh now you’ve done it.
Spike grumbles: No, the QUINDICATE.
“Puppy” : Do you just go around putting QUIN in front of everything?
With the speed only a seasoned warrior can muster, Spike slaps the ever loving @#$% out of the Little Asura. However, given relative sizes, Spike takes her clean off her feet and sends her staff flying yet again. She watches helplessly, in a panicked slow-motion, as the staff tumbles towards the head of the colossal Norn. The Norn leans forward to drink from his tankard as the staff soars just behind his head, formerly where his head was. The shocked, stinging, Little Asura, breathes a sigh of relief as the staff clatters harmlessly in the corner of the pub.
Realizing he likely has dirty water, mud, and pig @#$% all over his hand, Spike looks for a suitable place to wipe while making a look of mild disgust. Simon’s amusement over the complete apathy over the state of the Little Asura is visible as the rhythmic pulsing of his flames return, but he does go fetch her staff for her and return with drinks.
“Puppy” : Thanks! I could use thi- wait a minute! This is water! From barely a shot glass!
The Little Asura turns to glare at the owner, who merrily waves back at her.
The Little Asura has had just about enough and throws the rest of the water at Simon, and everything changes.
Simon’s flames barely become glowing embers and he becomes motionless, as if staring into cold space.
Spike: No! no no no. Dood!
Spike shakes Simon, somewhat vigorously.
Spike: Come on, Dood! Snap out of it! You’re not there, in that place that doesn’t need to be mentioned, We’re not even in the same part of the multimists!
“Puppy” : Yeah, what was it about multim-
Spike, turning to the Little Asura : SHUT UP!
“Puppy” recoils a bit but Spike is unable to get Simon back in the present. He’s essentially gone. Spike slumps back in his chair, defeated.
“Puppy” asks nervously: Did I kill him?
Spike shakes his head: No, but you reminded him of something terrible.
“Puppy”: So, your friend has some unresolved, shall we say, PTSD issues?
Spike lifts his head up to stare a hole through the Little Asura.
The Little Asura smiles and offers the Quindicate card back to Spike: I like the card, it’s well designed. It’s been around. I imagine you both have as well. I meant no harm. I’m something of a mental health expert, kind of a recent graduate – but we all start somewhere, right?
Spike sighs: So you really ARE a puppy.
“Puppy”: Well…metaphorically, but not really. I’m Skye. Skye Cimaroon.
Spike chuckles: Skye Cinnamon?
Skye grumbles: Cimaroon.
Spike: I prefer puppy.
Skye pouts: I don’t.
Spike: Well whatever, I have to get Simon out of his water-nymph flashback.
Skye /ponder: I’ve never seen a water-nymph in person.
Spike sighs: Simon really had the hots for this one, in her normal form – and then… Well the rest is not suitable for puppy ears.
Skye stamps her feet: I’m not a puppy!
Spike continues unfazed: Simon was just traumatized, with him being on fire and all that.
Skye: I’ve never-
Spike cuts her off, having heard it a million times: You get used to it.
Skye and Spike share a few quiet moments before Skye breaks the silence: Why did you slap me?
Spike: I did not.
Skye looks stunned: You most certainly did.
RepubliSpike: Nope, fake news.
Skye shakes her head in confusion: Wait, what? I asked you if you just put QUIN in front of everything and you slapped me.
RepubliSpike: No. You’re fake news.
Skye’s big cute eyes narrow: But you DO put QUIN in front of everything…
Spike: No. QUINterage doesn’t work. Actually, it kind of does. QUINterfuge doesn’t? Maybe, doesn’t really roll of the tongue as well. Anyway, pups, I need to get my Quindicate buddy here back in action and maybe find the rest of them. We’ve a mission to return to.
Skye brightens: Who are the rest of the Quindicate?
Simon’s flames explode into life: SSSSHHHH!!! Eyes and Ears everywhere! No.
Skye, being frightened by the flash of spiritual fire, stands there stunned.
Spike: Sorry, we’ve met our Quindicate members in other parts of the multimists and there are some consistencies. We’ve learned there are just some dos-and-don’ts.
Skye’s Asuran curiosities are piqued: Such as?!
Spike stands up and stretches: Sorry, Puppy. If you don’t know about the Quindicate, you shouldn’t ask.
Skye whines: But I wanna know…
Spike smiles, gently: Look, some people aren’t meant to be. Like when he tried to hook up with that one girl – AND SHE TURNED OUT TO BE A WATER-NYMPH!
Simon mutters: …we were only there because of you in the first place…
Spike ignores him: and you, puppy, can’t even pilot your own craft. You don’t have what it takes to be in the Quindicate.
Skye, defiantly: Ha! I bet your little “Quindicate” sucks. I bet you are all harmless and you can’t do anything right.
Just then a red arrow flies in and impales itself on the table just at Skye’s feet, with a message tied to it.
Skye leaps back in horror, and shrieks loudly.
Spike and Simon grin widely!
Spike: Go ahead, puppy. Read the message.
Skye, with visible trepidation, unwraps the message: “See you soon. Signed, Lord Silverlock and Lady Neveah”
Spike and Simon cheer wildly and do a little dance.
Simon sings: “THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN! THE BOYS BACK IN TOWN!!!”
Skye: It’s good to know there are Women in The Quindicate.
Spike: Oh little puppy, Women head many of our divisions – Finance, Menagerie, Mispronunciation, Sarcasm-
Skye: Oh, Sarcasm, really?
Spike, sincerely: Oh, very good! Needs work though. Not as good as the master.
Skye stands where with a baffled look on her face.
Spike and Simon abruptly walk to the bar and toss some coin at the owner and make for the door.
Skye: Wait?! Where are you going?
Spike: To find our friends.
Skye: Me too!
Spike: OH NO! The last time someone new came along ended poorly.
Skye hops on her flying machine: Well tough, you can’t stop me!
Spike and Simon both laugh as they watch this cute little Asura float backwards and struggle to turn.
They look at each other and shrug.
Spike: Keep telling yourself that, kid.
They leave, with her trying desperately to follow…backwards.
References:
George Clinton – Atomic Dog
Thin Lizzy – Boys are Back In Town
Guild History, and a (very) new player Skye Cimaroon
US Politics and my enjoyment of making Spike into everything (Panda Spike, General Spike, etc)