Dear Diary,
What is purpose? Purpose is the principle guiding how we choose to spend our time if all environmental factors are equal. It answers the question ‘what do we want to do/be when we grow up?’ Realistically, we don’t always get to choose how we spend our time due to poor choices in the past. Additionally, we may lack the self-understanding to make the choices we yearn to make in the present; it is another reason to practice mindfulness and meditation.
I’ve been meditating lately about purpose; I feel the question ‘why’ is an intrinsic aspect of consciousness. We want to know why we exist, why the universe works the way it does, and what we’re supposed to do with the available time. Purpose is meaning, and questioning why helps us define ourselves against the backdrop of options. Some people are content letting others define purpose for them, as in religion or tradition, while others need to carve it out for themselves. In either case, believing in our purpose is essential for our health. When we don’t believe in our path, chosen or assigned, we feel lost and become frustrated with ourselves and our environment.
While meditating, I started developing a technique I now call ‘The Inversion Meditation’ wherein I swap two important words in a thought. For example, “I’ve been meditating lately about purpose” becomes “perhaps my purpose is to meditate.” When I did this inversion meditation, it felt like the turbulent river of life flattened out, and all was calm. The first step to conquering a problem is admitting there is one. Similarly, the first step to living a life of joy is understanding how we want to spend our time, our purpose. I have always known I want to help people, but I’ve never figured out how I can do that sustainably. Perhaps my writings from my long hours of meditation can be of assistance to people; I can improve the lives of others by learning about what life is and how we can better experience it.
I function best with broad concepts and time to convert them to me-specific implementations. As such, having a purpose of helping people via practicing mindfulness and meditation and sharing my experiences is a guiding principle. It is broad enough to be adaptable to numerous situations but specific enough to help steer me down the branches of the river of life. It is enough to be present in the back of my mind as something I can fall back on when nothing else demands my attention. It is fulfilling as I’ve already received encouraging feedback informing me my writings are beneficial. I can further decide how wide a net I want to cast when I’m ready.
About eleven years ago, I wrote, “Suffering is the closest to atonement we can achieve.” In essence, I believed my purpose was to suffer. My personality fractured into separate components, the living side which didn’t want to hurt and those that had already died and no longer cared. As I advance, attempting to reconcile myself with myself will be an essential process. After all, we can’t help others if we can’t help ourselves. I think helping others is an ok guiding principle to have. Find your purpose; you are worth it.