One of the oldest and still most relevant lessons in Eastern Thought is, ‘Attachment is the Cause of Suffering.’ I’ve previously written a definition for attachment: when you are forced to change in response to a change in your environment. However, attachment can be more problematic than responding to change, as at least responding to changes is still in the present tense. We can lose ourselves in ideas and plans for the future and become attached to a world that doesn’t exist.
Schemes and Dreams can set our vision and focus well beyond the horizon. Because we are the ones crafting the Schemes and Dreams we feel we have a semblance of control in seeing how the path leads over the horizon to a desirable outcome. The path, even in its hypothetical state, gives us purpose as we enjoy imagining reaching the outcome. There is a sense of security in ‘knowing’ how things ‘should’ turn out because we are going to manifest the result. Judgments, especially these kinds of successive step-by-step ‘if-then’ judgments, excel at removing us from the present into a world of pure fantasy.
“The best laid plans last only until the first bullet is fired.” There are numerous variations on this idea, but they all illustrate the same point – the imaginary path beyond the horizon will never unfold as intended. ‘If-Then’ becomes ‘If Only,’ and focusing on what we didn’t choose or what didn’t choose us is an infinite path that forever takes away from the present. If we want to cultivate environmental harmony, we have to make the hard choice to let go of the illusionary sense of control of the Schemes and Dreams when we realize we’re the imposter.
Imposter Syndrome comes in a few forms, but in the case of Mindfulness and Meditation, it means exerting your will where it may not belong, and the feedback you receive leaves you uneasy at best and hurt at worst. All relationships are reciprocal, even if we don’t tend to define them as such in the Western world. If your goal is to become the best painter, your brush and canvas reciprocate through silent support of your goal. If we keep trying to impose our will on something, someone, who isn’t reciprocal – at what point are we attached to what our Schemes and Dreams say it ‘should’ be instead of what things actually are in the present?
Reconciling our good faith efforts toward a whole-hearted goal with the reality wherein that path did not end where we initially intended is often complicated. We tend to adopt a view wherein because we did not arrive precisely at our initial target we have failed. Such an incredibly tunnel-visioned view frequently not just ignores but rejects the world around us at every moment of life. Schemes and Dreams can be a nice compass direction with reciprocity, but without it, let them be the passing clouds that entertain your curiosity for a moment.
The ending of one path grants us the freedom to explore another; more than that, it grants us an opportunity to look around and decide if taking another is the correct decision at this moment in time. Perhaps we need time to rest and reflect or to celebrate the journey we just concluded. Modern Western life tells us we need to be in white-knuckled control of everything all the time when such is not only harmful to our health but implausible at best (impossible for most of us). If you can follow a direction while remaining harmonious with the present – you’re on to something 🙂 .
Be present; you’re worth it.
reBLUEvinate.