Ten Years of Tragedy: Part 2 – Acceptance.
In Ten Years of Tragedy: Part 1, I wrote about Dishonesty. Dishonesty becomes, or creates, this insidious condition wherein it corrupts everything around and within itself. What it, dishonesty, also does is create an environment wherein Acceptance is not possible. Ronald Wright once said “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” These people cannot change their situation, because they cannot first accept their situation. The first step in solving a problem is admitting you have one, yes?
We, as a country, are constantly fed this line of how we are simply the greatest country on earth. Any refusal to toe that line is met with fierce, and often irrational, opposition. When presented with evidence on how we fail, it is immediately dismissed and the presenter is frequently themselves attacked for daring to suggest otherwise. Churches who teach ‘The Prosperity Gospel’ drain the coffers of meager folk to enrich themselves, tax-free, and fill the heads of the faithful with things simply unacceptable. Media sources, and personalities, refuse to accept objective reality and do everything in their power to pull others in with them – often making large sums of money doing so. The cosmetic industries, magazine covers, commercials, music videos, movies, etc., all do a wonderful job making people – particularly women and girls – struggle with accepting themselves for who they are.
We have a problem. We live in an age wherein facts are easier to find, and share. Instead of the collective we embracing that and the collective we leaping forward hungry for knowledge and progress, there is an audible segment of us who are determined to not only call it all fake, but manufacture intentional misinformation to share using the same channels: religious people who believe they already have the answers, political operatives maneuvering for their cause, corporate powers gunning for profits, and more. Some people get swept up in things like confirmation bias and do not want to accept the truth and/or the facts for what they are.
I am less guilty of all of that. I am not perfect, no one is. I am more guilty of a different kind of acceptance issue. Do I belong? Am I worthy of anything? Maybe I should just die today? Was that compliment sincere? Did I earn these accolades? Do I have a future worth living? In these Ten Years of Tragedy, the above Dishonesty and Societal-grade Acceptance issues are of great importance, but they’ve also help feed my individual-level Acceptance concerns.
As a whole, my self-acceptance is very low. I set unreasonable goals then become upset with myself for failing to accomplish them. I am not yet at a point wherein I am at peace with being a disabled veteran, with legitimate limitations. I still want to be just a normal, healthy, person and set my aspirations as if I was. The cycle of failures makes life worse for me, because now I have a past full of failures, instead of small but important successes to reflect upon. I want to be excelling amongst my peers, not falling behind further each day. Even such a statement, itself, is one I shouldn’t make for if I were to accept myself truly – I’d not compare myself in that manner.
I do not yet know how to arrive at a point wherein I am at peace with my limited capabilities and how to make the most of them. I have no idea how to help other people be better at critical thought. I do not yet know how I can believe people when they give me glowing reviews on my work, for it is not me doubting their integrity. I don’t know what it will take for me to simply have a healthy degree of self-acceptance, to look in the mirror and be ok with who I am and where I’m going. I know I’m on more of a right path now than I’ve been in quite some time, but I also know: a) it’s still not enough, and b) I’ve a long path ahead of me.
Acceptance, we need to remember, isn’t a final goal; Acceptance is the starting line. Acceptance is having admitted, in real terms, what the problems are and coming to peace with them. Acceptance is looking ahead figuring out what to do, instead of staying put and making excuses. Acceptance may the end of one journey, but it’s only the beginning of a likely longer, harder, one. I want to be at the starting line, but I’m not. I want us, the collective us, to be at the grand starting line but we’re not. However, I do have hope for both myself and us. There are lots of people, myself included, making real efforts to do the right thing: not the selfish thing, not the irrational thing, not the short term thing, but the right thing.
Let’s be Honest. Let’s Accept who we are, and who we need to be. Let’s get to work.
Author’s Note – I guess I can accept I make, at least, decent music 🙂 I was listening to my own work while writing this and I made myself smile, so that’s something – right?