Dear Diary,
Whether we agree with our upbringing or rebel against it, it shapes us in ways not easily understood. I was brought up in an age of capitalism wherein climbing the mobility ladder and pulling it up behind you was just a Tuesday. Climate change reports were actively buried; all that mattered was ‘growth.’ Much of the same attitudes are present today, but with the added threats of surging white supremacy and anti-intellectualism. The capital class distracts the majority with a manufactured culture war to win the class war largely uncontested. When we zoom in on this modern lifestyle, it won’t be long until we find the word ‘productivity.’ The word represents another invisible force controlling us that isn’t supposed to be questioned. However, what is productivity?
The capital class would likely tell you productivity relates to making money. You aren’t being productive if you aren’t making the capital class money. No posters are staring you in the face saying that directly, but it is everywhere. Turn on any news channel, and there will be stories about money being lost, even if the story is little more than fuel on the culture war fire via having a target to blame. Immigrants, Millennials, and anyone daring to question the system are all the ones preventing you from having more money. At what point did the meaning of life become an endless loop of trying to have more?
Let us imagine a plausible scenario, shall we? You get up and get right to work, and you fly through your to-do list. You look at the clock and feel great! You’re accomplishing things; you’re being productive. Your productivity buries the anxiety you have for the moment because all those items crossed off mean something in and of itself. However, you’re exhausted and frustrated the next day as your number of crossed-off items is fewer. You immediately feel in your core ‘less is bad’ and resolve to get more done as soon as possible. You skip over validating all the work you accomplished; the focus is solely on what is left to do. There will always be things left to do, but you feel this urge to ‘keep up.’
Who sets the standard for what makes a productive day? The invisible hand of our society tells us more is good and less is bad. This endless journey of ‘more’ ingrained in us brings forth anxiety when we perceive ourselves not doing more. By assigning meaning to these external pressures, we cease to define productivity for ourselves. We prevent ourselves from celebrating successes because we want to live up to invisible and impossible standards. What happens when we reclaim ‘productivity’ for ourselves? We can begin to set healthy barriers to give ourselves the breathing room to rest and live.
Rest is productivity, as is pursuing a hobby. How often do we get told rest and recreation is slacking off or is otherwise wasteful? Have we stopped to ask who is saying these things? The answer probably lies in someone who benefits from your labor. Have we stopped to examine why mainstream media strives to make you angry at someone else? The answer likely has something to do with you being ok with programs helping ‘them’ being taken away. Who benefits from the ordinary citizen having fewer opportunities? The capital class. If you are uneducated and poor, you can’t resist the system.
Imposter Syndrome is subtly woven into the fabric of late-stage capitalism. There is always something to strive for, something you can do better – ‘more.’ We compare ourselves to people we perceive as doing things better and pressure ourselves to emulate their success. We strip away human considerations like limitations, circumstances, random chance, etc., and only focus on the end result. This conditioning is by design; it is drilled into us to produce and consume more. Our increased production and consumption leads to someone on a TV screen or boardroom pointing at an upwards graph and the capital class reaping more and more.
We can seize the meaning of our productivity back for ourselves. Time spent in the garden, in the kitchen, on the trail, or whatever else allows being present without suffering is time well invested. We know when we’ve done the best we can and don’t need the invisible hand of social pressure to validate us. There are, and will continue to be, times where rest is the best we can do. Every day does not need to be record-breaking. We do not have to live a life of continuous burnout striving to achieve an ever-increasing standard of ‘more.’
We all have different dreams for our ideal lifestyle. For those who want to travel worldwide in first-class, the time they invest in making that possible is significant. It is ok to enjoy a different lifestyle. It is ok to be happy with a smaller house and a garden. It is ok to listen to the birds chirping outside. Sitting and watch the water flow by for a while could be just what the doctor ordered. Give yourself time to daydream; let yourself be bored from time to time. We will find the inspiration to live with intention in these restful moments. We will know where our time and effort should be invested; we will understand how to be productive sustainably. Align intention with action and be happy; you are worth it.
P.S. – Yes, work is important. However, work is not the ‘be-all-to-end-all’ facet of our lives. We don’t have to be an executive to be successful at work. We don’t need to have millions of interactions across several continents to do something meaningful. Every day, we can create meaning by doing what we enjoy doing – whether going on a bike ride, fixing a car, writing a book, or learning something new. It isn’t required that we listen to those with more than they’ll ever need telling us to give them more. It is ok to do and have ‘enough.’ Even more critical is we don’t have to listen to others telling us we haven’t accomplished enough. Imposter Syndrome is an unnecessary pressure we put on ourselves. It is ok to do the best you can and leave it without judgment and comparison to what we ‘should’ be doing or what that person did over there.