Dear Diary,
The Late George Carlin taught us, ‘The quality of our thoughts can only be as good as the quality of our language.’ This one idea is something I’ve been thinking about since some time in my childhood when I was first introduced to it. Thoughts are how we talk to ourselves, how we prepare to interact with others, and how we process interactions we’ve already had. We form thoughts as a series of words, and words are symbols of meaning.
Today, in the middle of 2024, one of the most common words I hear is ‘sick.’ What does that word mean? Like many words that have been stripped before it, ‘sick’ by itself no longer has a symbol attached to it. ‘Sick’ could be ill, although ‘ill’ itself may not be associated with being unfit or unhealthy. ‘Sick’ could, instead of being afflicted or indisposed, could be joyful, pleased, amused, delighted, enthusiastic, elated, or ecstatic.
People’s yearning to belong creates a desire to invent a distinguishing mark, a standard around which to rally. To me, this feels both counter-intuitive and counter-productive. To begin with, we are adding layers of processing we need to do to translate, and some things get lost in translation. When we form arbitrary groups, we see each other as ‘different,’ and there will always be tensions when people see one another as different. We and our environment are one and the same – being other people are in your environment on a larger scale we are all part of one whole.
Oddly, the cure for loneliness is to erect a barrier between you and the world as a whole by creating a culture where people conform to it or they themselves don’t belong. I think the requirement of conformity or exile is why I live a solitary life. I’m someone who has a wide swath of interests. When we look out the window with presence, we notice the entirety of the scene before us: the leaves blowing in the wind, the squirrels going about their business, the birds flying by, the clouds, the shadows, etc. It is only when we focus on one aspect we lose sight of the rest of it.
I don’t feel comfortable focusing on one thing for too long; I feel the call of all the other things that get lost by the wayside. For all the constant barrage of negativity that gets thrown at us, people tend to be worthwhile. There are so many things out there to learn about, even at a casual level. I stop to look around my studio and appreciate the different cultures and ages represented in this one room. Perhaps that’s why few are interested in being my friend. I don’t always talk about whatever subject initially brought us together – sports, games, music, etc. It would take another curious person who wants to learn and explore, often impromptu, to tolerate me!
Lao Tzu’s Tao De Ching #42 says:
“Ordinary men hate solitude.
But the Master makes use of it,
embracing his aloneness, realizing
he is one with the whole universe.”
I rejected aloneness for entirely too long; it consumed me. Now, I spend days alone, only opening my mouth to eat and drink. However, I’m not alone – I explore our ever-increasingly connected world and occasionally leave a ripple upon its waters.
In 2017, as part of my “The View Off The Cliff” monologue, I said:
“I am a man of nothingness,
so I dream of everything.
I am a man without a home,
so I feel love for all.”
If I have a distinguishing mark, it is my lack of a distinguishing mark. When you understand there is nothing to understand, you understand. I am not ‘a gamer.’ I am not ‘an artist.’ I am not a ‘critic.’ I am not an ‘audiophile.’ However, I have been lightly seasoned by quite a few people who are comforted by their label. In the absence of a label, there is no ‘in-group’ and no ‘out-group.’ As a result, it is natural to develop a compassion that has far fewer restrictions or limitations. I find my simplicity affable. At some point I started telling people ‘we are people called people living on a planet called dirt.’ I don’t remember where it began, but just like my monologue, it was seeds of understanding we and the environment are the same to break down the barriers between groups and demystify the broad brush misconceptions we often give those of a different group.
I think simplicity is undervalued in today’s complex and busy world. However, I also think simplicity shouldn’t be confused with a lack of quality. It is this thought that brings me full circle to language and thoughts. If we condense a need for belonging, identity, and multiple emotions all into a single word like ‘sick,’ we run the risk of losing the quality or depth of the human experience. The internet, in particular, has been effective at over-simplification through memes, social media, etc. The world is nuanced, fluid, and complicated and cannot be explained through the symbols we call words. It can only be experienced, and we do ourselves no favors by placing barriers between ourselves and others and limiting our ability to express the experience in a way only those closest to us can understand.