Dear Diary,
What is Sadness? Sadness is the pain of losing an attachment to the world. Alternately, sadness is us relating to someone else losing theirs. Imagine a mother handing a child a balloon and seeing the pure excitement on the little one’s face when they grasp the string. The balloon is a tangible representation of the child’s attachment to their mother and love for one another. The child lets go by mistake and strains to reach for the string but watches in dismay as the balloon becomes smaller and smaller in their view. The child cries in sadness because they lost that attachment, and we can relate to that pain.
Sadness can also be the loss of intangible things. Perhaps there was a promotion we know we’re qualified for yet didn’t receive. We filled our balloon full of hope and purpose during the application process. We allowed ourselves to dream of potential plans for what we would do after securing that promotion. After being passed over, we let go of the string and felt both sadness and anger as our hope faded from view. We felt sadness as we lost our attachment to our hope and anger because we wanted to protect our trajectory in our careers and life.
Sadness is one of the heaviest burdens to bear when your goal is to be mindful and present in a non-judgmental state. Sadness persists after the balloon has faded from view as it becomes harder to hope again. We don’t want to form attachments anymore and feel pain from them being severed. We either learn to live without attachments or become brave enough to try again, knowing pain is possible. Sometimes It feels easier to throw an anchor down in the river of life and keep every day the way it is so we cease getting hurt. Doing so, however, only keeps us stuck in the past where we relive the same pain again and again.
Sadness is a fundamental emotion. It helps focus on what is essential in our lives by showing us what we are and are not ready to lose. It is ok to have objects and memories critical to us and worth keeping; on the other hand, it is also ok for something to have completed its journey, and it can be thanked for its service. Learning about sadness helps us know about joy. Joy is the positive feeling we experience from being present with what is important to us without obstruction. A mechanic working on their car without worrying about the garage or relationships is joyful.
It is crucial to remember that meditation is a term encompassing many techniques to train our attention. The mechanic working on his car can be a form of meditation. Filling balloons to give to others can be a meditation, as can helping others not stay stuck in the past. We all feel sad at some point in our lives but we don’t have to remain stuck in the sadness; we don’t have to suffer alone either. It’s ok to ask for help to make it through the moment, even if all the assistance required is a friendly ear. We will lose attachments, be they relationships, memories, or objects, but we don’t have to lose hope. Stay hopeful; you are worth it.