Keep the little things little
Keep the little things little. How often is that the moral of the story? Too often. It’s likely the lesson I most clearly forget when things begin to spiral into unhealthy territories, both high and low. Keep the little things little. I’m phenomenal at keeping big things big. The relationships I have never lose their importance. The hearts of others is never unheard and the value of a dollar is never forgotten. I’m bathed, dressed and fed, so you might not be able to gauge the intensity of the battle just by looking at me. It’s a big thing for me to try not to draw large amounts of attention to myself and, again, I do well at the big picture. Keep the little things little, therein lies my failure.
What constitutes a little thing? How consequential things have to be, is a good place to start. We can choose to blow things out of proportion, but there are reasonable consequences that most of us would agree need to happen for each action. I’m wonderful at enforcing consequences, and even better at not specifically looking for them, but reacting to what has already happened. What I’m not good at is letting go, I’m not good at letting things pass without consequence. Every action is supposed to have a reaction. My life is full of good deeds that never went unpunished, honorable and noble failures that have left lasting impressions.
Little things are supposed to stay little and some of them are so small they can pass through without consequence. We are supposed to build up capital with people, store up ‘get out of jail free’ cards if you will. When we do something small, but only once here or there, we can use some of our built up capital and pass through without too much consequence. What happens, though, if we continue to do the same little thing? What happens if we continue to do many different little things? At what point does the accumulation of little things become a big thing? I struggle with this a great deal. I think I am so good with patterns, and so keen on keeping things small that escalation happens too quickly sometimes. Some little things are treated as big things.
How can we deflate big things back into little things? We need to keep the little things little. We can begin with communication! Communication with our inner voices, as well as communication with the people we hold so dear. Even communication must be handled appropriately, though. If, in the process of trying to deflate something big into something little, we approach the communication aspect poorly then we may just create another issue. I struggle with this too. I will not talk about things when they are still little things, and then have a hard time talking about them because they have become big issues. If I would have just said something up front, nipped it in the bud, it could have stayed a little thing and I could have moved on quickly.
I am an individual who reacts to everything, tries to make the best of everything but has trouble letting go of anything. In my attempts to not draw too much attention to myself, I try not to say too much until it is too late. I make people uncomfortable around me, make them feel like they have to guard what they do and say around me, and I am predictably passionate. I am wonderful at keeping the big picture priorities on top where they belong but I struggle with the moral of the story: keeping the little things little.
~Monk Anchorwind
(VA Monologue Draft Idea, June 2014)