I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘peace.’ It is easy to think of peace as the absence of stress, but when is there truly no stress? We can divert our attention away from something, but it still exists outside our focus. Generally speaking, tensions do not independently dissipate if we choose not to engage. In truth, the obstacle, the stress, is the path. Rest is any activity in which you feel better having completed, and our condition rarely improves by practicing avoidance long term.
The mountains you carry are meant for you to climb. However, it is ok to put the burden down and take some time to contemplate how to overcome it. Sitting at the base of the mountain catching your breath is something you feel better doing, so it is restful. When you are ready, making progress up the mountain makes you feel better via the sense of accomplishment and positive momentum feedback loops. When you have scaled to the summit, you feel better because the problem no longer plagues the fringes of your thoughts; it is behind you now. We transition from doing to being and back again, focusing on what we feel better having done.
Peace is found in rest because we focus on what makes us feel better. When we don’t have a clear direction to move in, it is ok to sit where we are and enjoy the quiet. I find it challenging to sit in stillness. I quickly feel like I’m being lazy and not pushing myself enough. What is ‘enough’ but a determination we must make for ourselves, and I’ve given that power to others for far too long. The problem for me is I do not have a good barometer to judge what would make me feel better when it is time to be still. I don’t know how to practice enough and allow myself to do little, a skill to practice for sure.
Doing nothing, practicing non-action, is an acceptable answer in-between periods of activity. A path will open up when we give ourselves time to slow down and take in our environment. In boredom, we find inspiration, and not filling our schedules to be occupied every moment is a good thing. My current perspective tends to be frustrated because I want to do something but cannot concentrate or lack inspiration. I am trying to learn to transition into a state of being more and allow my mind to wander of its own. When I am ready to get back on the path, I will.
I am constantly worried about going backward, degrading. Dark and harmful impulses are rarely far from my thoughts, and I feel I expend a great deal of energy diverting my attention away from them. I continuously practice escapism through work by feeling anxious when I’m not busy. Anxiety does not make me feel better, so I frequently do not rest. I push to manufacture a moment of peace, but I miss the point. Peace is the balance of doing and being at our pace, addressing the stresses that prevent us from practicing non-action. Rest is the result of allowing ourselves to make progress when we can, and relaxing when moving forward would be more harmful than productive. By asking ourselves what would make us feel better, we can build a better rhythm of life and develop joy organically. Practice rest; you are worth it.