I was sitting in the dentist chair recently, getting the annual exam and x-rays done. After all was said and done they were happy to report there were no issues; I had done well. I smiled, and pondered aloud at what age do people stop receiving gold star stickers. This got some laughs and a brief, but productive, conversation. At the time I didn’t even understand the importance of my own external thought. I would have worn my sticker. In this gravity well of negativity we find ourselves in today, it seems as if we have to consciously consume more energy to achieve escape velocity. That sticker would have helped, interestingly enough.
Are we just attracted to negativity? The majority of headlines are some form of negative: death, destruction, crime, loss, etc. We gossip and speak ill of each other freely, at any given opportunity. When allowed, we organize into groups and find ways to tear other groups down. This group organization can be as big as: gender, race, religion, and/or nationality. It can be a bit smaller, such as a sports team affiliation. We can keep finding smaller and smaller ways to divide us, it isn’t hard. We do it ourselves, without assistance.
I find myself doing it too, and it saddens me. While I do consciously make efforts to be more positive in my communication: using more cheerful language, adding smiley faces when I can, showing gratitude or appreciation, giving credit where it is due, and more, I find myself slipping into that negative gravity well with surprising ease. As if it is our default method of communication, giving an update about someone is all just the negative things that have happened with a dash of ‘I hope it all works out’ or ‘I’ll try to help.’ We do similar things when offering feedback, we all too often criticize the parts we dislike and say nothing about the rest. As the adage goes: “no news is good news.”
In these contemporary dystrumpian times wherein we are inundated, and at-times overwhelmed, with negativity we have become carrion creatures, scavenging the corpses of comments and content for positivity. We have to salvage positivity. The earned gold star sticker isn’t going to solve the world, but it is an easy meal of positivity. It is someone letting you know you did good, you should be positive for the time being. We should give more of these to each other: smiles, hugs, compliments with criticism, good news, etc.
We are suspicious of positivity. We reject it. Not only have I been trying to be more positive towards other people, as stated previously, but been trying to be more positive towards myself. The former is much easier. Perhaps I’m just doing it wrong, but trying to be happy about your accomplishments can make other people dislike you, rapidly. Shouldn’t we want everyone to succeed? I’m, without question, not framing myself as better than anyone else. That is laughably absurd. However, presenting myself in a light wherein I’m actively trying to not be as miserable as the person next to me? Perhaps that is where the problem lies. Perhaps I’m supposed to be miserable, flat on my back at the bottom of the gravity well of negativity – helpless. I somehow don’t think so.