Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Here in the West, if we had to describe the culture with one word (which would always be a gross oversimplification, I readily admit), it would be \u2018more.\u00a0 \u2019 The idea of \u2018enough\u2019 borders on blasphemy in boardrooms coast to coast, and by extension in everything they touch \u2013 your phones, TV screens, magazines, billboards, etc.\u00a0 The idea of growth above all else, consequences be damned, is one we share with something else we consider horrid: cancer.\u00a0 We are conditioned to work harder, faster, for longer hours, all to compete for fewer opportunities.<\/p>\n
Western culture and the modus operandi (MO) of \u2018more\u2019 lead people and corporations to hoard as much as possible whenever possible.\u00a0 The idea of Supply and Demand is easier to understand.\u00a0 With less supply, the price of something can increase even if the supply is artificially made \u2018scarce.\u00a0 \u2019 Therein lies the key point, the myth of scarcity! While some things are actually rare, such as elements further down (heavier) on the periodic table, others are made to appear rare but are not (*1).<\/p>\n
We have been conditioned to believe valuable things are rare and out of our reach, and as a result, we should chase that \u2018inner circle\u2019 and be a part of that \u2018exclusive\u2019 group.\u00a0 Such a conditioned mentality applies not only to consumerism and materialism but also to spirituality.\u00a0 We think masters have hidden truths waiting to be uncovered, or wisdom can only be achieved through ordeals.\u00a0 Yet the most profound lessons are often the simplest, and most accessible to us all.<\/p>\n
The foolish reject what they see but not what they think, while the wise reject what they think but not what they see.\u00a0 Najwa Zebian, a Lebanese-Canadian author, said, “These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.”\u00a0 A lesson like this is available to us all, and we can all see within ourselves or those we care about, times (including right now!) when the burdens we bear bring us no constructive value.\u00a0 However, we reject what is plain to see and instead tell ourselves we need to be \u2018stronger\u2019 \u2013 another version of \u2018more.\u2019<\/p>\n
We don’t need to be stronger to carry more burdens; we need to be better at putting them down and at not picking some up in the first place.\u00a0 Carrying infinite quantities of burdens for endless periods of time is not what life is about, regardless of what preachers, shareholders, or managers try to shove down your spirit.\u00a0 Please take a moment to pause and reflect on the happiest times of your life, and I\u2019m willing to wager all of them came as a result of a burden being relieved or came during a period of relative calm (*2).<\/p>\n
Calmness is accessible to us all! Calmness is not scarce; no masters are gatekeeping it from you, awaiting some trial.\u00a0 It can be as simple as a language difference: \u201cI am anxious\u201d becomes \u201cAnxiety is present.\u201d One is an attachment requiring energy to detach, and the other is an observation.\u00a0 Making an observation requires far less energy and no judgment, and we can move on from observations just as quickly as we made them.<\/p>\n
Another element of calmness is how we talk to ourselves and when we do.\u00a0 It is, unfortunately, common to seek external validation when validation can only come from within.\u00a0 Even when we think we need someone else’s approval, what we really want is confirmation of what we already know or have achieved (*3).\u00a0 In a sense, redemption is in effect the same as letting go of negative self-judgment.\u00a0 We consistently push ourselves down with negativity; without that downward pressure, we\u2019ll rise on our own over time.\u00a0 Guilt is the burden of change, and forgiveness is the relief of that burden.\u00a0 If we have wronged others, they may give us the permission structure we seek to set down the burden of change, but it is still up to us to do so and move on.<\/p>\n
\u2018More\u2019 isn\u2019t always the answer, and it may surprise many how often it isn\u2019t.\u00a0 Trying to \u2018soldier through\u2019 life, simply surviving to fight another day, isn\u2019t what life is about, as all you accomplish is sacrificing your present for a future that may never arrive (*4).\u00a0 Some burdens aren\u2019t meant to be borne but surmounted for a better view, akin to seeing the valley from the hilltop.\u00a0 Strength isn\u2019t merely how much we can carry but how firm our boundaries are, and being able to say \u2018no\u2019 as a complete sentence.\u00a0 Strength is also found in how we treat ourselves past, present, and future (*5).<\/p>\n
Yes, some burdens will find their way onto our shoulders, and we must carry them for a while.\u00a0 Life has its difficult periods, but we need not bear everything, nor carry anything forever.\u00a0 I like to use the words \u2018retire\u2019 and \u2018thank you for your service\u2019 when it is time for something and I to part ways, as I enjoy the belief everything has a spirit.\u00a0 For me, it is offering a sincere silent prayer the spirit of whatever I\u2019m releasing can find its resting place.\u00a0 I\u2019m aware that some may find the practice silly, equating inanimate objects and things of the past with the recently deceased.\u00a0 Still, practicing gratitude for our time together and wishing them well makes letting them go easier and brings me a measure of peace as I send them on their way.<\/p>\n
Calmness, like most of life\u2019s true gems, isn\u2019t rare or hidden.\u00a0 Strength isn\u2019t solely how much we can lift and carry.\u00a0 How we each learn to let go can be through little rituals like mine (*6) or something less formal of your creation.\u00a0 \u2018Enough\u2019 is an acceptable answer, and \u2018no\u2019 can be a complete sentence.\u00a0 We can treat ourselves better simply by changing how we speak to ourselves, and scarcity is not, by itself, a symbol of desirability.\u00a0 It is ok to be content with what matters to us and to let go of the rest.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Find Strength in Calmness; You Are Worth It!<\/p>\n
reBLUEvinate!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
(*1) Diamonds are a shining example of this in action.\u00a0 The diamond market is controlled by a small handful of companies, most notably De Beers, which artificially keeps prices high by manipulating supply.<\/p>\n
(*2) By calm, I mean a period when there weren\u2019t burdens to worry about, or when they were managed well enough that they didn\u2019t need to occupy mental space.<\/p>\n
(*3) If you\u2019re seeking advice or having a discussion with someone in order to make a decision, sometimes that\u2019s still ultimately just confirming what you already knew under the layers of doubt.\u00a0 If you genuinely are directionless and seek external help, the best we can do is point you in a direction, and it is up to you to walk the path.<\/p>\n
(*4) I can speak from extensive personal experience!<\/p>\n
(*5) How can we treat our future selves? If we fail to treat our present selves well, we will degrade, break, and fail.\u00a0 That future self we risk envisioning becomes someone incapable of carrying out those dreams.\u00a0 Yes, change can be scary, and discipline can be frustrating, but the payoff is often more than worth the annoyance.<\/p>\n
(*6) I\u2019ve been used and discarded quite a bit in my life.\u00a0 I know how awful it feels, so I try not to do it to anyone.\u00a0 Since I enjoy thinking everything has a spirit, it means \u2018everyone\u2019 and \u2018everything\u2019 shares a similar definition.\u00a0 It\u2019s important to me to ensure everyone feels seen, heard, and valued, as I have had periods when I wasn’t.<\/p>\n
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Dear Diary, Here in the West, if we had to describe the culture with one word (which would always be a gross oversimplification, I readily admit), it would be \u2018more.\u00a0 \u2019 The idea of \u2018enough\u2019 borders on blasphemy in boardrooms coast to coast, and by extension in everything they touch \u2013 your phones, TV screens, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[304,337],"tags":[340],"class_list":["post-240473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-diary","category-the-mindfulness-journey","tag-340"],"yoast_head":"\n