Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
In order to understand what we need to release, we should understand what we should embrace. I sometimes fear letting something go, for no other reason than I release quite a bit unintentionally through memory loss. My frequent and predictable forgetting of things (*1) makes me want to cherish and hold on to memories while I have them, since I never know when I will lose them. Regrettably, when I lose my memory of something, it is often irretrievable, as if it had never happened. When this situation first started years ago, it caused great panic, a deep sense of remorse, and a dehumanizing feeling. As I learned to live with it, I swung too far the other way and embraced that dehumanizing feeling, feeling thoroughly alone. Losing another connection reinforced what I believed to be an incurable loneliness. Now I try to be grateful for the time I have with something, knowing some arcs are short and others long(er).<\/p>\n
Attachment is the root of suffering, and my tendency to hold on to things because I haven\u2019t forgotten them unintentionally isn\u2019t always the right answer. These last couple of weeks, giving an awful lot of thought to letting go has been overwhelming, to say the least. I realized I’m trying to make too many changes too swiftly, while listing them all here is too personal. Let\u2019s just say they extend beyond releasing long-held anger to day-to-day operations, finances, and other areas of life.\u00a0 I tend to be a person of action; one of my original mantras I developed for myself is \u201cPlan Slowly, Execute Quickly.\u201d\u00a0 I may take a while to make a decision, but once it’s made, I will give it my all.<\/p>\n
It is possible to do too much.\u00a0 While I only have the capacity for a fewer number of moving parts than I did as a younger person, trying to do everything at once is akin to my previous discussion about strength being more than the ability to bear as many simultaneous burdens as possible.\u00a0 In reality, the closer we get to truth, the simpler things become, and this creates a paradoxical relationship.\u00a0 We want our pain to mean something, regardless of its source, and in seeking meaning, we keep ourselves from truth itself.\u00a0 Spiritual “progress” isn’t about being better; it is about seeing what is already false.\u00a0 Unfortunately, what is already false sometimes is trying to force meaning on the pain we inflict on ourselves, which becomes a vicious cycle of adding more pain, trying to understand the last round of pain.\u00a0 The Sunk Cost Fallacy is a prime example of this, in which we hold on to something (or keep doing something) because we have already invested a certain amount of time in it.\u00a0 Rephrased, we are going to keep experiencing more pain because we want to justify the pain we\u2019ve already received.\u00a0 If this sounds a bit silly when rephrased, you\u2019re not alone.<\/p>\n
We can spend lifetimes listening to scriptures in confusion, but enlightenment happens in an instant. Looking back on how many times I\u2019ve had those moments of awakening, only to return to old habits the next day because they came \u2018too easily\u2019 or some such nonsense, is comical at this point. We put trophies on our shelves or stickers on our cars to commemorate achievements, but enlightenment isn\u2019t about achieving anything other than stripping away the unnecessary layers we\u2019ve placed upon ourselves. Here in the West, we are conditioned to believe that evil must be conquered by good; we are conditioned by conflict.<\/p>\n
Enlightenment isn\u2019t something to be earned at the end of a major conflict.\u00a0 On the contrary, the endless conflicts we give ourselves to feel like we\u2019re \u2018doing\u2019 something keep us on a mental hamster wheel, a treadmill, rather than any sort of actual movement.\u00a0 Learning what we should embrace in order to release the rest is essential to getting off the treadmill and achieving peace.\u00a0 For me, it is music and nature \u2013 water in particular.\u00a0 The sun came out for a brief period yesterday after a stretch of cloudy weather lasting many days, and I hopped in the car for a little local adventure.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t add value judgments to the sunny weather; I just enjoyed it for what it was \u2013 and it was a joyful couple of hours.<\/p>\n
Enjoying things for what they are, staying in the present, and being aware of all that is here and now is most of life.\u00a0 We don\u2019t need to add an arbitrary obstacle to overcome; others will do that for us, especially in the times we live in now.\u00a0 We do not need to hold on to something simply because we have been holding on to it; it is ok to slow down, acknowledge we no longer need to hold on to it, and put it down without judging whether we should have released it sooner.\u00a0 We need not try to change everything at once; we can understand the greater picture while focusing on segments one by one.<\/p>\n
What we need to embrace is relatively little, while what we need to release is comparatively much.\u00a0 Fortunately, much of it is self-inflicted and therefore can be self-healed.\u00a0 Much of what is not self-inflicted is well beyond our control, and we can stop expending so much energy trying to control the situation unilaterally.\u00a0 You have the tools; give yourself the chance!\u00a0 If things start to feel simple, you\u2019re on to something.<\/p>\n
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Let Go; You\u2019re Worth It!<\/p>\n
reBLUEvinate!<\/p>\n
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(*1) I forget quite a bit, regardless of my desire.\u00a0 Give it a couple of weeks of peace or a couple of days of turmoil, and my limited capacity will be overwhelmed, and all bets are off.\u00a0 What I tend to remember most are the mistakes I\u2019ve made, or the ones I’m concerned I may have made. It isn’t ideal.\u00a0 I’ll forget the buttons to a game while I’m playing it.\u00a0 I’ll look at a name in my calendar (for an appointment) and forget who they are and why I made that appointment.<\/p>\n
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Dear Diary, In order to understand what we need to release, we should understand what we should embrace. I sometimes fear letting something go, for no other reason than I release quite a bit unintentionally through memory loss. My frequent and predictable forgetting of things (*1) makes me want to cherish and hold on to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[304,337],"tags":[340],"class_list":["post-240485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-diary","category-the-mindfulness-journey","tag-340"],"yoast_head":"\n