Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
How does one experience forgiveness?\u00a0 Previously, I wrote ‘forgiveness is relieving pressure,’\u00a0 but how does one understand forgiveness has been received?\u00a0 I pondered how forgiveness is the opposing force to guilt and how guilt is the burden of change.\u00a0 What, then, happens when we try to forgive and can’t?\u00a0 What if things are unchangeable?\u00a0 Forgiving superficial wounds is comparatively simple, but the process becomes significantly more difficult when something strikes the core of our values.<\/p>\n
There are times we wish to forgive, and we tell ourselves we have, but the issue still is bothersome.\u00a0 It is only later we understand forgiveness was never given originally, only a failed attempt at such.\u00a0 True forgiveness only comes with actually letting it go and being relieved of the burden of carrying it.\u00a0 It isn’t enough to cease the need to change, but we have achieved forgiveness when the issue exits our thoughts and feelings.\u00a0 Perhaps the problem arises again later, but it will be with far lower stress and impact on our state of being when it does.\u00a0 Memories impact us differently than current feelings, after all.<\/p>\n
How does one sincerely let go, as opposed to merely pretending to relinquish?\u00a0 Two thoughts come to mind:\u00a0 putting other experiences between you and the event in question and practicing radical acceptance.\u00a0\u00a0 The former, continuing to live, is where the adage ‘time heals all wounds’ originates.\u00a0 By continuing to live, we continue to learn, change, and grow.\u00a0 Our views change gradually with continued experiences, and at some point, we grow weary of carrying the burden.<\/p>\n
The other option for achieving true forgiveness is radical acceptance.\u00a0 Put simply, it is acknowledging events without judging them through our personal biases or lenses.\u00a0 When we live in a world of ‘what is’ instead of ‘what if,’\u00a0 we let go of things less painfully.\u00a0\u00a0 For example:\u00a0 if someone cuts you off on the road,\u00a0 acknowledge it happened without making assumptions about the offending driver’s intent or mental state.\u00a0 We can not control other people, only occasionally ourselves.\u00a0 Focus on what reaction we have and can make instead of judging the other person as bad.<\/p>\n
The issues which pierce deeply sometimes require both time and acceptance.\u00a0 We cannot change the past, and draining ourselves of emotional capacity becomes little more than a punishment we inflict upon ourselves.\u00a0 Regretfully,\u00a0 there are instances wherein closure is impossible, and the best thing we can do is to not harm ourselves about it any longer.\u00a0 These instances are the most likely to leave scars, but their mark is favorable to an open wound.\u00a0 Scars fade while open wounds continue to hurt and demand attention.<\/p>\n
In the end, attention is currency.\u00a0 We only have so much to give and must be vigilant with how we spend it. Do we wish to waste our lives focusing on the unchangeable past or the malleable present?\u00a0 We have infinitely more control over the present than the past, and while learning from history assists our hand moving forward, it is our choices now that matter most.\u00a0 The future never happens, and the past no longer exists.\u00a0 Now is all we have, so choose to live in it; forgive those who take our attention away from now – especially oneself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Diary, How does one experience forgiveness?\u00a0 Previously, I wrote ‘forgiveness is relieving pressure,’\u00a0 but how does one understand forgiveness has been received?\u00a0 I pondered how forgiveness is the opposing force to guilt and how guilt is the burden of change.\u00a0 What, then, happens when we try to forgive and can’t?\u00a0 What if things are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[304,337],"tags":[307,329,316],"class_list":["post-28096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-diary","category-the-mindfulness-journey","tag-307","tag-acceptance","tag-forgiveness"],"yoast_head":"\n