Dear Diary,\u00a0 2023’s theme is forgiveness.\u00a0 As a recap,\u00a0 in basic terms, forgiveness relieves the burden of change.\u00a0 Forgiveness is the opposite of guilt (the burden of change).\u00a0 In life, we often retrospect on real and perceived mistakes and ponder to ourselves what we could do better.\u00a0 If we use past mistakes as a learning point to improve, that’s all well and good.\u00a0 However, we commonly get stuck in the past and try to change it – which is impossible.\u00a0 We cannot grasp something new while we hold on to the past so tightly.<\/p>\n
The moments or areas of the past we tend to cling to are traumatic.\u00a0 Trauma is any event disrupting our sense of life as predictable or presents a severe challenge to past ways of understanding the world and our place in it;\u00a0 trauma disrupts our sense of meaning. \u00a0Trauma challenges our identity by reshaping our idea of who we are and who we will become after the event.\u00a0 We evolve into someone new after a traumatic event, often by force.\u00a0 However, we may still look at ourselves through the lens of who we thought we were before the event.\u00a0 The two are no longer the same and aren’t directly compatible.<\/p>\n
Whether we see it in the first-person perspective or not, we tend to grow in some way from trauma.\u00a0 The post-traumatic growth may not be immediate, and it may be subtle, but it is there.\u00a0 Our viewpoints change as we grow and place more time (memories and experiences) between us and the event.\u00a0\u00a0 We do not have to remain trapped in time with a singular idea, a rigid identity.\u00a0 It is ok to acknowledge how we felt in the past was valid, but it is no longer who we are now.<\/p>\n
The more we aligned our identity with a particular ideal, the more difficult it will be to untangle it and redefine it for ourselves.\u00a0 For example,\u00a0 many people made their identity synonymous with a person or a sports team.\u00a0 For them,\u00a0 the celebrity (or politician, preacher, etc.) cannot be wrong because they would also be wrong.\u00a0 Some people later discover the person they are so heavily attached to is incorrect, and their identity crumbles and has to be rebuilt.\u00a0 Others are incapable of admitting error regardless of the circumstances in front of them and continuously double down on the identity investment.<\/p>\n
We need not be ashamed when it is time to rebuild or redefine our identity.\u00a0 If we live in shame at who we were, we will never move on, as judging our past selves will keep us stuck in the past.\u00a0 We can practice forgiveness and go about the business of learning who we are in the present.\u00a0 We can devote good energy to learning how we’ve grown and developed, so we can make goals on how we wish to move forward even further.\u00a0 Who we are now is not the same as who we were, and that’s ok.\u00a0 Who we will become is not the same as who we are now, and that’s ok.\u00a0 Relieve yourself from the burden of change by practicing forgiveness.\u00a0 Change will come naturally over time, gradually day by day, and more distinctly due to traumatic experiences.\u00a0 Love yourself and love who you will become; you are worth it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Diary,\u00a0 2023’s theme is forgiveness.\u00a0 As a recap,\u00a0 in basic terms, forgiveness relieves the burden of change.\u00a0 Forgiveness is the opposite of guilt (the burden of change).\u00a0 In life, we often retrospect on real and perceived mistakes and ponder to ourselves what we could do better.\u00a0 If we use past mistakes as a learning […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[304],"tags":[315,316,317,323],"class_list":["post-28356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-diary","tag-315","tag-forgiveness","tag-identity","tag-trauma"],"yoast_head":"\n