The Original 30 (Written in 2013, Updated in 2023 as my writing skills have improved)\u00a0 31-40 Written in 2023.<\/p>\n
Purpose:\u00a0 30 Tidbits of wisdom written throughout 30 days before I turn 30.\u00a0 Not written in any particular order, just meant to share thoughts and provoke more.\u00a0 31-40 Added as a supplement.<\/p>\n
1) Embrace Nicknames.\u00a0 Names are symbols of affection given to you by those who put meaning into them.\u00a0 Their origins may be practical, such as having a last name that is commonly mispronounced, or observational, such as a dominant behavior or skill, but in time they should become part of the fabric of our identity and owned with a healthy amount of pride.\u00a0 Years ago, should you ask me if I thought I would respond to ‘Monk’ as an actual name, I would have been dismissive.\u00a0 Now, Monk not only represents an easy-to-say word [as opposed to my last name] but a summary of my persona:\u00a0 one that is frequently isolated, spiritually aware, generally unaffected by material pursuits, lives simply, thinks deeply and always has the welfare of others in the forefront.\u00a0 Others have seen the similarities between myself and the various cultural monks of the world:\u00a0 the scholarly monks of Europe, the martial monks of Asia, the hermit monks of lore, and the healing monks of fantasy.\u00a0 While it started as a bit of observational humor, it caught on and became part of my identity: a part of my story.\u00a0 If we, the bearers of names, stop to think about where they came from as I have \u2013 we all may find our own stories rich in fond memories, shared experiences, and tales worth sharing.\u00a0 When new people join and learn the story, they become a part of why those names exist and perhaps earn their own along the way.<\/p>\n
2) Have a tattoo.\u00a0 Do not get a small, meaningless piece on a place you cannot see but something that bears enough meaning to show the world and yourself.\u00a0 In my experience, most of the favorable random encounters I have with the populace are all people with at least one meaningful tattoo.\u00a0\u00a0 A tattoo is a commitment to an ideal or a memory.\u00a0 A tattoo is a part of your story that you are confident enough to broadcast to the world.\u00a0 A tattoo is a conversation starter.\u00a0 A tattoo demonstrates an awareness of self at a core level.\u00a0 For the commitment, understanding, and communication aspects involved:\u00a0 everyone should have at least one when one has enough of a story behind it to be worth having.<\/p>\n
3) Pursue money as a ‘Maintenance’ Idea.\u00a0 Money can be incredibly corrupting.\u00a0 Those who need more money but don’t have it become bitter, and those who have excess often become wasteful or apathetic.\u00a0 How, then, does one find the line?\u00a0 What determines how much money we ‘need?’\u00a0 In this case, it is determined by what is truly important to the person asking the question.\u00a0 Pursuing a larger pool of money is required for one who truly desires world travel.\u00a0 Pursuing the same larger pool of funds is unnecessary for one content with paperbacks and a modest computer.\u00a0\u00a0 When an individual can earn enough money to support the lifestyle that is truly important to that individual, balance can be achieved.\u00a0\u00a0 When said balance is not achieved, we are left with resentful, disillusioned people who are frequently dissatisfied with what they have and often demand what they do not:\u00a0 people who seek more wealth but have forgotten the meaning of value.\u00a0 Pursue more money than you need for the sake of having it and be corrupted by it; attempt not to invest in yourself enough to achieve your balance and be ruled by it.\u00a0 Pursue enough money to maintain what is truly important, and its influence will be healthy if noticed at all. \u00a0(Note: \u00a0I know we all need enough money to cover a base set of needs – I’m speaking of things beyond that.)<\/p>\n
4) Watch foreign movies.\u00a0 Subtitles may take a while to get used to, and some of the subtleties of not being a native speaker will be lost upon us.\u00a0 However, experiencing different cultures from their perspectives reminds us of a most important lesson: our core values as living beings transcend cultural and linguistic barriers.\u00a0 Foreign movies will expand our horizons to music, art forms, histories, and perspectives that we may not normally encounter but simultaneously remind us that we are not as different as our divisive ones wish us to believe.<\/p>\n
5) Be conscious of your mouth. \u00a0Our mouths are gateways to the rest of us.\u00a0 Essentially, they are often windows to reveal other states of our being.\u00a0 We may show a fair bit about ourselves based on what goes in and comes out of our mouths.\u00a0 Are we disciplined?\u00a0 Are we passionate?\u00a0 Do we have a particular guiding philosophy?\u00a0 Where do we come from?\u00a0\u00a0 Are we inclined to broaden our horizons?\u00a0 All these questions and more can be answered by observing the ins and outs of our mouths.\u00a0 Likewise, if we can be diligent with what we put in and what comes out of our mouths \u2013 we often have a leg up on our chance to be healthier than one who does not have the same diligence.\u00a0 Our mouths have an impact on our: emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical aspects of health, so it only makes sense to be conscious of it and take control of it.<\/p>\n
6) Be Fair.\u00a0 Fair does not always mean ‘right.’\u00a0 Life is itself unfair.\u00a0 There are so many variables; no one path in life ensures success (There is no universal definition of success either).\u00a0 Deserving individuals suffer needlessly, and others receive a moment of life-changing good fortune despite their previous terrible track record.\u00a0 To rise above cynicism and strive to be fair in an unfair world is an honorable path too infrequently walked.\u00a0 However, those who walk said path might readily form parties and become an entity greater than the sum of their parts.\u00a0 The fair gravitate towards one another.\u00a0 Fairness breeds trust, which fosters loyalty.\u00a0 Fairness affords second chances and allows faith in the previously discarded to be restored.\u00a0\u00a0 We need fair people with renewed confidence in ourselves and one another.<\/p>\n
7) Re-Learn Yourself.\u00a0 We may believe in our consistency and fail to see the gradual changes under vigil. \u00a0Look back a year, five years, or ten years, and attempt to compare your present self with your past self.\u00a0 While there will undoubtedly be similarities, there will also be differences, and some of those differences may be surprising.\u00a0 Do not rebel against your changes for the sake of tradition.\u00a0 Do not rebel against your changes for fear of an identity crisis.\u00a0 Understand that, as a living and breathing entity, we constantly absorb new experiences and perspectives.\u00a0 This constant absorption allows rationally-minded individuals to re-evaluate how we perceive the world and our place in it; our views and thoughts will evolve with our collective experiences and the potential conclusions they bring.\u00a0 We change.\u00a0 Take the time to learn and appreciate yourself, and guide yourself along the path you want to become the person you wish to be \u2013 even if that path changes over time.<\/p>\n
31) The Self Does Not End at the Skin.\u00a0 “I am the Environment.”\u00a0 It is as simple as that.\u00a0 Whatever environmental changes we make (economically, socially, naturally, etc.) impact us.\u00a0 We are not isolated pockets of consciousness existing in local vacuums unaffected by what happens around us.\u00a0 From more minor things like our favorite room’s status (cleanliness, decor, etc.,) to the health of the oceans, we are part of a larger whole.\u00a0 Sometimes all we need is to rearrange our desk a little bit.\u00a0 Other times volunteering in the neighborhood lifts our spirits.\u00a0 Perhaps we need to check in with old friends or family.\u00a0 We are more than a singular body.<\/p>\n
8) Choose not to belong to a Church or Political Party.\u00a0 Reread it.\u00a0 I did not say, ‘do not believe in anything,’ but I did say, ‘do not put unnecessary layers of people between you and your beliefs.’\u00a0 Once organizations have surpassed a certain size and age barrier, they are often no longer what they once were: in theory or practice.\u00a0 Larger organizations, aged and vast, also tend to influence the decision-making processes of their members.\u00a0 We, as individuals, possess the ability to think for ourselves and seek the counsel of trusted persons on matters wherein we have not yet reached a definitive conclusion.\u00a0 The system becomes less effective when we voluntarily place layers of people between us and our decision-making processes.\u00a0 Believe, but do so with an open mind and on your terms.<\/p>\n
32) We are people called people living on a planet called dirt.\u00a0 There are bad-faith entities that profit from war.\u00a0 Some are media entities, some are preachers, and others are politicians, but they all want to cause division.\u00a0 Division allows for stratification.\u00a0 If you are ‘White’ and they are ‘Black,’ then someone will try to tell you one is superior to the other.\u00a0 We are all people.\u00a0 The wealthy distract you with a culture war while they win the class war.\u00a0 Like #8, don’t put unnecessary layers of belief between you and others.<\/p>\n
9)\u00a0 Drink water.\u00a0 Seriously, drink water.\u00a0 Your body and your wallet will thank you in the long run.<\/p>\n
10) Understand that we all have our wars to fight.\u00a0 Each of us has our wars to fight, our battles to wage.\u00a0 Our struggles are valid.\u00a0 We do not need to justify ourselves to others, even though we will occasionally do so.\u00a0 It is ok to ask for help, and we should remove ourselves from those who discourage such behavior.\u00a0 Healing is not linear, and not every trauma has a permanent ‘solution.’\u00a0 We don’t just ‘get over’ things.\u00a0 Other people struggle too, and their war is equally valid as ours.\u00a0 We should value one another equally as a human with intrinsic worth.<\/p>\n
33) Relate but do not attach.\u00a0 It is a wonderful quality of the human experience that we can empathize with others during a time of stress and need.\u00a0 However, their struggle is theirs to fight;\u00a0 it is not for us to take on and carry automatically.\u00a0 Making other people’s problems ours only depletes us.\u00a0 We can offer assistance, but ultimately the solution rests with them.\u00a0 It is ok to help within a set of boundaries.<\/p>\n
11) If you naturally stand out, then stand out.\u00a0 If your interests are different than everyone else’s, pursue them anyway.\u00a0 Be yourself.\u00a0 The ‘mainstream’ may be a direction many flow in, but it is not the all-encompassing human experience.\u00a0\u00a0 It is possible to neither flow with nor against the mainstream.\u00a0 Let it flow around you without it disrupting who you are.\u00a0 Integrity of character is more rewarding than superficial approval of the masses.\u00a0 More likely than not, the people who would give you the reinforcement that actually matters prefer the real you anyway: so be you, even if what defines you is hard for some to grasp.<\/p>\n
34) Only you can give yourself validation.\u00a0 Recognition is what we receive from others and is not validation. \u00a0Validation is permission to proceed along a chosen path, an acquisition of certainty. \u00a0Recognition may relieve the pressure we place upon ourselves, but only we can give ourselves permission. \u00a0Recognition may be the ‘a ha!’ moment, the final step we sought in our journey, but it is a conclusion, not a beginning. \u00a0We need to give ourselves validation to begin each new step along the way.\u00a0 Awards, likes, and other forms of recognition feel good but they do not substitute us defining for ourselves who we are and what path we will walk.<\/p>\n
12)\u00a0\u00a0 Let your work speak for itself\u2014those who appreciate what you do need no additional coaxing.\u00a0 Your work will touch them all on its own.\u00a0 Regardless of where your talent lies:\u00a0 artistic expression, administrative efficiency, cleanliness, or any of the other broad-brush topics of human capability, do not let a self-sabotaging attitude diminish the quality of your work.<\/p>\n
13) Find a balance between being content with what you have and pursuing what you want.\u00a0 Too much of the former will eventually lead to stagnation, and too much of the latter will leave you broke and still unsatisfied.\u00a0 Sometimes, objects need to be replaced due to a legitimate, critical need.\u00a0 Other times, the appeal of a new toy may detract from what is truly important.\u00a0 There are times when a new investment is worthwhile and other times when breathing new life into what you’ve already invested in is a better idea. \u00a0Finding the line between when to leap forward and when to bunker down can be a mixture of responsibility, experience, maturity, intuition, and situational evaluation, but it is a conscious process.\u00a0 Consciously weigh each decision against what is truly important and decide the best action.<\/p>\n
14)\u00a0 Understand that ‘No’ may mean ‘Not Now.’\u00a0 When it comes to money and food, sometimes the responsible decision is to hold ourselves to standards and say ‘no.’\u00a0 Instead of becoming discouraged and falling into the ‘forbidden fruit’ trap, understand that some of the things we must say ‘no’ to are things we will enjoy later.\u00a0 While some of the frivolous impulses will fade away on their own, the things we truly value will resurface time and again.\u00a0 When we have archived our goals and have earned our reward:\u00a0 we can turn that ‘not now’ into a well-deserved sense of enjoyment.\u00a0\u00a0 So save up a couple more dollars, and lose a couple more pounds:\u00a0 your rewards will be there waiting for you when the time is right.\u00a0 Respect yourself; you are worth it.<\/p>\n
35) No is (can be) a complete sentence.\u00a0 You are not obligated to assist every time you are called upon.\u00a0 Many of us sincerely wish to be helpful and often are only seen when doing so, but it is not required.\u00a0 If the act of assisting comes at the cost of excessive self-sacrifice, then the more intelligent answer is ‘no.’\u00a0 Not a ‘no’ with conditions, just a ‘no’ as a complete sentence.\u00a0 Additionally, you are not required to justify yourself as if you are on trial if ‘no’ is what you need to respond with,\u00a0 it is ok to be mindful of your needs.<\/p>\n
15)\u00a0 Lose yourself in your music.\u00a0 If you sing, sing!\u00a0 If you dance, dance!\u00a0Allow yourself the nostalgic moment or the three-to-five-minute mental vacation.\u00a0 Music is readily available and provides an inexpensive outlet to connect with places, people, feelings, images, et al..\u00a0 We have music that is simply pleasant to listen to.\u00a0 We have music that tells stories, some funny, fictional, and some genuine.\u00a0 We have music that soothes, heals, invigorates, and motivates.\u00a0 We have songs that get stuck in our heads,\u00a0 songs that live in our hearts,\u00a0 and some that we can still sing no matter how long it has been since we’ve heard it last.\u00a0 Embrace our connections with these expressions and lose yourself in your music when possible.\u00a0 It’s refreshing.<\/p>\n
16)\u00a0 Be honest about relationship expectations.\u00a0 Whether the context is: at home, at work, or anywhere in between, be forthcoming with what you expect from yourself and what you refuse to tolerate from other people.<\/p>\n
17) Live and let live.\u00a0 We will not agree with each other all the time.\u00a0 Instead of attempting to convert everyone to a singular (your) set of traditions, perspectives, or lifestyles:\u00a0 try to acknowledge the differences and let them be.\u00a0 Perhaps, we could take all the energy we once spent trying to convert people and spend it learning from each other instead.<\/p>\n
18) Make some ‘you’ time.\u00a0 We are not machines, regardless of what our bosses or our self-imposed task lists may say.\u00a0 We need variety, we need rest, and we need to do things that are singularly important to us.\u00a0 Regardless of what you do with your time, prioritize it.\u00a0 You were not born just to pay bills and die.<\/p>\n
19) Believe in redemption.\u00a0\u00a0 Time changes many things, people included.\u00a0 Should we continually define ourselves or others based on a single moment in the past?\u00a0 Should our identities only be tied to our worst moments?\u00a0 Some roads to redemption are short, and others are long.\u00a0 Some involve the self exclusively, and some paths require assistance.\u00a0 Some are clearly defined from the outset, and others are discovered along the way.<\/p>\n
36) The Past Flows from the Present.\u00a0 It is a common thought that the order of time is ‘past, present, future.’\u00a0 That isn’t always true.\u00a0 In a mathematical sense, we can absolutely say 1983 came before 2023.\u00a0 However, there is only the eternal now.\u00a0 The future will never come, and the past doesn’t exist.\u00a0 When we think of the past, it is shaped by who we are in the present. \u00a0How we feel about an event that came before changes and evolves.\u00a0 The past flows from the present.\u00a0 The good news about this is it enables healing.\u00a0 If we were never allowed to change our perception of the past, a traumatic event would paralyze us to a fate worse than death until we die.\u00a0 It is ok to have the present define us, not trauma.<\/p>\n
20) Love and be loved in return.\u00a0 We are complex creatures.\u00a0 We do not always line up with neatly defined lines of what ‘should’ or ‘should not’ be.\u00a0 We do not always make sense, sometimes not even to ourselves.\u00a0 Sometimes, attempting to rationalize a situation isn’t necessary: just love and be loved in return.<\/p>\n
21) Develop, do not escape.\u00a0 We may develop immersive hobbies and meaningful activities that consume much of our mental space at specific periods.\u00a0 Beware of crossing into unhealthy territory when you abandon reality for these activities.\u00a0 Your expressions are a part of you; retain control of them.\u00a0 Don’t live vicariously through your hobbies.<\/p>\n
37) Develop a Meditation Practice.\u00a0 Meditation is a family of techniques and activities to train our attention to be in the present.\u00a0 If you go for a walk and bring your mind back to your walk every time you find your mind wandering, that’s meditative.\u00a0 If you are working on your car and are fully engaged in working on your vehicle, that’s meditative.\u00a0 Meditation can be breathing or eating.\u00a0 Developing a routine wherein we take time to put down the weight of the world and focus our attention on one thing is good for us.<\/p>\n
22)\u00a0 Sometimes, there is no cure.\u00a0 We may be given something in life for which there is no cure.\u00a0 We may go through denial, anger, and the whole ordeal of defiance and eventually come to this conclusion.\u00a0 While we may never be who we once were, we may learn active management not to make matters worse, but the course of our lives may never return to the path it once was on.\u00a0 It is ok not to return to where and who we used to be.\u00a0 We can emerge the other side.<\/p>\n
23)\u00a0 Laugh more.\u00a0 Go ahead, give it a try!<\/p>\n
24)\u00a0 Do not let life pass you by.\u00a0 There are vast numbers of things happening all around you every day.\u00a0 People, nature, thoughts, and more!\u00a0 Try to be conscious of your environment, take it all in, and appreciate what you can.\u00a0 Some people plant their flag in the timeline and decide not to grow further.\u00a0 To make matters worse, they also attempt to prevent everyone else from growing.\u00a0 While we may not be able to reach them, we do not have to become like them.<\/p>\n
25)\u00a0 Do not rely on people you’ve never met to provide your only source of inspirational quotes.\u00a0\u00a0 Develop your inspiration, surround yourself with passionate people, and enrich your life with all the shared experiences you all have together.\u00a0 Share inside jokes,\u00a0 develop code words, tell stories, and relate to each other in meaningful ways, and you may not need abstract posters lying around to remind you of what you likely already know.<\/p>\n
26)\u00a0 Learn to be constructive instead of absent.\u00a0 If you have anger issues, do not spend all your energy trying to kill your emotions.\u00a0 If you tend to over-analyze everything, do not spend all your time trying to prevent yourself from thinking.\u00a0 Learn to convert all your existing energies constructively.\u00a0 Find an activity that channels those energies into something worthwhile so you address the issue at hand and benefit yourself and others.\u00a0 It doesn’t have to be some world-changing grand idea.\u00a0 It could ‘only’ be a ‘small’ improvement for you and your community.\u00a0 Just as ‘everyone has their war to fight’ – every community has its wins to celebrate.<\/p>\n
38) Understand where your emotions originate.\u00a0 What is anger to you?\u00a0 Is it an actionable emotion driven by a desire to protect?\u00a0 What is guilt to you?\u00a0 Is it carrying around the burden of change?\u00a0 Is forgiveness relieving yourself of guilt (and thus the burden of change?)\u00a0 By understanding what drives you, you can retain control of yourself more instead of letting your emotions control you.<\/p>\n
27) Stop worrying so much about getting older.\u00a0 Really!\u00a0 Just stop.<\/p>\n
28) Everything in Moderation, including Moderation.\u00a0 A combination of wisdom, experience, and intuition will guide you on when to back off and when to commit.\u00a0 You only gain wisdom, experience, etc., by going out and giving it a go!<\/p>\n
39) After an easy period will come a difficult one.\u00a0 When you have mastered a skill, a new challenge will present itself.\u00a0 When you have conquered a challenge, a period of rest and celebration will have been earned.\u00a0 You can fall backward and complain about the ins and outs of life’s tides or flow with it.<\/p>\n
29) Horde the blame and share the credit.\u00a0 Those caring for you will not let you horde the blame alone and will bear your burden.\u00a0 On the same token, those that care for you will not let you escape your share of the credit either.<\/p>\n
30)\u00a0 Save your judgments for afterward.\u00a0 While we all can invent unfavorable mental scenarios and freely judge them accordingly, we should try not to pre-judge things.\u00a0 If we believe in a conclusion before we have the experience to make an educated decision, we may ruin the experience we were supposed to have before we ever had it!\u00a0 Be open to new perspectives and experiences.\u00a0 While you may decide not to repeat some experiences, some will be worth having again.\u00a0 Some may become new favorites and things you want to share with others who may wish to pre-judge it negatively, as you once did.<\/p>\n
40) Practice Mindfulness.\u00a0 Mindfulness is being in the present without judgment.\u00a0 It isn’t possible to go through life entirely without judgment.\u00a0 We must determine some things as dangerous to us and act accordingly to survive.\u00a0 However, we can develop a mindfulness practice to turn off that ‘danger radar’ and experience life in front of us as it is.\u00a0 When we judge something, we are in our minds about it, not in the present.\u00a0 It is ok to stop and smell the flowers without assigning a label to it.\u00a0 It is ok to look around and just be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Original 30 (Written in 2013, Updated in 2023 as my writing skills have improved)\u00a0 31-40 Written in 2023. Purpose:\u00a0 30 Tidbits of wisdom written throughout 30 days before I turn 30.\u00a0 Not written in any particular order, just meant to share thoughts and provoke more.\u00a0 31-40 Added as a supplement. 1) Embrace Nicknames.\u00a0 Names […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[338],"tags":[315],"class_list":["post-28365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-considered-thoughts","tag-315"],"yoast_head":"\n