2025 : A Year of Compassion<\/p>\n
I initially wanted 2025 to be A Year of Focus.\u00a0 2024 got away from me;\u00a0 it felt like the bad news piled on, and I lost myself just trying to do my best day to day.\u00a0 My instinct is to try to work harder, but as I\u2019ve come to learn, that\u2019s been a contributor to the problems at times.\u00a0 If \u2018work harder\u2019 was the solution to everything, our world would look drastically different.\u00a0 I know in my heart if I could be doing something, I would be doing it already, so having a Year of Focus wasn\u2019t the correct answer.\u00a0 My second instinct is to ask, \u2018Why?\u2019\u00a0 Why can I not accomplish what I\u2019m attempting to at the time I\u2019m attempting it?\u00a0 Such a self-analysis led me to realize I\u2019ve been treating myself poorly, and before I can focus the way I want to, I must learn to be compassionate with myself.<\/p>\n
What is Compassion?\u00a0 At the level most of us have right now, compassion is some form of caring about something that doesn’t impact us or forgiving something that does.\u00a0 However, compassion at a deeper level does not have to forgive at all as we never made a judgment to begin with – and being most of us sit with regrets about our past, we haven’t reached this level yet.\u00a0 Compassion requires detachment, but westerners don’t understand detachment either.\u00a0 Westerners think detachment is apathy, something elections show they’re good at.\u00a0\u00a0 Detachment only means we remain stable in a changing world or put similarly – something else can change, but that change doesn’t automatically force us to respond.<\/p>\n
My instinct to work harder stems from a powerful imposter syndrome, one that is going to take a lot of hard work to quell.\u00a0 As I sit here and meditate on it, I become saddened as I get a better sense of just how far-reaching it is, from my past to my work to my relationships. It is deep-seated and influential.\u00a0 I know one of the consequences of it is I refuse to allow to see myself as others do.\u00a0 Others compliment me, and while I generally do not doubt their authenticity, I refuse to allow myself to view myself in the same light.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not where I want to be with my health, my house, my ability to be creative, or my ability to rest.\u00a0 I have stripped my ability to enjoy life in multiple instances and have mainly become either anxious or exhausted.\u00a0 I address this by trying to \u2018soldier through\u2019 it and, get things done in spite of anything, and manage life waiting for the next bit of bad news.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad that through all of this my ability to be kind and thoughtful to others has remained a strongsuit, as such I know I\u2019m capable of doing it, I merely need to learn to apply it to myself.<\/p>\n
I harbor a deep inward anger and an equally deep outward hope.\u00a0 Yes, there are a select few others I am angry with, but those are the war profiteers and the exploiters making lives worse for us all \u2013 the everyperson trying to get by is generally good, even if they have trouble showing it through the scars of the system.\u00a0 I know I\u2019m a typically good person, too, but I\u2019m very aware my outward expressions have been more painful than I\u2019d like for far too long.\u00a0 Before I can (A Year of) Focus on it, I need to be compassionate with myself.\u00a0 Only endlessly working harder isn\u2019t the answer, even if my heart is in the right place.\u00a0 I know I have positive things to offer, and I\u2019d like that to be the core of how I see myself as opposed to accidental successes.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to believe in myself, and that will take time and practice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
2025 : A Year of Compassion I initially wanted 2025 to be A Year of Focus.\u00a0 2024 got away from me;\u00a0 it felt like the bad news piled on, and I lost myself just trying to do my best day to day.\u00a0 My instinct is to try to work harder, but as I\u2019ve come to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[337],"tags":[334,168],"class_list":["post-28991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-mindfulness-journey","tag-334","tag-hope"],"yoast_head":"\n